I'm glad to hear that it went well for you & that you felt in control of the situation. Basically you just need to remember you are in control. Do what you need and only what you want.
Sex can absolutely help in the healing process. And I encourage you to communicate with him about triggers and hopefully he can help you avoid those for now and eventually help you overcome them in the future!
I want to shake off the feeling I have sometimes where I just feel irritated - irritated that he isn't reading my mind, irritated that he might be behaving normally at times like nothing is wrong (usually when we are around other people), irritated that life feels difficult at the moment - so I guess I just wait until the time feels right like it did last time. No rush.