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User Topic: Pissed off! WHs first counseling appt
♀ Member
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Do some wayward spouses really believe it is no "big deal"?

Or are they just trying to minimize their accountability?

End t/j

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

Posts: 1889 | Registered: Apr 2012
♀ Member
Member # 6687
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, October 19th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know the old joke about how stupid parents are when the child is a teenager, then as the child becomes an adult they are surprised at how much smarter their parents have become?

I picture new, foggy WS and their counselors in the same light. It's surprising, isn't it, how much the IC of a new WS sounds JUST LIKE a foggy WS themselves, if the second-hand reports of the WS is to be believed? Isn't it surprising that when no one else is around, the IC of a foggy WS just sits there validating all the victimization, all the petty and imagined gripes, all the warped justification for having an affair? According to the WS's recount of the session, they hardly sound like an IC at all, since they essentially just join the WS in bashing or blaming the BS, and back up each asinine illogical statement and each entitled, self-destructive instinct?

And then, in my experience, if my own FWS is anything to gauge by, as the WS comes out of the fog, that same IC that was supposedly just backing up their every warped thought, suddenly starts sounding like someone who is actually trying to help and nudge and guide and get to the root of the self-destructive behavior.

I don't know in my case if FWS's IC was actually just nodding along in the first few sessions, just to get to know who FWS was, or if the IC was saying the right things, but FWS was listening with wayward hearing and translating everything through the "normal-to-WS" translator? I still don't know. But as WS came out of his fog, the stories of his IC sessions seemed to be getting more realistic. Turns out, his IC didn't think FWS "should just hold back parts of the affair, for circe's own good" after all.

Sorry, didn't mean to make that about me except to say that I can relate to the IC ridiculousness, and unless you did get a Dick of a therapist in nature as well as name, then it seems like a barometer of what your foggy, foggy WS is thinking.

Posts: 3193 | Registered: Mar 2005
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