Together 15 years, married 7, 1 child, age 7.
WH: 37 y.o., EA/PA since March
OW: 25, 1 child (not WH's)
Me: 34, BS
Separated Nov. 16, 2013
Filing for divorce: Jan. 27, 2014
Not responding to her very rude, disgusting message was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Every cell in my body screamed to tell her exactly what I thought of her, but that's what she wants I guess. After a day I decided to look at this as a good thing, confirmation that WH is not contacting her at all now.
He promised to talk with her about it immediately
Your WH should most certainly NOT be talking to her ever again.
There should be no more contact with her, by either of you. Crickets.
Indifference is a very strong message.
Block her on whatever medium she contacted you on.
[This message edited by mchercheur at 5:52 AM, October 24th (Thursday)]
Lay down some ground rules. If OW is still working with him, he is to go NC in every way possible. If he does have necessary contact or conversation with her, it is only about work, nothing else. No idle chit chat niceties. He is to write a letter to that effect.
Secondly, he is to be an open book and you should be able to contact him any time you want or need to. Any time. You should be more important than his job right now.
He should be with you physically as much as possible if you are not already under the same roof. Go over your finances and see what’s available to cut back on.
Change your phone numbers. Both of you. In the NC letter he must tell her she is NOT to contact you either. That all attempts at contact will be recorded and he will apply for a restraining order if she doesn’t stop. He tells her it is OVER, he loves his wife and family and is not going to jeopardise things any more than he already has done.
She is doing this to get a response from him. Don't give her the satisfaction that she has got to you.
WH should not be responding either, in any way. Why would he communicate with a person who hurt your family so deeply? Ignore OW until she goes away. Block every avenue of connection. Protect your marriage from this immoral, weak, desperate person.
Is WH in counseling? He needs to fix the damage that allowed him to lie, deceive and break his vows.
As for what OW said, that's complete rubbish. If WH was truly unhappy, it was his job to do something about it! Each person is responsible for their own happiness. He could have given more to the marriage, taken up a new hobby, read books about how to be a more fulfilled person, gone to a therapist etc.
Instead, he threw away his integrity and values with a messed-up OW. He risked the most important people in his life and became an adulterer. Not exactly a recipe for happiness!
You can deactivate that account as well. You can always reactivate it later, when things settle down. You need to go dark from both of them except for the phone so he can call your daughter.
She got everything she wants, so why contact you? Because she is an F-ing bully. Unbelievable!!!! THIS is what will eventually make you mad. It will come, and it will be a GOOD thing.
Go dark. I know it's hard, but you must.
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
You need to go NC with both of them. Can you block her?
what a f*@king b#*ch!
Go see a lawyer and file now!
You need to start painting her in the negative light so you can legally if possible keep her from being around your child!
haha...I can guarantee you one thing...people ONLY target other people when they themselves are filled with dread and fear. I would be willing to bet there is more than ONE other woman...and OW1 is now getting a bitter taste of OW2....or....he is pining away for you and she knows it.
Enjoy the knowledge that SHE is miserable....and then set your sights on building yourself a great future! Maybe a new job or go to college...start a business...AND NEVER EVER EVER EVEN THINK ABOUT whats his name you used to trust before finding out he is a useless liar and evil manipulator.
KARMA IS AWESOME!!!
Mom, you shouldn't be talking to your WS if he is living with the OW. All you are doing is feeding the Drama Llamas.
Block both him and her. All inquiries go through a lawyer or are emailed so you have a record of what was said. And if I was you I'd save the email the OW sent you to start building a case against her for harassment.
How High Schoolish of her. What....is she 16?
And gold stars to you for getting the job!!! See? You CAN do it! Well done girl.
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson