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Newest Member: Tj6695 (44232)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The third date curse.
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you make good points StrongerOne!

Regarding Match log in times, i have a friend who hasn't been on match in over a year, back when I was on I would see that he had been logged into the site in the "last 24 hours" and he hadn't been! Can't go by what that says. I think lowering my expectations and being less anxious about texting response times, etc. has been an important part of my getting the hang of OLD...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3005 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And giving the friendship a chance while you date others seems like a very wise (and grown up!) choice CmeGo


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3005 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
trumanshow
♀ Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think him looking was the problem-just that he was "too busy" to spare a few secs to respond, when he was all over it before on a daily basis


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1742 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I never said we were exclusive...it is the switch from contacting me multiple times a day to claiming he was "really busy" yet could find the time to be on OLD.

We are in email contact and kinda just trying to be friends for now. I think he freaked out and judged really fast...which means he hasn't quite figured out how to just relax and get to know someone. I called him on it, he took it well, admitted his "issue", and now we try a friendship.

I'm good with it. We are communicating. Maybe it will be something in the future, maybe not.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4008 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
clralb
♀ Member
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oy vey! It's exhausting, isn't it?


BS Divorced.

They were right about you.


Posts: 676 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
Blackhair
♀ Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 3:29 AM, November 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stronger one,

I can not agree with you more here, you have to learn to take it not too seriously at the beginning.

Especially online dating, you probably have to meet quite a few guys before you both have the chemistry and willingness to be exclusive.

Have fun and enjoy dating! When the right person comes along you will know it.


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 163 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, November 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm reading (again) a really great book about relationships.

It says that most guys will pull back after a couple of dates to re assess the situation. The book says to continue on with your life, because once they stop thinking, IF they are interested in a good, quality, person, they will be back. If not,then they will go on and try to find someone to just screw....

The book is called "why men love bitches". Don't let the title scare you off, it's really about how to set healthy boundaries in a new relationship. The title is a "hook".


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1959 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 27
Pages: 1 · 2

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