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User Topic: Dr. Laura fans ??
ionlytalkedtoher
♀ Member
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does anyone on here watch/read/listen to dr. Laura ??

In my early marriage life I read her books about being a good wife etc...I think there is something to it...but since my H's affairs etc almost everything she writes or has on her website upsets me anymore. Today in my inbox I got this article and I am like WTC??? The article is about a woman who lets her husband watch porn and how its good for their marriage--ok fine if that's what you want...but the part that just irks me is that she says that the women who don't like their husbands watching porn are just jealous and they actually create the problems in the marriage if they complain about their husbands needs. Ok ummmm I disagree.

care to discuss this??

last week her article also upset me when it was about the topic of "being proud of your husbands". I used to be proud...but sometimes his actions do actually embarrass me when it concerns the pursuit of OW. So i was down for several days about this. I want to be proud of him but how can you be when he has lied and betrayed me so many times. I forgive him and accept him but you know, things are just different now...until he earns back that respect and trust.

there have other articles too that upset me... I just try to not read her anymore.


http://www.drlaura.com/b/Do-Some-Research-With-Your-Husband/-980058142108963907.html?utm_campaign=1011do-research-with-husband&utm_medium=letter&utm_source=email&utm_content=10.14.13&utm_term=link


Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2013
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have never liked her. Ever. I think she is a horrible, awful person.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6306 | Registered: Jan 2011
ionlytalkedtoher
♀ Member
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

where is the laughing hyserical smiley--too funny.

yeah sometimes \i think she is bit out there


Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2013
Kelany
♀ Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unsubscribe from the emails.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
heartache101
♀ Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The world is full of different beliefs they are like assholes we all have one
I believe in some marriages were infidelity hasnt been an issue porn might work but when infidelity touches the marriage the whole dynamics of that marriage changes.
We could use more church and religious beliefs and less sex and porn in this world. JMO!
I never cared for Ms. Lauras opinions!


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3184 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
ionlytalkedtoher
♀ Member
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

well she presents herself as a very religious person...I think she is jewish. Which is why \i am so upset. I don't see how anyone can present themselves in a religious light and say that porn is OK.

But it wasn't that she said porn was ok--it was that those who DON'T like their H's viewing it are actually CAUSING all the problems in the marriage since the man has ego needs. "Those who won't let their H's view porn are taking a baseball bat to their H's ego's...." ummm what about the woman's ego's???

you are right I NEED to unsubscribe to her like yesterday.

[This message edited by ionlytalkedtoher at 11:22 AM, October 17th (Thursday)]


Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2013
wert
♂ Member
Member # 34478
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have never liked her. Ever. I think she is a horrible, awful person.

You consistently make me laugh rebreather.

ionlytalkedtoher -

Dr laura is harmful to a persons soul. IMO she teaches manipulation and 'techniques' not honest communication and truth through actions. In short, she is a quack and full of shit.

Do yourself a favor and stop listening to her...

Alternatives?

Gottman- anything he has written

Not Just Friends - for the A stuff

Self improvement - Act with Love and anything by Brene Brown - if you are a video watcher...try her Ted Talk on vulnerability.

take care...



Posts: 1414 | Registered: Jan 2012
roses303
♀ Member
Member # 40161
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Want a good laugh. OW sent me a copy of Dr. Laura's The Care and Keeping of Husbands right before or it may have been during the first affair with WH. She insisted it was the best thing that ever happened to her marriage and wanted me to read it so I could have the same loving marraige she and her husband have.

I had to give it away after the chapter where she blamed the wife for her husband's leaving her because she selfishly went away to take care of her dying mother and neglected her husband.


Me: BW - 46
Him: WH - 49
MOW: my BFF from college and good friend for 25 yrs
Married 14 years, 2 Tweens
DD: 5/20/13 2 year long EA/PAs (one 7 yrs ago and one this past year)
Status: day by day, in MC, working on R

Posts: 141 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: roses303
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh boy...A Dr. Laura thread:


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 29 years, Happily Reconciled

Posts: 5622 | Registered: Aug 2007
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@ Harden.

I read somewhere where she put shrimp shells and dead fish in a curtain rod once.

