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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 2 years later, I made a connection
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

While the ex was mid affair (and I was still in the dark), I came home one day and in the trash in the master bedroom was something red. I looked at it and knew that I didn't put it there. I didn't know what it was but knew that it didn't belong there. I knew it meant something bad, but I didn't know what at the time.
After dday, I knew that that piece of red something or other in the trash was significant but my mind could not make the connection.
Well, Saturday I purchased myself a little something at VS. I was not watching as she wrapped it and put it into the little bag. When I got home and opened the bag I saw my purchase wrapped in red tissue. I almost fell over - that is what had been in the trash before dday....red tissue from VS. I know it was. To think that that scummy OW brought VS stuff into my marital bedroom and had the gall to actually leave the wrapping in the trash. How vile and revolting and BALLSY.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2589 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((nutmeg)))) Ugh, honey. I'm so sorry.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25018 | Registered: Aug 2011
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry, NMK. I'm having these realizations too. Some go back much farther. Grrrrrr


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2263 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sucks, Meg. Now that we know all the facts about these cheating fuckers, we know that they aren't even good at it! They just had the "good fortune" of being married to someone who trusted them.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1828 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
StepAside
♀ Member
Member # 29826
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yuck. I've made a few of these connections over the years. I suppose it is part of the 'game' of the AP - leave something 'innocent' enough for the BS to stumble on, something that could probably either be over looked, or rationally explained, but knowing that it would trip the BS radar. Rather a passive aggressive 'calling card'. Such a-holes, tsk.


Me 48yrs, king of douchebagastan- 50yrs
far too many A's to bother to count, he is a predator that targets losers like himself
Last Dday April 12/10-Divorcing when he finds some courage
We live in a world where the fear of illusion is real

Posts: 1514 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: Ingersoll Ontario
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Long hairs on my couch. Found them for years. I have shoulder length hair, no-one I know has long hair. OWUmpteen has long hair (she wasn't even DD OW).

I told myself they must be have been brought home by my girls from the daycare carers. Y'know, because even though their hair is tied up that's still a reasonable reason.......

So many others but I can't be arsed making a list. I hate making connections. Necessary, but I hate it.

((nutmegkitty))


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5533 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
SusanR
♀ Member
Member # 29368
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Those random connections happen to me all the time. I Have a really good memory for things that seemed odd at the time but I didn't suspect an affair.

Example: He didn't want me to drive his nephew to a different city even though I was going there on business anyway. He insisted on taking him. I found out later that he had scheduled an out-of-town hotel hookup with homewrecker that day.

i believe all these things are in my psyche and I'll be having those "Aha!" moments for the rest of my life.


Posts: 1931 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still have them years later, randomly.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3303 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Topic Posts: 8

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