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Divorce/Separation     Print Topic    
User Topic: Abbondad Part 5
cliffside
♀ Member
Member # 38803
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go to Best Buy and get a new TV. They usually have 0% interest for at least 12 months. And while you're getting that TV make sure it's one of the ones that has Internet Access. Then you can access NetFlix, Amazon, all sorts of stuff and your kids can come visit and then go back bat shit crazy STBXW's house and say "You should see what Daddy's TV can do!!"

She is one crazy bitch.


Me: BS 39
Him: WH 41
2 Kids
D-Day: 2/3/13
Broke NC 3/14
Very skeptically in R for now...

Posts: 269 | Registered: Mar 2013
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know her crazy, you've said all along what she will do, and she does it. Stay strong in what you want from this, you've got 'stuff' that you will need to raise your kids comfortably. Don't settle for anything less.

You're doing great keeping calm. I'd hate to be around her now and until trial-she's going to be batshite crazy.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5161 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know her crazy...

I do indeed. Predictably, she has now cycled briefly into her Nice Mask due her perceived sense of victory, vindication, and power over the TV "battle"--a battle taking place entirely in her mind. She has actually emailed me beginning with "Hi" and ending with "Thank you."

She has also emailed me a few times to call her. I have ignored these messages. Here is how ludicrous she can be: She leaves phone messages for me that begin, "Hi, Abbondad; this is CSTBX."

As though I don't know who it is!!!! Insane.

She believes she has now regained control and will steer this back in the direction she desires. But upon reading this week the revised final MSA detailing all the money she must pay me and the children, her Nice Mask will fall off and she will don her Vicious Mask once again.

My prediction remains: she will sign nothing and we will proceed to trial. Perhaps she will sign on the court house steps. Maybe.

(I will be purchasing an awesome 60" Smart TV. The kids will love it.)

[This message edited by Abbondad at 1:09 PM, March 23rd (Sunday)]


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1622 | Registered: Dec 2012
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hah...she takes the big screen tv, but in the long run she will be buying your new and better one. Whose victory is it....YOURS!


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2982 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

9 days

Keep hanging in there!


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1762 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take it from me,,,, when you get the CS set up,make sure it goes thru the Clerk of the Court. That way when she is late with the payment, you can get the court to go after her, not a private attorney.


She's acting like this now with the court's eyes on her, it gets worse for a while after the D. But, now 1 year after D, I don't have too much issue with XH, because I only contact him regarding the kids.....hopefully it'll be like that for you, too.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2145 | Registered: Jan 2012
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now she's texting me asking for the silverware and dishes back, as they were given to US from her mother. (Which would make them marital assets?) Whatever. I said sure, I will bring it all back. I'm sure this mild agreement drove her crazy.

(I don't exaggerate when I say these consist of the plainest functional dishes and silverware from Target.)

And now texting me to inflate DD's bike tires--she won't take the bike until I do!!

I texted her, "I will pump them when I get a chance. If DD wants to ride her bike now, there is a pump at every gas station."

Her text just now:

"Not taking anything else in home until we are sure where it's going
Waiting also for your lawyers MSA"

It's so predictable. She is flailing desperately, furiously, scraping the bottom of the barrel. Yeah, sure she's going to sign it. We are going to trial.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1622 | Registered: Dec 2012
Undefinabl3
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I retrack what I said earlier....

This woman is crazy - and you are right it wouldn't matter if you gave her literally everything she asked for, she would still take more.

In the future, if she texts about wanting something else, text back 'please send that request to my attorney" because in the end, even though its a little thing, its still a thing that needs to be worked out.

I would also email your lawyer about what just transpired, and let them know that she obviously has no intent to sign anything and will continue to get crickets until the court date.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1751 | Registered: Sep 2012
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You called it, AD.
You said she'd pull this and she is.

In the future, if she texts about wanting something else, text back 'please send that request to my attorney" because in the end, even though its a little thing, its still a thing that needs to be worked out.

I would also email your lawyer about what just transpired, and let them know that she obviously has no intent to sign anything and will continue to get crickets until the court date.


This. Don't engage, don't answer her other than to say "Please send any/all requests through our lawyers". You're going to have to go to trial.
Your STBXWW is off her rocker.


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6456 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
hummingbird8
♀ Member
Member # 25086
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why are you still talking to her? From the beginning you have been advised to just stop and yet it's an everyday thing. Stop engaging with her. Tell your lawyer to tell hers she will not stop wanting and you will see her at trial and not to answer them again about some stupid request. You are getting something out of this which I'm sorry makes you just as responsible as she is!

Posts: 505 | Registered: Aug 2009
Undefinabl3
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why are you still talking to her? From the beginning you have been advised to just stop and yet it's an everyday thing. Stop engaging with her.

He actually does a pretty good job of cricketing her.....I have read all of his threads and have noticed that he appeases her when she gets to a head popping point.....he releases a bit of the air so to speak.