Leaving...yes, I'm leaving.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
ionlytalkedtoher
♀ Member
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh my gosh--never heard that about the dying mom? and oh my I am lauging now. Gonna go get some popcorn. Ok I guess I am the only dumb one that used to like her...lol.

what the heck is the story about a curtain rod and shells?? why would she do that?? oh my!


Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2013
ReunitePangea
♂ Member
Member # 37529
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have never liked her. Ever. I think she is a horrible, awful person.

I agree.

Dan Savage probably will provde you better marriage advice compared to Dr. Laura.


BS - Me 38
WS - Wife 39
D-Day - Oct 12
Married 10 years
OM1 - 12-year LTA
OM2 - 9 month A turned into open relationship with couple for another 1 1/2 years

Posts: 448 | Registered: Nov 2012
1ost0ne
♂ Member
Member # 40202
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Harden that is hilarious.

If you want 2 minutes of advice, I guess she's fine. I wonder what most MC and ICs would say if 120 seconds.

I listened to one of her calls with a BS that found out about an affair 10 years later. It was over and the WW was an otherwise loyal wife. She told the BS to "man up and get over it." She came back and he did not noticed when the affair was going on.


“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
― Maya Angelou

Posts: 83 | Registered: Aug 2013
BeyondBreaking
♀ Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know, my first thought when reading that article was anger and annoyance. Porn has been ABSOLUTELY nothing but disruptive and destructive to my marriage and to hear light hearted advice about "it's just research" makes me want to punch that woman in the throat.

But then, I thought about it some more. I have NEVER had a serious problem with porn in a relationship. Because...it hasn't been a problem in a relationship. If I am getting laid 6 times per week and H watches some porn because I'm not home every second of the day, or because waking me up in the middle of the night three times when I have to work early is freaking rude- fine. Porn became a problem when H- all on his own- decided to go a step further and actually converse with other women and sext with them. When you are participating and sending pictures of yourself and talking to people- real people from the internet who live in the area- that is no longer "just" porn. He decided to watch porn instead of having sex with me- he watched porn and then would be too tired or out of energy for sex later. THAT was when porn became a problem.

It is hard to tailor advice to fit for everyone. In normal, healthy marriages in which the couple is having sex, infidelity has NOT been a previous issue, and porn isn't something that either of the partners have a huge adversion to- this advice might work out well. In my marriage, there are different circumstances, so this advice doesn't fit.

Unsuscribe to the e-mails since her advice doesn't fit with your values and your marriage.


I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."


Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dr. Laura... Isn't that the lady who helped break up her current husband's first marriage? According to wikipedia (who uses the words "affair" and "infidelity" far less than I would wish when calling people out), he was a married father of three children, and he left his family to begin living with her.

Had she been remorseful, I might ponder her advice. But she hasn't been even remotely, and her poor advice reflects that.


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
"Not my monkeys. Not my circus." ~Polish proverb (<~~~ as a codependent person, this comes in handy sometimes!)

Posts: 3880 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, she is a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6306 | Registered: Jan 2011
TrulySad
♀ Member
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To be a fan of Dr. Laura is equivalent to being a fan of ignorance.

IMHO...


Me: Done with his bullshit and getting stronger day by day

Posts: 423 | Registered: Jun 2013
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'll take "Who's more qualified to give infidelity advice than Dr Laura" for $1000 Alex.


Who is Dr Scholl, Dr Dre and Dr Pepper.


Not a fan.


[This message edited by unfound at 2:41 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14808 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
StrongerOne
♀ Member
Member # 36915
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She's not Jewish. Her father was Jewish, but her mother was Catholic. She does not seem to have been brought up practicing Judaism, either. So, not Jewish.

Just wanted to be sure that no one connected her viewpoint (I'm trying to be nice!) with Judaism in any way!


DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

Posts: 840 | Registered: Sep 2012
ReunitePangea
♂ Member
Member # 37529
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll take "Who's more qualified to give infidelity advice than Dr Laura" for $1000 Alex.


......Doctor Suess, Dr Watson, and the guy who stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.


BS - Me 38
WS - Wife 39
D-Day - Oct 12
Married 10 years
OM1 - 12-year LTA
OM2 - 9 month A turned into open relationship with couple for another 1 1/2 years

Posts: 448 | Registered: Nov 2012
Topic Posts: 74
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