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Newest Member: utterlydone (44718)

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User Topic: will I ever trust what he has to say again?
jwhite64510
♀ New Member
Member # 41215
Frustrated  Posted: 8:18 AM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two weeks after dday, will I ever trust what he has to say again? Like I said before, he slept with a girl one time 3 years ago and just confessed. I had pretty much assumed that he did do it even though he denied it for so long. I always told him I just needed to know the truth so I could process it and "get over it." I was completely shocked when he told me the truth. I didn't really react to it until the next day when it really hit me. It hurts that he slept with someone else, but I really had moved past it already, I just needed him to stop lying. Now I question every thing he says.

Also, is it normal for the person who cheated to fear that your are now going to cheat on them?


Posts: 5 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Louisiana
KatieG
♀ Member
Member # 41222
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It must be so difficult for you to take in this information after so long. What caused the confession?

I would also wonder if there is anything else he is not telling me. If he confessed freely, you need to know if there is anything else lurking otherwise it will eat you up.

I'm not sure about your second question. I have heard that waywards get paranoid sometimes because if they're doing it - we could be doing it. Having said that, I did go through a period of wanted to get my own back and sleeping with someone else for revenge. I realised this was destructive though and not what I really wanted. So he may fear the revenge f**k.


DD#1 - 6th Oct 13 - TT
DD#2 - 9th Nov 13 - Full disclosure
DD#3 - 12th May 14 - FOG lifted and in R
7 week A, 2 weeks together, rest phone and email - PA and EA

Posts: 422 | Registered: Nov 2013
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Even though you had a feeling this happened, you are still too new with the discovery of the truth. You need time to process this. Watch his actions and see if they line up with his words. That will be a huge indicator. If he is truly remorseful he will do the hard work that is needed to show you that he can be trusted again.

Is he telling you that he thinks you're going to cheat?

One of the many excuses my husband used on me was "I thought you already were cheating." I just rolled my eyes at that comment. There are some people who have had RA's and that is one of the worst things a BS can do because it just adds gasoline to the fire that that WS created.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
jwhite64510
♀ New Member
Member # 41215
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly, we were just laying in bed joking around and I just asked him about it and he started sobbing and told me the truth. The sad thing is, I was more concerned about him and his feelings..

I would never have a revenge affair, though. I have my children to think of and I just couldn't do that.

[This message edited by jwhite64510 at 8:25 PM, November 6th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 5 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Louisiana
Topic Posts: 4

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