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User Topic: Almost a year since D-Day
angelfire13
♀ New Member
Member # 37464
Frustrated  Posted: 10:12 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So we are approaching November. November 9, 2012 is the day I found out. My husband has been gone for work for about 3 weeks now and I'm freaking out more and more every day. I found myself on her FB page today. All I can see is her picture. It makes me so angry and I was desperately looking for someone to talk me out of messaging her. I just want to know why she thought it was okay to sleep with a married man. To get involved with a married man. Who does that??? I don't understand it. I also don't know if I can be with someone who could do something like this to me. We've been trying...I think. It's not as much as I want but I'm trying to be respectful of where he is. I just feel so hurt...and angry. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to...but it still hurts. And he's not here which makes it worse. I've thought about emailing her for almost a year now. Logically I know it won't really accomplish anything. But I just want to know.

Sorry for this rambling post. I have so many thoughts running through my head and I don't know what to do with them.


Me: 34
WH: 35
Married 11 years. Together 13 years
DDAY: 11/9/2012
Kids: 2 (DD: 6 DS: 2)
EA during deployment with DoS Rep.


"The only way out is through" ~ Fritz Perls


Posts: 10 | Registered: Nov 2012
strongerdaybyday
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

angelfire - don't email her. don't give her the satisfaction of her knowing that a year later she STILL has any power of you. Write a letter to her and burn it, go for a run (or other exercise) hit something and pretend it's her...anything to not email her. She won't care and even if she did, any response she gave won't make you feel better.

AND stop going on FB. I was obsessed with her FB page until someone on SI said "Imagine she were notified everytime you looked at her page" and for me, that worked. On FB nobody posts their pain, she of course is going to post happy smiling pics but, she could be miserable too.

I just want to know why she thought it was okay to sleep with a married man. To get involved with a married man. Who does that???

Idk. In my case, the OW was a broken, pathetic woman who thought she could "replace" me. But the second she showed her cards my H realized who/what she was and RAN. She tried (even after he left her) and tried and tried to be with him. And became a vindictive bitch when her attempts failed.


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 384 | Registered: Aug 2013
sodamnlost
♀ Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why not write out what you want to say - unfiltered and unsenored. Don't send it to her though - she's not even worth the digital ink that is free. Post it here. Burn it. Have WH read it. Rip it up into tiny shreds and throw it in the air. Stomp on it. Flush it down the toilet (after you've used bathroom for added effect).

(((((Hugs))))


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
angelfire13
♀ New Member
Member # 37464
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, October 29th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys! I definitely was ready to write to her. Why do I get on her FB page?? Why do I do that to myself?

I think I'm freaking out lately because WH is gone and we aren't where I would like us to be. I feel like he's only doing the bare minimum and I want big gestures. How can I learn to respect where he is in the process and not sell myself short in the meantime? I've woken up to what I want out of a relationship and he's not giving it to me. I can see certain changes he's made. But then he does something stupid like not sending me anything on my birthday this last Saturday. He says he didn't have an opportunity since he's working, but to me it just seems like he refused to make the extra effort. I keep going back and forth as to whether I even want to do this anymore. Can I be with someone who could do this???


Me: 34
WH: 35
Married 11 years. Together 13 years
DDAY: 11/9/2012
Kids: 2 (DD: 6 DS: 2)
EA during deployment with DoS Rep.


"The only way out is through" ~ Fritz Perls


Posts: 10 | Registered: Nov 2012
sodamnlost
♀ Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How can I learn to respect where he is in the process and not sell myself short in the meantime? I've woken up to what I want out of a relationship and he's not giving it to me.

I hit this point about 5-6 months out from first Dday. I held on, trying to patient. I filed in September - this was one reason. Well, truthfully where he was in the process was denial and that wasn't working for me anymore.

Does he know how you feel?


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 769 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
Topic Posts: 5

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