Topic: 2 years later, I made a connection
Member # 33882
| Posted: 9:42 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013|
While the ex was mid affair (and I was still in the dark), I came home one day and in the trash in the master bedroom was something red. I looked at it and knew that I didn't put it there. I didn't know what it was but knew that it didn't belong there. I knew it meant something bad, but I didn't know what at the time.
After dday, I knew that that piece of red something or other in the trash was significant but my mind could not make the connection.
Well, Saturday I purchased myself a little something at VS. I was not watching as she wrapped it and put it into the little bag. When I got home and opened the bag I saw my purchase wrapped in red tissue. I almost fell over - that is what had been in the trash before dday....red tissue from VS. I know it was. To think that that scummy OW brought VS stuff into my marital bedroom and had the gall to actually leave the wrapping in the trash. How vile and revolting and BALLSY.
him (NPD Ex)
"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."
Posts: 2490 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Member # 33226
| Posted: 9:50 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013|
((((nutmeg)))) Ugh, honey. I'm so sorry.
You can call me NIK
There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox
Posts: 22588 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 34722
| Posted: 9:56 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013|
So sorry, NMK. I'm having these realizations too. Some go back much farther. Grrrrrr
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
Posts: 1964 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Member # 38122
| Posted: 11:31 AM, November 11th (Monday), 2013|
That sucks, Meg. Now that we know all the facts about these cheating fuckers, we know that they aren't even good at it! They just had the "good fortune" of being married to someone who trusted them.
Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 10 and 13
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous
Posts: 1349 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Member # 29826
| Posted: 12:12 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013|
Yuck. I've made a few of these connections over the years. I suppose it is part of the 'game' of the AP - leave something 'innocent' enough for the BS to stumble on, something that could probably either be over looked, or rationally explained, but knowing that it would trip the BS radar. Rather a passive aggressive 'calling card'. Such a-holes, tsk.
Me 47yrs, douche midlife crises poster boy- 49yrs
DitchPig -45yrs Shrek in drag.
Last Dday April 12/10-Divorcing
We live in a world where the fear of illusion is real
Posts: 1502 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: The Cheese Stands Alone
Member # 35229
| Posted: 2:22 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013|
Long hairs on my couch. Found them for years. I have shoulder length hair, no-one I know has long hair. OWUmpteen has long hair (she wasn't even DD OW).
I told myself they must be have been brought home by my girls from the daycare carers. Y'know, because even though their hair is tied up that's still a reasonable reason.......
So many others but I can't be arsed making a list. I hate making connections. Necessary, but I hate it.
Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."
Posts: 4526 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 29368
| Posted: 7:37 PM, November 11th (Monday), 2013|
Those random connections happen to me all the time. I Have a really good memory for things that seemed odd at the time but I didn't suspect an affair.
Example: He didn't want me to drive his nephew to a different city even though I was going there on business anyway. He insisted on taking him. I found out later that he had scheduled an out-of-town hotel hookup with homewrecker that day.
i believe all these things are in my psyche and I'll be having those "Aha!" moments for the rest of my life.
Posts: 1922 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 3703
| Posted: 2:58 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013|
I still have them years later, randomly.
D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
Posts: 2793 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
|Topic Posts: 8|