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Member # 39802
Posted: 7:52 AM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013
[This message edited by ionlytalkedtoher at 2:08 PM, March 30th (Sunday)]
Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 29265
Posted: 3:43 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013
I can relate. There were so many things i brushed off before the A, out of character comments, excuses for being thoughtless, inappropriate behaviour i ignored because i thought i could trust him. Now the A has happened it's like I suddenly realise what a fool I was for allowing all that past stuff to happen, excusing it myself, not calling him out on it and now I resent him for so much stuff that happened in the past that i never thought twice about before. The A brings it all to a head i guess and it all ties in with the A because THAT was the end result of 'ignoring' all those past things.
Together 13 yrs
BW - Me
WH - Him
DD 20th June 2010 actual affair was early 2008 for roughly 10 wks.
Posts: 220 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
Member # 28857
Posted: 3:47 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013
I totally understand. It's been YEARS for us, but I still find myself detached and resentful. Every new annoying thing he does adds to it, as well. He's done nothing wrong, but he wasn't the loving, helpful, wonderful husband I was hoping he'd be during R. He just kind of let me deal with it on my own... and in turn, I think I dealt with it by turning away from him instead of to him. Does that make sense?
Now, most of the time I tolerate him. Sometimes, I can't stand him. There are some times I appreciate his efforts, but he rarely makes an effort.
ME - BS - 33
WH - 30
Married 9 years, together 11
2 kids: D8, S2
D-Day: June 10th, 2010
Is it bad that I'm just now able to say I'm in R?
Posts: 549 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: TX
Topic Posts: 23
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