Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Whatsnext32 (44956)

Divorce/Separation     Print Topic    
User Topic: Abbondad Part 5
Undefinabl3
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I've had a really, really "hard" talk with STBX about trial and what will happen should she continue on her current path.
So as of an hour ago, she is willing to pay the $3000 lump sum alimony and the $1753.41 that she removed from the joint bank account. Also, she is requesting an equitable division of the household goods. If Abbondad wants to keep more than his share of the household goods, he will have to reimburse her.

I understand that you are probably beyond frustrated at this point. However, I think we can still resolve this."

Is it bad that all i heard was the lawyer saying

"This batshit crazy woman of a client is driving me up the wall, and I really don't know if I want to represent her in a trial.

Please, please, pretty please just make a deal so I dont have to do this....Please <insert puppy dog face> <insert sad cat eyes>"

Joking aside....here's the thing at this point. There are things that you can not give on (ie the money situation) and there are things that are probably ant hills that are being made into bigger hills (ie the TV)

Don't lose sight on the actual important parts. The TV can be replaced - seriously. And really, your children are not going ot care What TV it is, just that you have one.

If you honestly and truely do not think that you will fiscally survive a trial. Then you need to seriously consider what you are willing to compromise on, because even if you go to trial, you probably will not get every thing that you want either.

You are doing really really well....just don't lose sight of what is truely important just to prove a point elsewhere.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1729 | Registered: Sep 2012
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The TV Saga continues. Here is her attorney's latest Email:

Of these items STBX is requesting the big tv, her bike, her grandmother's dresser, washer/dryer, and either the iPad or the computer and printer. The big tv is the thing she really, really wants. Let me know what Abbondad thinks, but the tv will really help with STBX's emotional state. I know...I don't get it either, but it is what the client wants.... I think she will be happy if she can get the big tv, her bike, the dresser, and either the iPad or the computer and printer.

I think I "get it" even if her attorney does not:

When STBX was rewriting our marriage, she constantly cited as a reason she was so unhappy was that I played too many video games on...our big-screen TV. So taking it away from me? Batshit-Crazy vengeance??

Oh, and here were her other complaints about how monstrous I was (when asked by our MC at the time). I am serious. This is what she came up with:

I will not cease my adultery because Abbondad:

Plays too many video games (would she rather I'd gone to strip clubs?)
Did not want to go to Harvard Square when we went to Boston ten years ago (We'd had an exhausting, wonderful day walking around. I'd had it.)
Would not "let me" get leather seats when we purchased our car (We didn't have much money at the time so I expressed my veto.)
Is very impatient when teaching me how to use a computer (I don't even know what to say.)
Chewed too much Nicotine gum (Guess I should have smoked instead)

[This message edited by Abbondad at 1:24 PM, March 21st (Friday)]


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1621 | Registered: Dec 2012
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you hit the nail on the head, AD. It's a victory to her to hit you where she *thinks* it will hurt you most.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25362 | Registered: Aug 2011
Undefinabl3
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of these items STBX is requesting the big tv, her bike, her grandmother's dresser.

Fine, they are things - replaceable....fine.

She can suck it on the W/D, that will have to stay with the house - sucks to be her.

Honestly - its on you for the other stuff.

Or....you can play her game.

She can have the whole lot of she continues to agree to pay the lump $3000, return the 1753. 41, and agrees to $700/month CS payments....She want's the stuff so bad, she can pay for it...I would love to see the smoke that comes out of her ears from that.

(well, except her grandmother's dresser...i am not fond of keeping family things like that from other family, but that's just me)


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1729 | Registered: Sep 2012
standingonmarble
♀ Member
Member # 31217
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let her have the tv and then go buy a bigger one as soon as you can. That will teach her!


At one time he was a man standing on marbles. Now I am a woman standing on marble.....

We are done fighting with each other and decide to fight FOR each other.


Posts: 737 | Registered: Feb 2011
sudra
♀ Member
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yea, big screen TVs have come down so much in price in the last few years. Let her have it and get this over with.


Me (BW) (55), Him(SAWH) (58)
Married 22 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1473 | Registered: Nov 2010
POed
♀ Member
Member # 2450
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Being divorced from her is worth a lot more than a big screen. Make sure she knows that. Besides, don't you want to make sure she knows she is doing you a favor because you REALLY wanted, but couldn't justify purchasing, a newer, bigger, and badder big screen to play your games on?

That should piss her off.

[This message edited by POed at 5:02 PM, March 21st (Friday)]


Posts: 836 | Registered: Oct 2003 | From: St. Louis, MO
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"This batshit crazy woman of a client is driving me up the wall, and I really don't know if I want to represent her in a trial.

Please, please, pretty please just make a deal so I dont have to do this....Please <insert puppy dog face> <insert sad cat eyes>"


(now that I'm done laughing......)
I'm not asking for a list of your household goods or anything, but is that ALL that crazywoman is asking for? Earlier she wanted an equitable division of the household goods and said that if *you* wanted to keep more than your share, then you'd have to reimburse her.
But she's only *asking* for, like, 5 things? -- 2 of which are basically *hers* anyway (bike, gma's dresser)?

Is the w/d even an option? Was it included in the sale of your house? Does your new place have a w/d available?


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8006 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gonnabe (and everyone),

That it's come down to this--three days of attorneys talking about a TV and other "things" is incredible. Division of household stuff was the one area we never had any strife over--until around three weeks ago, when I asked her if I could take the dresser for DD's room. I can't explain it other than she is panicking as the days to trial tick down and she is losing control.

In any case, everything I have taken (and to which she agreed! No, not in writing) is the bare minimum to start my new little home: couch, table, TV, beds, two cheapo bookcases and a dresser for our son. That's it. Literally. She took everything else, and I had and have no problem with that. I guess I shouldn't be disturbed at her behavior by now, but I still am.

