His last email finalizing date/time ended with this
the important thing is of course the pleasure of your company, and x stories.
Yes, I am paranoid and untrusting. This is a former work colleague, H was friends with her first husband, she tried hard to get H to interview at her firm. The lack of disclosure says enough to me.
Stuck with an asshole.
Sounds like she's fishing and he's taking the bait, especially as he hasn't told you, you found out. Certainly wouldn't be happy with the way he signed off.
If you know when and where they plan to meet I would so love you to just turn up and see his face. But maybe that's just me with the old bitch boots on..
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months
In MC & Reconciling
Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time. ; )
Otherwise - NO, this is not appropriate at all!
He works an hour away. There's no way I can just show up.
You know he's lying to you. So, you close your eyes and let him go, or you pull up your boots and set the parameters of your marriage. NOW.
You have spyware why?! Oh, because he's a liar, and you do not trust him.
She's setting up her next gig, and its him.
You're own tag line tells you.
"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies!
In the meantime go see a lawyer. He is definitely crossing a line, and you know it.
You set up the spyware knowing that you might find something like this. You mind (maybe subconsciously?) has been working out the scenarios and possible outcomes since you decided to install it. Maybe it's time to confront? Is there a way to confront without admitting to the spyware? You knew this was coming. What is the next step?
If he doesn't..........you could phone him when you think he is at lunch, to see if he answers. If he does, and tells you exactly where he is and with whom, you should plan to have a discussion on boundaries.
If he doesn't........I think it is time to confront. just NEVER tell how you found out. He may think someone you know saw them.
Hope it doesn't come to this.
I'm over it. I think it's time for him to be sent out with the trash.
That's your tagline. What's keeping you from following through? (That's a question, not a challenge.)
Given your tagline, though, and given your expectation that your H will lie, what's keeping you from taking action to protect yourself from his lies?
[This message edited by sisoon at 3:33 PM, October 21st (Monday)]
the important thing is of course the pleasure of your company,
if my husband said/wrote anything like this my decision would be crystal clear. Married men don't say things like that to other women....
4 kiddos in lower 20's
“He has no idea how beautiful the ordinary becomes once it disappears."
If it's a transport problem I would beg, borrow or steal a car or a lift to get there. If it was 5 minutes round the corner your H would still be surprised to see you, and would know it was not just coincidence that you turn up at the same time and place as him.
So if t'was me that's what I'd do. But first have a very clear conversation with your H about boundaries and where you think they should be drawn, so that he can't turn round later and fob you off with "she was only a friend, didn't think you'd mind, not planning more than a friendly lunch etc etc."
I would ask a question that would open the door for him to mention the lunch. If it is "innocent", he should tell you.
I would open the door for him to tell you with something innocent. If he doesn't, unleash hell.
Prostitutes, ONSs, and one 7-month LTA (total time: 2 years). Have lost count of OPs, probably 12 or so. LTA was by far most damaging.
DDay 1: Aug 20, 2013
DDay 2: Aug 22, 2013
Whole truth: Sept 10, 2013