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User Topic: Any of your WS's still using endearments?
Spelljean
♀ Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH still uses "baby" and "honey" when we converse. We are divorcing.

Anyone notice this as something that lasted a long time?

I use his first name and requested he do the same but he won't.

Guess I will just need to ignore it.


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ex called me "hon" for a long time, out of habit I believe.


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1280 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
No12turn2
♂ Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine doesn't want to R but she still says babe to me. She also still says I love you before she goes to sleep on the couch or before she leaves or hangs up the phone. We both know she does it out of habit and nothing else


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Funny, xpos told me when we were first together that saying those things to each other just sounded *fake* and *phony* to him and he didn't want to do that.

Shortly after I started to suspect him of cheating, he suddenly started calling me "babe" and got all indignant when I asked him why.

Right after he left for slut, he came here one day and took a call from her standing in front of me. He stood there saying, "oh, honey, sweetie, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!".

So I guess that was an indication that it all was fake in his mind.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2381 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
stunnedin12
♀ Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wh and I seldom used endearments before the affair.

Now? The only thing I call him is his first name and/or Mr. last name.

Every once in awhile I used to call him his common work nickname but I will never use that nickname again since chickie used it all the time.

He has started calling me, honey. I don't know that it means diddly squat to him.


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 476 | Registered: Jan 2013
surviving1963
♀ Member
Member # 40393
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH NEVER used any terms of endearment, like honey, babe, sweetie......until now. After 32 years of him acting like talking that was corny. He has started calling me "sweetie". What?! Where did that come from? Butt-kisser. It's not working.


Me: 50
WH: 50 pro cake-eater, NPD, SA
Married 33 years
D-Days 3-4-12, 8-19-12 (EA, probably PA)porn,ashleymadison, etc, etc
4 sons, 3 daughters
8 grandkids
Divorcing - finally

Posts: 120 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Utah
Onan
♂ Member
Member # 33473
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never really had any endearments - just first names only. One time though, when making love she said "Ohhh, baby..". Problem is - "baby" was her endearment with OM. Kinda ruined the moment.

Sadly, a true story...


BS(me): 56
WW(her): 52
M: 19yrs
D-day: 8/25/2011
Good news: Wife really, really likes sex. Bad news: Just not with me.

Posts: 185 | Registered: Sep 2011
Raven96
♀ Member
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We NEVER used our names. It was always "Hon" or "Honey," and when our son was little it was "Mommy" or "Daddy." For the first few months after D-Day I used ONLY his first name. He would answer, "What, RA-VEN," clearly annoyed that I wasn't saying "Hon." When our toddler started calling him by his first name, I went back to the way it was. We are R, so I figured why not?


Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
TheRealDeal
♀ Member
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 7:29 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have names for each other but never "hon" or "babe".

After Dday he started calling me "hon" or "babe". That was new and apparently the names they called each other.

So whenever he called me "hon" or "babe" I replied each time with "who is that?". He got the message.

Those 2 words are no longer part of our vocabulary.


Me: 45, him: 54
together 18 years
DDay1 March 2013, Dday2 April 27, 2013, Dday3 June 1, 2013
We are in R and trying to make it
Never lose yourself trying to hang onto someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Posts: 252 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
fourever
♀ Member
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He tried a nickname on me he used for mow. Until I ripped him a new asshole for it.


In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!


Posts: 877 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 12:58 AM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It seems that WSs have this in common, at least among the posters to this thread. Quite a number have said that the endearments were a new development around the time the A began. This is true of when I suspected him of it in our case.

Just an observation upon reading through the thread.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2381 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Topic Posts: 11

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