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User Topic: Mothering a pre-teen daughter (T.M.I. alert!)
stroppy_wanadoo
♀ Member
Member # 11224
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My almost 12 year old baby girl got her period last night. She came and whispered it quietly to me. She's mortified to talk about it, as expected, and I'm equally as uncomfortable though trying to pull it off as "no big thing." Night one of bulky pads was - errr - eventful. She was incredibly worried about going to school today.

I'm not ready for this! Nobody gave me this roadmap! I want her to stay a fourth grader forever (though she's already two years past that, in sixth grade).

Feeling sad that she's growing up so quickly.


Posts: 1020 | Registered: Jul 2006
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Stroppy)))

I hear you. My DD is 12, too. We talked about it over the summer since it will probably start soon. Not a fun conversation. I told her if she had a question, but was embarrassed to ask, then to leave me a note. Then I will write the answer back. Her response was priceless. "So I just have to put up with it?" Um yes honey. There isn't an opt out option.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 12:37 PM, October 28th (Monday)]


Posts: 34685 | Registered: Mar 2011
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go to the store and get her some super THIN pads. They are very absorbent and not at all bulky.

I remember looking at my dd and said something like "I don't know what to do, but I feel like giving you a hug" We hugged and chuckled.


Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 6252 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go to the store and get her some super THIN pads. They are very absorbent and not at all bulky.
Ditto this!
Pads have come a looooong way since I was a young teen. Its no longer akin to wearing a diaper. They're so thin now that you almost don't know they're there!

Hugs to you both- time really does fly, doesn't it?


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - R looks possible..

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6358 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have been on 'period-watch' for a year at my house. Each month I am so sure my DD (12) is going to be there too but nothing yet.

We practiced ahead of time. Not on purpose, but I had stocked her backpack just incase she was at school the first time, etc. She asked if she could try a pad on. So she did and announced "This isn't so bad". I said "Ohhh just wait honey!"

Someone on here had a demonstration to help their DD be less worried about leaks. Anyone remember that? They had laid out different types of feminine products and used water to show how much they absorb, etc?

It is hard because they are shy about questions and sometimes what we THINK they might want to ask....isn't it at all. I ended up getting my DD the American Girl book about her body. She spent a lot of time privately reading it.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2056 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go to the store and get her some super THIN pads.

I would get an assortment of different ones, so she can determine which ones feel most comfortable for her.


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13722 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
MrsDoubtfire
♀ Member
Member # 24786
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I remember this with my DD.

My mom told me to always be prepared so I had bought some thin ones beforehand and always left a couple in her bag just in case.

When she started she laughed then cried!

Get her some really thin ones and just be there for her as it is such a big thing to start off with.

I also remember the day DD asked if she could wear tampons and I had bought her the super slim ones and talked to her about them and said the first couple of times to take it out after half hour or so (as it definitely feels odd until you are brave enough to insert them properly- sorry if TMI) and after about 3 months of periods she decided they were easier then pads.

It is a funny time for you too as you see that your baby is growing up and it's 'weird'!

Good luck


BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†

Posts: 1571 | Registered: Jul 2009
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We've been talking about this for years, just waiting for the day. Bought thin pads in advance. Let her pick out a pretty "make up bag" to keep in her desk that will hold her supplies. Have talked to her teachers about this so she knows she can go to them if it starts at school. Have covered every possible angle. We're just waiting for the day.

Had fun doing a demonstration with how much water these things would absorb. It's shocking how much!!! I got all the kids involved, yes, even the boy. We made it a science experiment in the kitchen & had lots of laughs. I want to demystify the whole thing, make it not shameful as much as possible.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9512 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Kalleigh
Member
Member # 1214
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my daugher 14 likes the Always in the green box, the yellow ones..


I love my husband and kids, but there is something missing, LIKE MAYBE A LIFE!!!!!!!

Posts: 6502 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: Wisconsin
stroppy_wanadoo
♀ Member
Member # 11224
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew there would be many here that could commiserate!

