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User Topic: When does TT end?
Sleepy312
♀ Member
Member # 38360
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you ever feel content that wS has come completely clean? My first d day was seven years ago. I didn't get the whole truth and we had a second d day last march.

When asking if there's more he swore that was it but he swore seven years ago there was nothing physical because he knew I'd divorce him.

Do you ever know? H is very shut off and doesn't like to talk about any of it. He gets pissy and angry whenever u bring it up.


Me 41
Dh 40
Married 11...he forgot our anniversary among other things. Every birthday, holdiay, whatever is forever ruined.

Together 17 years
Two great kids.

He doesn't get it. Moving us to his hometown with his toxic mother is going to


Posts: 507 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Nj
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

H is very shut off and doesn't like to talk about any of it. He gets pissy and angry whenever u bring it up.

Unfortunately if you are stuck with an asshole, as you put it AND this is his reaction to talking about the A, I don't know that you will ever know.

For me, it was repetetive questions and answers, until I felt ok that I had gotten the same ones, over and over...until I was done.

Your H hasn't given you this, so I don't know how you could be done

I am sorry, that's lousy IMO.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3792 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Sleepy312
♀ Member
Member # 38360
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm far from done! I don't trust him one bit either. I'm just not in a place to support myself financially.


Me 41
Dh 40
Married 11...he forgot our anniversary among other things. Every birthday, holdiay, whatever is forever ruined.

Together 17 years
Two great kids.

He doesn't get it. Moving us to his hometown with his toxic mother is going to


Posts: 507 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Nj
Kierst13
♀ Member
Member # 39197
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you ever know? H is very shut off and doesn't like to talk about any of it. He gets pissy and angry whenever u bring it up.

If that is his reaction to you asking questions and wanting to talk about the affair; HIS AFFAIR, the only logical answer is he is still lying, holding on to part of the story he does not want you to know. He gets angry and pissy because he is holding something back.

If he had nothing to hide he would drop the defensiveness. He lied the first time and it worked for him, and now he is behaving like a teenager caught in a lie. He is lying because he believes it will work again.


Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!

Posts: 347 | Registered: May 2013
Dallas2
♀ Member
Member # 28362
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think it ever does. If you don't ask a specific enough question, you don't get the specifc answer.

EX. Did you go out? ans: Out?

Did you go out to dinner? ans: no. It's like pulling teeth.


Me

Posts: 828 | Registered: Apr 2010
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Sleepy)))

Nope you won't feel like it's ended until you get a real change in attitude with him.

When the defensiveness, and anger went away, and I didn't feel like I had to cautiously ask questions, or be afraid of anger when I brought it up, that's when I got enough info, because his attitude had changed.

Keep working on getting your ducks in a row. Then you can tell him to take his partial truths and stick em where the sun don't shine.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8089 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Sleepy312
♀ Member
Member # 38360
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's like a never ending boil on my butt or something with him. He's gone for the night, and all I feel is freedom but dread of him coming back tomorrow.

This is clearly not a healthy place for me, but I need to finish unpacking from the move and make this situation right for me.

I also think he's taken all of his actions to his work email. All of a sudden after I confronted him about his actions his gmail is DEAD, and he's much more cautious of his phone. I will try to get a look at his computer this weekend. I know he's not in contact with old affair. Other actions are questionable.


Me 41
Dh 40
Married 11...he forgot our anniversary among other things. Every birthday, holdiay, whatever is forever ruined.

Together 17 years
Two great kids.

He doesn't get it. Moving us to his hometown with his toxic mother is going to


Posts: 507 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Nj
Topic Posts: 7

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