Abbondad - I think you are doing things as well as you can. You are keeping your head down and plugging along. Most of us would have either thrown in the towel or be so upset we would need serious meds by now.

It takes a really strong person to deal with someone so NPD. put you head back down and muster own.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1751 | Registered: Sep 2012
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It takes a really strong person to deal with someone so NPD. put you head back down and muster own.
Yep, you just keep powering through this shit. Once you come out the other side, pretty much everything going forward can be put in perspective. You handled D with a crazy person so everything else is a relative cake walk. Stress level during D through the roof, 6 months post D mega project due at work...stress level non-existant.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1905 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Freeme
♀ Member
Member # 31946
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On a side note I'm sure AP is going nuts. Aren't they living in a small bachelor pad type place? he has got to be wondering where all of these "things" are going and his prize isn't working.... and is just costing more and more money....


Posts: 229 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Washington DC
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, everyone. I'm doing my best.

When we were in false reconciliation, CSTBX told me POS AP "didn't want any drama in his bachelor pad," since he has "so much drama in his life outside it." Yes, he lives in a 2/2 apartment at an upscale yacht club. No kids, never married.

DD sent me a video tour of his place "now that mommy has all her stuff here." The place looked like that show "Hoarders." And this was back in January. I can't imagine what it's looking like now. And smelling like too, with DS's reptile, fish and amphibian menagerie and our stinky 18-year-old dog.

He must truly love his middle-aged, unemployed, bankrupted, insane, demanding mother-of-two special needs-wildly fighting kids, as she goes deeper in debt and thrashes through an acrimonious divorce from a husband with whom she is obsessed.

(Insert romantic music here.)


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1622 | Registered: Dec 2012
Undefinabl3
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He must truly love his middle-aged, unemployed, bankrupted, insane, demanding mother-of-two special needs-wildly fighting kids, as she goes deeper in debt and thrashes through an acrimonious divorce from a husband with whom she is obsessed.

As NPD as she is, i would give all my money that she has him believing she is the victim and since they are in so in LURRVEE that she's probably actually nice to him...thus feeding his ego and he's over looking all the nerotic behavior.

Once you are no longer her main target...he will be - that ship will float like the Hindenburg.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1751 | Registered: Sep 2012
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

regarding the guided tour. I hope you kept a copy. two issues immediately spring to mind. first would be the living conditions there. the environment you describe does not sound very child friendly. second, you mean the kids have to share a bedroom? not very far into the future, that will no longer be age appropriate.

have you given your lawyer the guided tour yet?


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2869 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 6:25 AM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dad,

Give your lawyer the guided tour to see if it makes a difference when going to trial. It might not make a difference, the situation is temporary-she is looking for a new place.

HOWEVER- be careful about how you use the info the kids give you, what does she do when she finds out the info you have is a result of a kid?

My XH had repercussions for the kids, small slights that let them know they were not his-inner-circle worthy. It made them want to be back in that circle, so they told him things that I would rather he didn't know. Which he of course used. But it caused me step back from my kid out of hurt.

Retreat is a normal response to emotional pain but I feel I lost something with one of my kids, that I have with the other 3. I ask myself often if this is because of above, or was he grooming her from such a young age to be his golden child and it's parental alienation or is she NPD?

Just letting you know to be careful how this info is (if) used.

Hugs,
K

PS She really should be going thru her attorneys for any changes in marital property.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5161 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. Unfortunately I did not save the video. Probably literally the one thing I did not save. (Never thought it could be useful.)

I do feel bad about the sleeping arrangements. DS hates sharing a tight little room with his sister.

STBX's possible claim that she had to move there because she was terminated will not fly, as she moved there at least three weeks prior to her termination. At the time she made the decision to move to a less-than-ideal residence far from the children's school and primary residence, she was earning 115k and could have moved anywhere--at least to a three-bedroom. She did not have the children's best interests in mind.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1622 | Registered: Dec 2012
seriouslylostit
♀ Member
Member # 23987
Default  Posted: 2:35 AM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"well I was gonna give you the smart tv as a praise Jesus you're almost single gift but it seems you always choose the lesser for yourself ... Like you get off on punishing yourself"

I don't know how you do it Dad! You have times all to yourself along with var of her that if you put all the recordings on the computer you could come up with some fun sentences and along with spoofing up her number, the double Dutch karma bus is the hilarious place to be. I mean, She's such a %#% she deserves it and she'd never figure it out. I'm not suggesting you do something I never did. It actually helped with the D ... He thought he was losing his mind as did the pathetic OW who last I saw turned and ran as fast as her feet could go because "if she said the wrong thing to me, the universe would hit her hard". What an idiot!


Posts: 843 | Registered: May 2009
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 5:49 AM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have received STBX's revised MSA via her attorney.

While there are definitely a few financial and other "kinks" to challenge, it is overall acceptable on the most important points.

I will not sign until she signs; and again, I expect she will not--or at least drag it out until the day before trial.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1622 | Registered: Dec 2012
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