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Divorce/Separation     Print Topic    
User Topic: Abbondad Part 5
Shattered-Heart
♀ Member
Member # 32165
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope you and your son have a fantastic time and enjoy breathing easier for a time while you're away from Ms CrazyPants.
(I read your thread and am so proud of you but haven't commented yet, others are far wiser than me right now in the journey.)


Me BW
Him WH
"The trick is to keep breathing." - Garbage

Posts: 180 | Registered: May 2011
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy Thanksgiving to all you wonderful SI friends.

Sitting in the NYC subway after enjoying the parade, then it's up to Central Park and my cousins for dinner. Having a great time with DS. We both needed this escape so badly I realize.

STBX is texting me angrily that I took him and that "both parents must agree about plans with the kids." Uh, idiot, I expressed my desire to take DS her months ago and you never protested--until the date got close and reality reared its head. Enjoy your No-Family Thanksgiving.

((Texts ignored.)


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy Thanksgiving to you also. I suspect that your STBXWW is more frustrated that you are not close by and available to save her from being a parent to DD. I truly believe she is more upset about that than you taking DS to New York. I noticed she didn't say a word until you were already gone. She didn't mention her opposition when you were at the door dropping off DD. You have a great time with DS and your family. You can deal with crazy later.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1778 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I suspect that your STBXWW is more frustrated that you are not close by and available to save her from being a parent to DD.

This.

But then I'm sure that you already KNEW this would happen.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving trip with DS!!

((((AD))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2611 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, November 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Turn off the phone while you're gone. Turn it on 2x a day to check for emergencies. Then turn it back off. And enjoy your vacation!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4943 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi, Everyone,

I think I asked this question before, but I cannot find it on my thread:

Our hearing for Motion for Temporary Relief (exclusive use of home, SS, CS, timesharing schedule, etc.) is set for December 17.

We have a HALF HOUR. That seems like an awfully short time. What can I expect? What can be done in a half hour? Does the judge just listen and then boom, renders his decision? (My first time in court, and I've seen too many Judge Judy episodes.)

(Of course I will ask my attorney the same, but you guys get back to me much faster and with similarly accurate information ;-)


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

With half an hour I would expect that time is allotted for the judge to indicate their decision and possibly allow the attorneys on both sides to dispute the decision before it is rendered. All of the necessary documentation and arguments would have been provided to the court in advance of the hearing so the judge will be prepared. Your attorney should be able to brief you on what to expect. I'm sure the allotment of time is very routine and normal.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4000 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, very routine.

The lawyers do ALL of the talking and preparation. With my first hearing there were several minutes (should have been hours) going back and forth between parties to try and reach an agreement before we got to the judge. Once you've reached a mutually agreed way forward (or an impass in my case!) only then do you see the judge.

Most courts realise that Christmas is a particularly emotional time for split families and he may insist that you 'do not leave the court until an agreement is reached on contact over the holiday period' or at least that's what mine said.


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 721 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi, Everyone,

STBX's attorney wants to cancel the hearing for Temporary Relief on 12/17 and set a trial date. I told my attorney no way. That is, go ahead and set a trial date, but the temporary hearing is absolute: This could continue to drag out, and her dictatorial ways continue unabated (no set schedule, coming to the house, no CS or SS).

Plus her interrogatories are way late, and we don't know for sure if she is pregnant (which could prove very relevant to my request for majority timesharing).

Her lease is up in January and she tells me she is going to rent a house. She is pushing to sell our house immediately. The only reason for this push from her perspective that I can infer is that she wants to know where I am going to live so she can possibly move into the kids' school district and then counter my argument that I have the preferable schedule and location.

Or maybe I'm missing something. All I know is that there must be an ulterior motive for her to want to uproot the kids in the middle of a school year--something in it for her.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To hell with being accommodating any more. Don't cancel the Temp but do schedule the trial date ASAP. You have things that need to be determined BEFORE the trial date, which could be delayed, etc. No more Mr. Nice Guy.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4943 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^ What he said. Absolutely.
((hug))


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, I guess that about clinches it: STBX was here (I wasn't home) and she took our baby bassinette. Ours. The one we rocked our babies in together, the one stained with their pee, vomit, and poop. The one I cleaned with care and love. Ours. Our family's. No qualms about using it for her child with another man with whom she caused so much devastation. No remorse. No shame. No conscience. Just one to the other; it makes no difference. She couldn't have even purchased a new one for her "new life." I assume our kids' old baby clothes and toys will be next. God, this hurts.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please ADD a lock to the doors of your home so she cannot just waltz in and out at will.

((( Abbondad )))


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6540 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dude, you're divorcing. Change the locks already. No judge is going to think it's still her residence. Come on. Stop this madness. I'm really sorry about the bassinette, that would make me wild with grief & violation. But stop enabling this!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just threw out the rest of our baby stuff to be picked up by garbage tomorrow: car seats etc. Also smashed our disgraced katuba and framed wedding invitations that have been sitting in the garage and which she never took.

I'm shaken but angry, which seems to have dulled my tears. I think I've been so saturated with daggers that this does not have the devastating effect it would have had on me months ago. Still hurts, though.

The utter lack of empathy--the fact that something so clearly unethical and deeply insensitive does not enter her mind--demonstrates just how ill and/or wicked she is.

And reminds me that divorcing her was more than the right thing to do. What an inhuman creature.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What an inhuman creature.

Yep, part of the problem is that you are expecting morals and scruples from someone for who those values do not exist except in the abstract.

Or maybe I'm missing something. All I know is that there must be an ulterior motive for her to want to uproot the kids in the middle of a school year--something in it for her.

From what I experienced, how are her finances? You said her interrogatories are late, are they the financial ones? Does she need the money to pay her lawyer, bills?

Careful brother!


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2995 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Abbondad)))) I'm so sorry. Strength to you, AD.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25765 | Registered: Aug 2011
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She has no clue what it is to be a real person. She has no clue how her cold actions could affect other people. She only knows what makes her happy and how to manipulate others to get what she wants. What a sad life.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1778 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 6:02 AM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Abb,

Isn't it strange that every heartless, cruel, selfish, inconsiderate and ignorant act by our CSTBXWW's still takes us by surprise?

Whenever we think that the stupid twat's couldn't sink any lower they prove us wrong.

Anger is good.
Good for throwing out all of the baby stuff.
She took the basinette deliberately to hurt you.


Save up some brave pills for when she starts to look pregnant. I know that will hurt me when it happens.

Thinking of you


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 721 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
deeplysad
♀ Member
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Abbondad))))


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert


Posts: 3245 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
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