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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Release the Kracken!
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wanted to update everyone on my court appearance last week. Back info here http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=512043&HL=34533

First of all thanks to EVERYONE who said not to wear sweats. I ended up wearing my old dress that fit just fine due to surgery swollen body. I looked good. Flat motorcycle style boots. I was totally uncomfortable, but at least I looked good.

STBXH lawyer saw me come in and came and said we should talk before seeing the judge. OK. STBXH now has a job, makes maybe a bit more than before, but poor muffin has to commute 2 hours, get up early, may have to rent a room etc. So he will need some additional $ for that. Umm no. While we were married he traveled like that all the time for his job. She asks if I have made any $. I remind her I am self employed and just went into surgery. No $ coming in. Discussion over.

We finally get called up to the judge (about 2 hours after being there). Judge starts asking questions, and STBXH lawyer says that now he has a job, but they don't know how much $ I am making and he needs some concessions because the company is not paying his expenses like he thought. And his lawyer is mad because I have not given her a copy of my tax return. (I did bring a copy).

I told the judge that I would be more than happy for her to have a copy just as soon as she completes the Financial Statement that came with the notice of court hearing. I said it is not completely filled out and what is is inaccurate. (he put down he is making house payment, he is not I am, he put down he has DS 5% of the time. He does not. DS has spent 2 nights with him in 2 years).

The judge took a look at it and admonished her for not having complete file. Said it was highly unlikely that it would count as a notice because of the incompleteness of it. He said he would not rule on anything until it was completed. That we would have to schedule a long session. Lawyer said she could have it completed before 1:30 time, he said if we came back at 1:30 in agreement ok. Otherwise schedule a long session. Both parties said it would be hard for another date, STBXH because of job, me because I am supposed to be recoverying. Judge did not care.

Everyone left courtroom. I lagged behind STBXH & his lawyer. When I came out there was STBXH sitting outside the courtroom. I walked past him like he wasn't even there. He yelled my name. I looked at him with detachment and said "Don't talk to me, talk to your lawyer". And proceeded to get into elevator.

His lawyer called me (I was resting in my car) and said they wanted to continue the same amount, but because he did not get paid anything except unemployement they wanted to not pay for 1 month. I said no. She tried arguing. No. I said I would be back 15 minutes before session. We could talk then.

So back up I went after resting. Sat in a room with STBXH and his lawyer. They tried telling me how it was only 1 month. I said I get that, not my problem. STBXH had the nerve to say that I should be happy he got a job instead of just collecting unemployment. I looked at him and said that he could do whatever he wanted to do. That was on him. He said that when he ran the house and did not have a job he could make all the payments on $2000. So what, that's not why we are here. They kept saying its only 1 month. I kept telling them, no. I really think they thought I would roll over. NOT any more. Lawyer complained that it would be a hardship for STBXH to show up for another court date. I said not my problem. Lawyer said STBXH would have to call into court on that day, and it was very hard for lawyer to represent client when they are on the phone. I pointed out that was not my problem. Lawyer got all huffy and said guess we will get another court date. You betcha!

Got back in front of judge, said we couldn't come to terms and he gave us a court date. So in a couple of weeks I get to go to court again.

I have soooo many thoughts. First, it was awesome that I did not cry, did not shake and was a rock during the day. The fact that they tried to bully me just made me stronger. Had STBXH thought about maybe letting me know he lost his job (still don't know why) and would work something out with me, instead of the instant he lost his job run to his lawyer and court to reduce cs/ss I might have considered it. Not now. I am angry that he has to drag me back into court just 3 weeks after we reached a settlement agreement!

I enjoyed the comment from lawyer when realizing just because I didn't have a lawyer didn't mean I would roll over "you are quite capable". You betcha!

A little part of me hopes that I get more cs/ss due to the $ differences and the fact that I have DS 100% of the time. That would teach STBXH not to run to the courts the minute he has a problem!

