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Newest Member: Devestated1976 (45450)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Should I ask the suspected MOw whats been going on?
IndianDreams
♀ New Member
Member # 40991
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've seen texts between my WS and another woman from the village and it's clear he was pursuing her BUT what I don't know is how far it went, if she reciprocated or if they are together now.
The not knowing the facts is driving me insane but my question is if she tells me something I don't want to hear will it make it worse or will I heal quicker once I've got over the initial pain?


It wasn't my fault; my bucket was broken
NC = no new hurts

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: England
SoVerySadNow
♀ Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd wait. Alerting them that you know might drive it underground and then it will take longer for you to catch them. Gather your evidence, keep your eyes open- but don't let on about anything you suspect.
I'm sorry- its a difficult time- the not knowing eats at you. Be strong, we're here to talk to.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
hardtimesinlife
♀ Member
Member # 10468
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW's tend to lie. Depending on what they have to lose or gain, you can never trust what they have to say. I'd just wait and gather evidence.

Hugs


Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

Posts: 6146 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Florida
IndianDreams
♀ New Member
Member # 40991
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He knows I know about the texts and went through the whole 'we're just friends' bollox. I don't know if she even knows who I am


It wasn't my fault; my bucket was broken
NC = no new hurts

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: England
lynnm1947
♀ Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he already knows that you know, and only if she is obviously flirting with him, perhaps rather than asking the OW anything, you should ask OW's husband if he knows anything. Don't tell your husband that you will do this, however, because he will contact OW and they'll make a shared story wherein they are just friends/etc. Grab screen shots of the conversations as proof.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7306 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
IndianDreams
♀ New Member
Member # 40991
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MOw doesn't have a husband, which makes me wonder if WS has told her we split up (before we actually did) because I know for a fact he was texting. ringing, & visiting her before I dumped him


It wasn't my fault; my bucket was broken
NC = no new hurts

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: England
IndianDreams
♀ New Member
Member # 40991
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and it appeared to be him doing the chasing, she didn't give much away by text but I know for a fact he was going round to her house and they were seen out at a local supermarket together. But I have no idea if they were 'together' or if they were (in her eyes) just 'friends'. It's obvious from the texts that I saw that he was coming on to her but I have no idea if it ever went anywhere or if they are together now


It wasn't my fault; my bucket was broken
NC = no new hurts

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: England
lynnm1947
♀ Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry. In another of your posts you called her MOW, which here means "married" other woman.

[This message edited by lynnm1947 at 3:05 PM, October 18th (Friday)]


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7306 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
IndianDreams
♀ New Member
Member # 40991
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, October 18th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my apologies, I'm confused by the abbreviations. In my post title I used MOw, which I thought meant 'maybe other woman'

[This message edited by IndianDreams at 4:13 PM, October 18th (Friday)]


It wasn't my fault; my bucket was broken
NC = no new hurts

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: England
Topic Posts: 9

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