Oh, the washer and dryer: I have to take these because my rental home does not come with them. Also, I purchased (myself of course) the washer only a few months ago. Now that I recall, she was strangely upset that I had done that--bought a new washing machine without informing her. Huh? She moved out over a year ago!

Anyway, I am standing firm on everything I need (she even wants the kids' beds! Yes, they have beds at her residence plus everything else). If she wants the TV and that's all that's preventing her from signing the MSA agreeing to all my terms, fine. Take the TV. Just go away, please.

Ten days til trial or signed MSA. I'm still betting trial. If so, I am resigned and prepared.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1621 | Registered: Dec 2012
LifeIsBroken
♀ Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tell her she can have the stupid tv - if it's gone and you replace it with a new one, then there's no trigger involved with the tv - but you keep the washer/dryer. Period. Good riddance all the way around. Your atty is charging far more for all this messing around than it will cost you for a new tv. You could buy a 60" with what you'd save on the bargaining.


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 491 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, March 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shocking news! STBX has changed her mind! She is not going to sign the MSA after all! But her attorney believes that if we just give her the TV, she will sign and trial will be cancelled.

Clearly she has a lot to learn about my STBX. I give her the TV? She still won't sign. I guarantee. She will just move on to the next thing--the couch, the table, CS, alimony--until she gets everything she wants.

So I told my attorney she is welcome to the TV. But first sign the MSA.

This has nothing to do with a television set. She is mentally ill. Period.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1621 | Registered: Dec 2012
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She IS mentally ill. I still cannot stop the thought that is telling me to tell you this: On Monday morning, put the big screen TV into your car, drive to your stbx's L's office and dump it there with a big old "here ya go, now let's wrap this shit up" note attached.

Stbxww wants the kid's beds from your house even though she already has beds for them? Seriously? Why? At this point I think I would tell my L to call her L and tell her that her client (you) thinks your stbxww is bat-shitfuckingcrazy and is going to get shredded in court, and you aren't going to agree to ANY of her lame-assed ploys.

But if she can get your stbxww to sign a MSA that you are okay with in exchange for a TV......do it!


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8006 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 1:09 AM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shocking news! STBX has changed her mind! She is not going to sign the MSA after all!

OMG! Really? Why, I thought having the children in a safe loving nurturing home was her priority! Why, I'm stunned, stunned I tell you!

/sarc

She's going to take this as far as she can get it. None of it means anything other than her believing she is in control of this situation.

Do you have a list of what she has already taken? Could be of value in future negotiations/settlements.

Keep it up. You're doing good.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2842 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
ProbableIceCream
♂ Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You guys might get a chuckle out of this (regarding the fight over the TV) --

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/21/divorce-stories_n_5008367.html


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 831 | Registered: Nov 2012
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The latest email from CSTBX's attorney:

Ok...thank you for the big screen tv. Can she still have her bike and the extra printer that Abbondad indicated are just sitting in the garage? Also, she is requesting the dresser and grandfather clock which were from her grandmother. DD doesn't have a dresser at CSTBX's.

My response:

"Good god. Of course she can. She was always expected to take the grandfather clock and her bike. And I asked her numerous times if she wanted the dresser and if she did not, that DD needs it here. She never responded. I put the printer in the garage among her other stuff."

Her attorney will foolishly breathe a sigh of relief. And will then reel in agony when CSTBX does not stop there.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1621 | Registered: Dec 2012
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Marking my place...

...she's going to be so deflated that you said yes


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - Susp EA 'The Baker'
COW - EA/PA 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
COW - Susp EA 'MiniMe'

Posts: 996 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
Jeaniegirl
♀ Member
Member # 6370
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Look for the current W's attorney to withdraw any day and especially to leave before it goes to trial.

And I wish you had said NO to the TV fiasco. Enough is enough!

[This message edited by Jeaniegirl at 2:48 PM, March 22nd (Saturday)]


"Because I deserve better"

Posts: 980 | Registered: Feb 2005
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you have a list of what she has already taken? Could be of value in future negotiations/settlements.

Yes, I have put together a list and submitted it to my attorney. It comes out to be approximately the same. But it really doesn't matter. This has zero to do with her desire for the things themselves; as you point out, 545, it is all about NBPD control. She feels it slipping away and is grasping desperately at anything.

I still maintain that she will never sign the MSA unless she gets everything she wants--specifically, no alimony, no paying me back for drawing against my personal funds, no retroactive CS, no paying me back for kids' med expenses and college fund, and CS based upon a non-existent low-paying job.

She will try for another continuance, it will be denied, and we will go to trial.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1621 | Registered: Dec 2012
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((AD))))

You are right. This has NOTHING to do with a tv, with a dresser, with a bike, etc etc.....

You are doing a great job. She is full of shit. CSTBXWW, meet reality - it's that thing slapping you in the face.

I'm sorry that you are going through this, but unfortunately you are dealing with crazy

You can get cheap furniture from a thrift shop. (No shame in that, WH and I are both university professors, and we were able to save enough money this way to pay off our house. And your kids can get an early lesson!)

She is crazy to act like she's fighting over 'stuff'. It's not about the stuff, it's about control. Lawyer number 3 (or is it 4 already) is in for a rude awakening. Oh well, not. your. problem.

Hang in there, it will (I hope) all be over soon enough.

((((AD))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2587 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, March 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are you ready for the next "this one thing and she will sign" message? You know she won't stop with this nonsense and her new lawyer doesn't know her and all her craziness.

As the end gets nearer she will hate losing any means get to you, but she will continue using the littles to punish you. What a woman....sheesh.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2967 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
Topic Posts: 932
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Lock This Topic is Locked
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.