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Divorce/Separation     Print Topic    
User Topic: Abbondad Part 5
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Perhaps a play at lowering CS/SS since she's "unemployed".

I do not doubt that she will use this to her (perceived) advantage. But I do not believe she "tried" to get herself fired. She has been fired twice before and been through nine jobs in ten years. She eventually becomes a liability for any company that hires her.

Essentially my attorney told hers that she still has a chance to settle before (expensive) trial prep begins. If they come back with radically altered terms of the agreement, I will not sign and we will go to trial. And now as a jobless person? Ouch.

We shall see.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1649 | Registered: Dec 2012
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

subpoena the HR personnel who fired her ... find out why .. I bet she was 'fired' on the books but not in reality .. sounds like a ploy to get you to accept less.

hahaha, we posted at exactly the same time .. so her MO has bit her on the butt ... she better get a damn good job the next time ...

[This message edited by BAB61 at 2:28 PM, January 14th (Tuesday)]


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

9 jobs in 10 years and 3 firings? Not the best track record. I am with the others in subpoenaing the HR/boss and having the job testimony. You may also want to line up times she was out of town on business (you know, working so she couldn't take the kids) and her timecards.
Stay strong AD, you're almost there and this could actually be a ploy to have you feel sorry for her and not go through with the trial at this time.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1783 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The timing on this smells funny.

That said, she sounds like a psychotic c*nt, so who would want to work with her...

Gah. Hang in there Dad.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17592 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with everything Faith Fool says.

YOU have to know it sounds super fishy. Not to mention how it smells.

I would definitely want proof that she was fired, and why.

Crazy ass biatch.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8744 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YOU have to know it sounds super fishy.

It is beginning to: STBX is text-bombing me telling me she is looking for a job, she wants me to agree to 50/50 timesharing (not what we agreed to at mediation), neither pays the other CS... Trying to dictate terms. She is in full panic and anger mode.

Talked to my attorney, who believes that STBX will not sign anything ever unless a judge orders it. I have to concur. So I told her not to cancel depositions and commence trial prep.

Maybe we can settle on the courthouse steps.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1649 | Registered: Dec 2012
standingonmarble
♀ Member
Member # 31217
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

did you ever find out if she was pregnant?


At one time he was a man standing on marbles. Now I am a woman standing on marble.....

We are done fighting with each other and decide to fight FOR each other.


Posts: 738 | Registered: Feb 2011
still2suspicious
♀ Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

just sending you strength, (((abb)))


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1310 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Keep pushing forward, she will offer you almost anything to not go to trial. Do not accept anything now. Get the judge to order. Your L is right, only the judge saying it will make her agree and comply.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1783 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 7:23 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

did you ever find out if she was pregnant?

She is not pregnant. Based on the numerous times DD told me "Mommy and OM are having a baby" and variations thereof, followed by mysterious "medical issues" I suspect that she either miscarried or had an an abortion. Remember: she aborted his child once before so this is not at all far-fetched. In any case I am relieved for the sake of our children.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1649 | Registered: Dec 2012
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Attorney advises that in her experience HR people will reveal nothing about the details of termination. I'm thinking of simply calling her boss myself and see if she says anything. What do you think?

Attorney also believes that whether she was fired or quit will be revealed if she does not seek unemployment. STBX texted me that she is looking for a job "right now."

I really don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel like just throwing in the towel but will forever regret not taking this fight all the way to trial. I feel like I have gone through so much hell that I must roll the dice and take the plunge; she has destroyed my family and continues to do so. Her NPD BS will continue until a judge levels an order once and for all.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1649 | Registered: Dec 2012
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her boss will say nothing to you. Don't obsess over whether she was fired or if she quit. It isn't really relevant. Remember,business deal, so your focus is on the settlement terms, CS/SS numbers and not how she lost her job. She has a demonstrated earning potential, so the important thing is that you ensure that her earning potential is reflected in the support calculations. XH was moronic enough to be fired twice during the pendency of our D. He is employed now, but took quite the demotion. Nevertheless, his support payments are based on the salary from the higher paid positions. That wouldn't change if he had quit instead of being fired.

Good luck with the trial preparation. I hope this nightmare ends soon and you can put all your energy into building a bright future.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 12:39 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She is trying to play on your emotions again. Feel sorry for me, give in to me as I am hurting. Abbondad you have outgrown this behavior on her part. Don't give in, she wouldn't care if you were fired. She would use it to her advantage. You know I am right on this one.

She is dealing with consequences, and she can't control them and it is driving her crazy (or crazier). Don't board the crazy train. Kids and finances. Proceed on the course you and your lawyer mapped out. She isn't your problem, as she has made that abundantly clear.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2988 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
wonderpets
♂ Member
Member # 35901
Default  Posted: 1:19 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just to lighten the mood a little- I was totally messed up when my XWW went nuts and had her various troubles. You may feel bad now, but you'll have some funny stories when the dust clears.

Posts: 205 | Registered: Jun 2012
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't give in, she wouldn't care if you were fired. She would use it to her advantage. You know I am right on this one.

You are absolutely right on this. I must keep it in mind if I feel myself weakening. She came for the kids this morning in OM's car. This helped bolster my resolve, as I am reminded of the destruction she has caused.

Question: she has told me that she is looking for a "normal" job. That is, one that is much lower paying. Ok. However, she has made a six-figure income for the last five years. So when it comes to CS, wouldn't her earning capacity be taken into consideration rather than a lower paying job she elected to take?

I am sure she either quit or "made herself" be terminated to avoid paying higher CS. She actually told me on the phone last week (VARd the conversation) that she planned to quit her job.

She is still text and email-bombing me, trying to get me to agree to a new MSA on her terms. I have been ignoring them.

I will see her on Friday at depositions.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1649 | Registered: Dec 2012
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know someone who quit their job to lower the CS. They went to court and the judge said, "You better get out there and find a job, you have child support due next week and I'm not lowering it".

Also, in SC if the person gets fired or quit they still owe the same child support. If they get laid off, then that's a different story.


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2259 | Registered: Jan 2012
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WHen something happens -like her getting fired,, I ask, "Ok, God, where are going with this?".

You never know how all these turns will add up,,, maybe you'll be given more time in your home to "regroup" before having to move.....

(((abbondad)))


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2259 | Registered: Jan 2012
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sure she either quit or "made herself" be terminated to avoid paying higher CS.

Judges have seen this so many times that is rarely works. Make sure you bring the past several years of taxes to show her earning potential. Also, give the recording to your L. I am not sure he/she will be able to use it but you can allow them to make that call.

For a woman who is smart enough to make so much money, WW sure is stupid


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
alphakitte
♀ Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IMO, you can agree to her new terms, but she won't sign that either. Whatever you agree to becomes her new ground zero and she renegotiates from there.

I agree with your attorney that she won't sign anything that isn't judge ordered. Proceed to trial, even if you end up with these new terms, you've just described, you will be done rather than another round of negotiations.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 350 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you have proof she was fired, or is currently unemployed? The speed and voracity and timing of all of this, make me wonder if she didn't just take a week of vacation to manipulate you into submission just one more time.

I just think she is psycho enough to try that level of F'dup manipulation.

Either way, if she is out of work, fired, layed off, quit whatever. Stick to your guns. She is gonna get a big ole kick in the lady nads by the Karma bus, and I hope to God you get to witness it, because it will just make your resolve stronger.

(((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8744 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
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