HAHAHAHAHA. Like I am going to suggest to him that he apologize to her, a willing AP. Nope. She also claims she has tried writing a sufficient apology to me, but nothing seems right. No shit.
Do we now, 2 1/2 months out, send a letter? We both feel like any kind of response to her contact would open the door for her to respond again, and it seriously takes me a week minimum to stop walking around in a haze of fury every time I hear from her.
Also, the only e-mail address I have for the OBH is his work e-mail, or I would have forwarded all the e-mails to be sure he knew she had contacted us. It felt inappropriate to send them to his work e-mail. I could text him to ask if he knows, but is that just picking at scabs? How fucked up is it that I feel like a tattle-tale?
I think maybe I know the answer, that I would want to know from him if WH had made contact, but I'm still torn. OBH is not a super rational person. Let your wisdom rain down upon me, SI gurus.
I recently ended up having contact with the AP and it set me back weeks !
I took the high road and left out the part about her being a nasty whore and the only reason I didn't go 'Girl With The Dragon Tattoo' on her and get it permanently inked on her forehead was out of respect for her BH and children...something she is clearly lacking.
Then I deleted the account. I felt much better and re-reading that email still gives me comfort. There is nothing to be gained from confronting directly as no apology will suffice and it would just give AP an oppty to hurt you more...something they have already shown they are capable of doing.
BW: 42 (me)
WH: 40 (him)
Together 15 years, Married 11
2 kids (10 & 8)
False R 1/12/13-7/14/14
WH butt-dialed OW twice yesterday before he realized what had happened (he has her # in his phone so he can block her calls). She's since been buried at the end of his contacts list to avoid a repeat, but I bet that threw her whole weekend off.
lf, I would say "you have no idea how happy I'd be if she moved," but I think you probably have a very good idea!
Thanks to all once again for being awesome. Been feeling pretty isolated lately despite being very busy. It helps to check in here and be reminded what a good support system this is.
For your situation, my vote is that if she sends another note to you or WH, respond and tell her that if you hear from her ever again, you're forwarding the emails directly to her BH. Who cares if you seem like a tattle tale (which you don't)? She doesn't want to go quietly, but she needs to for you to heal. Do what is right for you.
It was so sick and twisted, only Satan himself (not his henchmen) could have conceived and carried out this most horrible and gross affair.
Sorry about that, the thought 13 years later is truly disgusting.
Thank God for his Grace in surviving that without taking my own life to escape the madness.