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Newest Member: TryingToReform (45458)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: he is still a giant piece of $hit
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been a while since the ex has irritated me (thank god), he's mostly been quiet and living his shell of a life with that OW and the spawn.
I have a girls night out next week. I've arranged a babysitter and everything. it's on a Tuesday which is his night till 6:30. The GNO starts at 7, so I emailed and said I would need to pick the girls up at 6 because I have a committment.
He emails back and says why? Are the girls going with you?

First of all, it's none of his business where I'm going. He lost that right a loooong time ago. Then he says if I can't be polite adn ask nicely and justify my reason then I will just have to stick to the schedule as written.

Are you kidding me? Be polite and as nicely? what a fucking ass. I'm shaking as I type this. So I say "fine", and I will jsut be late for my GNO. Then he follows up with one last email asking me "are you leaving the girls alone nights?"

Excuse me? What the fuck do you think I am doing every nigt? I guarentee you he thinks I am out galivanting around town with god knows who doing you knwo what while my kids are home alone. LMFAO, the truth could not be more different!!! I've never ever left them alone at night, and I only leave my oldest (12) alone for 45 mins while I grocery shop and I text her constantly that whole time.

I cannot believe what he thinks of me. It makes me feel so dirty that he thinks that and is probably telling people that. I am not that girl! I am a good and extrememly responsible mother, dammit.

Gawd, I hate him. I hate his holier than thou attitude. I hate seeing his sunken face and thinning hair. I hate, hate HATE that he still can get me this riled up!!!!!!!!!!!


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2604 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
chikastuff
♀ Member
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you have a first right of refusal clause in your agreement? If so, then schedule or not you should be offering him the time with the girls before getting a sitter.

I totally get where you're coming from, though. I think the best course of action is to keep the details, justifications to a minimum. Just say "I have an appointment and I'm going to be a bit late, can you please pick up the girls". And NOTHING about the GNO, etc. And you don't have to justify anything to him so fuck that noise.


Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
chikastuff
♀ Member
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry, read that wrong. I would 1. either be late for your GNO (what's a 1/2 hour, anyway) or
2. tell him you and the girls have plans/an appointment, etc that start early.


Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We do not have a first right of refusal clause, specifically because I did not want to have to tell/justify to him where I was going, ever. He has no right to know that any more.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2604 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't give him any because's - ever. "Can I pick the girls up at 6pm".

If he asks why then crickets and you make other plans.

TBH I probably wouldn't have even asked him for an earlier pickup because 30 mins is simply not worth the contact to me. I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much.

Even if you were doing what he is insinuating it doesn't make you a bad mother or 'that girl'. Why would you think it does?

Who gives a flying fuck what he thinks? If he tells people rubbish about you and they believe him then they are almost as big a fuckwit than him.

So.Fucking.What?

Irritating, yes - but immaterial.

You can't control his fuckery but you can control how much you let it impact you. Work on that and you'll never feel this way again.

My favourite NIK-ism: "They know exactly which buttons to press because they installed the fuckers!!".

FTG.

The sad clown still tries to goad every chance he gets. It used to make me as livid as you are now. Exactly the impact he was aiming for.

Fuck.That.Guy. I've worked very hard to not just not show that he has impacted me but also to have it really not impact me.

These days I have a quiet chuckle at how pathetic and transparent he is.

Poor sad clown, you need better bait than that. Loser.

Next time he pulls this shit say to yourself: "Still so important to you. Dude, show your dick some respect and at least PRETEND your shell of of a life is working for you."

That works for me.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5619 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Still so important to you. Dude, show your dick some respect and at least PRETEND your shell of of a life is working for you."

yes, exactly. It creeps the ever loving fuck out of me that he STILL, 2 plus years after dday, cant well and good LEAVE ME ALONE. Just move on buddy. I have. Why he still wants to push my buttons is fucking CREEPY. Push your stupid cheater wife's buttons - you married her, now go bug her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2604 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much.

Bwahahahahaha....good one. I'm stealing it! LOL
He likes pushing your buttons. Any response other than crickets empowers him.
He is a dweeb, hit the ignore button and make other plans.
Now, if he were truly happy, he wouldn't feel the need to get a rise out of you. Ever heard the phrase, "misery loves company". Kill him with kindness or blatantly ignore him. You will end up pushing his buttons without even trying.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2349 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cannot believe what he thinks of me.

It's not what he thinks of you, it's what he knows about himself. He's the best thing walking from his POV yet he's fu*king awful! Therefore, the rest of the world must be even worse.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's an idiot. Nice try at trying to be the superior parent here, you dope. Don't let him rile you up-- he's just one of a long line of sad little people who pull this crap with their exes. I think that the only reason my ex hasn't done this (yet) is because he's working overtime to prove how wonderful his marriage to the Owife is, which of course means that he isn't thinking about me or wondering what I'm doing. Any questions to me about my life and my business (which, of course, would be roundly ignored) would puncture a hole in the perfect little fantasy he thinks he's created. Gee, maybe things aren't so wonderful for your ex over in Owifeland these days? Why else would he bother stirring the pot?

FTG!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3623 | Registered: Oct 2011
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I probably wouldn't have even asked him for an earlier pickup because 30 mins is simply not worth the contact to me.
I totally agree. 30 minutes isn't worth the crazy.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3429 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cannot believe what he thinks of me.... It's not what he thinks of you, it's what he knows about himself.

This!!!

The thing that is helpful to us involved with NPD's is once you know this, it is freeing. He is tipping his hand and showing you what is going on in his head. Because he has no empathy he just assumes everyone is just like him...This lets you know he will leave the kids unattended.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jan 2010
Topic Posts: 11

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