I had attempted to talk to my daughter about this over the summer after her pediatrician at the annual check-up told us we could probably expect it within the year. She wanted nothing to do with the conversation, and kept putting the American Girl book I bought her back in my room on my nightstand, unread. I did make her take a little makeup bag of supplies to keep in her locker at school.

Her problems came overnight from sleeping on her back... and things kind of drain funny in that position. So we ended up with two pads overnight - one up the back of her underwear. She doesn't want to try tampons yet. I do have several kinds of pads for her to try.

Why does this frighten me so much?! I know I survived just fine, and I wasn't afraid for myself when it happened! But I just want to cry for my daughter (who just called and said she is home from school, and her day was fine - thank goodness!)


Posts: 1020 | Registered: Jul 2006
Tripletrouble
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DD is about a year in. I buy her the stuff marketed to teens.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 633 | Registered: May 2013
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why does this scare you?

Because:

a) it's proof positive your little girl is becoming a young woman.

and

b)
wait for it

wait for it

you are now entering the gates of Hell. Be prepared for the moodiness and eye-rolling and being treated like you are the dumbest person on earth.

{{{hugs Stroppy. Welcome to the Club}}}}

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6515 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Tripletrouble
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^^^^^ lord have mercy yes!!! My sweet as pie girl turns mean as sin when she has PMS!!!!


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 633 | Registered: May 2013
PricklePatch
♀ Member
Member # 34041
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine uses the noted for teens. We also called and and asked noted questions she felt reassured.


BS
Fwh
sorry post on my tablet

Posts: 285 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: pricklepatch
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could never get comfortable with tampons.

I am a big fan of the Stayfree Ultra Thin products - I exclusively use the "Overnight with Wings" pads and never had any "incidents". Those particular ones may be too big to comfortable fit young girl underwear, but they also have regular ones that are very absorbent but not as long. They are super thin and don't feel like you are wearing one at all.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2216 | Registered: Feb 2010
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Double post.

[This message edited by Whalers11 at 7:42 PM, October 28th (Monday)]


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2216 | Registered: Feb 2010
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

you are now entering the gates of Hell.


Posts: 34685 | Registered: Mar 2011
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also get her a book for teens about maturation. Leave it lying around and she WILL read it.


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2643 | Registered: Jan 2010
Losttransport
♀ Member
Member # 39409
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We made it very casual at our home about periods. We have three daughters, and I started talking with each of them when they were about 10, and we talk about cycles regularly: problems they may have, products that work, more importantly, products that don't! But it isn't just me, my hubby buys their pads for them, tells them if they need a guy's perspective that he will talk to them too. My girls just say, "Tom is here now," : Time Of Month!!


Me: BS-42
Hubby: FWS-42
OW: former friend of mine
EA from ? to 3-15-12
3 DD, 1 DS
Time heals all wounds-I do not agree.

Posts: 93 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Texas
kickboxer
♀ Member
Member # 39858
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ten year old daughter wears an insulin pump, and one of the side effects of insulin can be early onset puberty. I've noticed some subtle changes, and her well-visit confirmed my suspicions that "things" are happening.

Anyway, I wanted to talk to her about her body without worrying about her little sisters busting in or her walking into the living room and feeling embarrassed with her dad sitting there...so I took her to a hotel for the night. We ate chocolate cake and watched a movie. I brought along the American Girl book and we read through some sections together. The next morning, we slept in and hit the free breakfast...then we stayed in our room until the last possible minute before we had to check out.

As we were packing up, I told her that the world would tell her many things about her body -- how to dress it, move it, use it, who to let touch it, what it "should" look like...but I wanted her to know that I will always tell her the truth. No matter how confused she feels, she can come to me with anything and we'll figure it out together.

She gave me a little hug and got up to check under the bed...

Then she stood right in front of me, and stared me in the eye.

She said, "You said you'd always tell me the truth, right?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Is Santa real?"

Sigh.

She's still my little girl...and she knows the truth about Santa now.


BW - 42 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 13 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.

Posts: 248 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere Out There
Topic Posts: 34
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