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Newest Member: shatterdlife (44923)

Divorce/Separation     Print Topic    
User Topic: Abbondad Part 5
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good luck today. Remember to keep your answers concise, less is more.


Dont get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.

Posts: 2670 | Registered: Jan 2010
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Major mojo blessings on the way for you AD. Let us know how you feel after.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1753 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Regardless of the outcome you will be fine! Good Luck AD!


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1903 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, Everyone. Pre-mediation meeting with my attorney went well. We are very prepared. All my demands and requests are eminently reasonable and based in law. But I still will be amazed if STBX concedes to anything pertaining to custody (I am going for 60/40, which is based on the state's "model timesharing plan") and she does not force to trial a very straightforward case out of pure craziness.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1616 | Registered: Dec 2012
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, January 3rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hoping for the best for you!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4802 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
HobbesTheTiger
♂ Member
Member # 41477
Default  Posted: 6:42 AM, January 4th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wishing you & your kids all the best!


BxBf, 26
Lots of FOO&other issues, working it through therapy
Legal profession

Posts: 171 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Continental Europe
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, January 4th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope you are OK AD.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17390 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
ProbableIceCream
♂ Member
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, January 4th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Uh oh. I think she literally ate him during the mediation.


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 826 | Registered: Nov 2012
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, January 4th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol, I think mediation is on January 7th. she still has plenty of time to mess with his head, I don't think she would eat him just yet.

Stay strong brother.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2823 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, January 4th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, whew, ok...


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17390 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Uh oh. I think she literally ate him during the mediation.

Cracking up laughing...

No, mediation is Tuesday, January 7. Friday was just a preparation meeting with my attorney.

Slight emotional setback, for which I have forgiven myself: yesterday I had the kids, and I injured my leg--possible torn calf muscle. Excruciating pain, nearly lost consciousness. I could not find anyone to take the kids while I went to the ER, so I had to phone the STBX to come get them.

She tried to help me to the car; I tried to refuse, but DD was right there too, so I didn't want to shake her hand off my arm. When I was in the car, she tenderly said, "Abbondad, I'm here for you..."

DD was in my arms, and I burst into tears. It just happened. I hated myself for this loss of control and for the narcissistic supply it likely gave her, but like I said, in the moment it just happened.

But the good news: I'm pretty much over it today. I went to the ER myself, I drove myself home alone, and I am recuperating alone. Six months ago, I would have been in emotional agony today after that episode, longing for her companionship, her "support." Now I see it for what it is--a bullshit manipulative mask. I remember what she has done, and who she is.

I have changed. I am still human, and I will falter. But I have changed.

I look forward to Tuesday's mediation.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1616 | Registered: Dec 2012
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

glad to see you're alive and kic... ok maybe not kicking

i don't think she's going to eat him a live until she's gotten all the blood she can from the stone.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future. -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
standingonmarble
♀ Member
Member # 31217
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pain of that level can take away all rational thinking for the moment. I have witnessed it before. That's all it was.

It's nice how you were able to keep the DD in your thoughts at the moment, but when is she going to see you drawing boundaries with STBX?? You don't have to be mean about it, but it will happen and I hope you are wrapping your mind around it.

Good luck on Tuesday.


At one time he was a man standing on marbles. Now I am a woman standing on marble.....

We are done fighting with each other and decide to fight FOR each other.


Posts: 737 | Registered: Feb 2011
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That was probably one of the best(positive) posts I have seen from you.

"Abbondad, I'm here for you..."

Now I see it for what it is--a bullshit manipulative mask. I remember what she has done, and who she is.

I have changed. I am still human, and I will falter. But I have changed.

The strength and growth you have/are showing is incredible. The man who first arrived here, compared to the man today? Wow!!

And the clincher?

I look forward to Tuesday's mediation.

She probably has no clue who you are and are in the process of becoming. She had better be scared.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2823 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi, Everyone,

Mediation is tomorrow: round two, final round; if impasse, then trial.

Wish me strength, and of course, any last-minute advice is always appreciated!


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1616 | Registered: Dec 2012
velveteer
♂ Member
Member # 30997
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

strength and mojo as always AD.
V


Divorced

Posts: 877 | Registered: Jan 2011
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((AD))))

Sending much wonderful SI MoJo your way.
Hang tough and remember you deserve to get what you are asking for. Stay the course.

((((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8489 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Huge mojo and settlement blessings


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1753 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:09 AM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you mojo for tomorrow!

And your response to her comment? NOTHING to be ashamed of. I almost cried for you right here in my seat. Her selfishness knows no bounds.

(((AD)))


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17302 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

good luck and Mojo today!

be firm with your demands

strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2823 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
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