And the best part of the day. While we sat in the courtroom for over 4 hours, I was not paying any lawyer to do it. STBXH was. He is so stupid. We are arguing over about $2,000. It cost him $500 every day he misses work. And figure he is paying his lawyer $300/hour. Bottom line, it would be cheaper to pay me!

Anyway at the end of it all, I walked out of there knowing that I will be just fine. I have my brain back, I have my feelings under control (still broken hearted, wish things were different) and STBXH has just released the Kracken!!!!

He has no idea what I am capable of.

The only bad part is that I am sure he thinks I am doing this because I am a "bitch", that I want all his money, and I am being spiteful because of what he has done. I don't think so, I just am not going to be a pushover like I have been in the past.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 748 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What an incredible show of strength, well done. You rock!

Stand tall and be proud.

And ((hugs)) cause this shit is still hard.


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 729 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You rock.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21051 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome!

And the best part of the day. While we sat in the courtroom for over 4 hours, I was not paying any lawyer to do it. STBXH was. He is so stupid. We are arguing over about $2,000. It cost him $500 every day he misses work. And figure he is paying his lawyer $300/hour. Bottom line, it would be cheaper to pay me!

If the attorney brings up this hardship, I would point out that he has the $ to pay an attorney but can't pay what he was ordered to pay.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52205 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Way to go!!


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6443 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wooo hoooooooo, ROCK ON!!!!!


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2587 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
jackie89
♀ Member
Member # 38271
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's so awesome!


Separated/divorcing

"The Secret of Change is to focus all your energy - not on fighting the old, but on building the new" ~~Lori Greiner FB post~~


Posts: 481 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
Snapdragon
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are arguing over about $2,000. It cost him $500 every day he misses work. And figure he is paying his lawyer $300/hour. Bottom line, it would be cheaper to pay me!

Proof he is an idiot and it is NOT about the money - it is about winning. Surely his lawyer isn't going to point this out to him. Complaining about his hardship while he's shelling out good $ for a lawyer for this? Shameful.

The only bad part is that I am sure he thinks I am doing this because I am a "bitch", that I want all his money, and I am being spiteful because of what he has done.

That isn't a bad part. Who cares what he thinks of you. His fine opinion (or not) of you is, as you said repeatedly - not your problem.

Good for you for standing strong. I can't believe how many time they expected YOU to have compassion and empathy for HIM. That's just gross.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3081 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Must Survive: You are fierce, and have every right to be proud of how you handled yourself.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1933 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage




I am so proud of you!! Today, you are my hero!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2199 | Registered: Oct 2012
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

you are awesome. screw the Kracken..it would be lost in the shadow of your determination and fierceness


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What an awesome update!!!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4634 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are awesome!!!!


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4780 | Registered: Feb 2008
twinkie
Member
Member # 29203
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome!! Sorry that you have to go back to court but it is an awesome update!! Let the judge slap his hand!!

Posts: 1059 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Louisiana
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can someone tell me where the standing ovation button is?????


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2676 | Registered: Jan 2010
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this is GREAT!!!

I'm so glad you put your bitch coots on and took care of business. Good job.

The only bad part is that I am sure he thinks I am doing this because I am a "bitch", that I want all his money, and I am being spiteful because of what he has done. I don't think so, I just am not going to be a pushover like I have been in the past.

yeah yeah yeah.. I've heard all that too. Who cares? I'm not going to be a pushover either - we can stand strong together!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3585 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
careerlady
♀ Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, November 4th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow I can't get past you representing yourself! You are my hero!


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 939 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
ninebark
♀ Member
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 6:55 AM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know what, you are a bitch. A big strong amazing capable bitch who takes care of herself and wears a pair of kick ass bitch boots. You lady are my hero!


BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
Compartmented
Member
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If the attorney brings up this hardship, I would point out that he has the $ to pay an attorney but can't pay what he was ordered to pay.

^^^^ This!!

And I love how many times you said no to them. YEAH!!!!!


Posts: 1261 | Registered: Aug 2010
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You rock!

And....pfffft, who gives a rat's behind what he thinks. FTG! I love that abbreviation...one more time
FTG


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2238 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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