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Newest Member: LadyS (45361)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Mediation was a Bust...Pretrial Today
Elaine2012
♀ Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Eight hours of mediation which only figured out what is legally already determined I'm sitting outside the courthouse right now waiting to see what today brings! Mojo please


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 287 | Registered: Jul 2012
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mojo, Baby!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending mojo


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; theyíll scratch you up time and time again but in the end youíre polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52676 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chin up Elaine! You've got this! Mojo!!


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5525 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MOJO !!!!


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20383 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
NewMom0220
♀ Member
Member # 39036
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Major Mojo coming your way.


Me: BS 36
Him: WS 37
14 month old DS
Married 5 years, together 8, DIVORCING!!! (taking forever)
DDay: 3/1/13 (4 Month PA while I was pregnant)
Sometimes all you have to do is forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.

Posts: 374 | Registered: Apr 2013
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending mojo STAT!!!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2271 | Registered: Oct 2012
Elaine2012
♀ Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is being so unreasonable. Spousal Maintenance is now 1300 less than the mediator set last week came up with last week. It's nit picky stuff all the way.

This judge is making us stay until 4:30 to see what we can make happen. Well nothing if he is offering such an unreasonable amount. I've made so many concession that I'm done and want to just go to trial.


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 287 | Registered: Jul 2012
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How did it pan out Elaine... update?


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4133 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
LifeIsBroken
♀ Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel for you, Elaine. Amazing what damage the cheater spouse will create after so many years of M and family. One would think the cheaters would have at least a little remorse for tearing up their family but.... they don't. I really think divorce laws should revert to what they were years ago: the cheater pays for what they've torn up. No 50/50. Assess the damage according to the damage created. Maybe people would think twice if they realized they could lose everything. But, one could also suggest they're already losing everything because they leave their families and don't look back. You would think it would mean more than that. Wondering what happened this afternoon..... were you able to come to some kind of agreement where he actually gives you more of what you've earned during so many years of your marriage ?


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 510 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
Elaine2012
♀ Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the mojo and encouragement!

Three hours in court and he upped his offer by a few hundred dollars. And the offer was only good today. My L said she canít decide in 20 min if she can live with this. So now ENE, mediation and pretrial for a total of 13 hours and this is all I have to show for it. The division of property has been decided, except he keeps spending money to ďfixĒ the house and he wants to leave me on the hook for that as well. And the retirement has been decided although Iím not completely sure if I agree with that either.

I have an appointment tomorrow with a financial planner to see if I can get by on my budget. The other thing they did was take things out of my budget and said they were unreasonable. One thing is my tithing Iíve paid tithing for years and feel that is one of the expenses that I wonít compromise on. The other was some CC debt and a student loan that is my DD that I cosigned on and I make payments on.

I feel like Iíve been railroaded along the whole way. Iím tired and just want to give up. I donít have the money to keep spending on L fees. I would like to be able to move on with my life.


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 287 | Registered: Jul 2012
Elaine2012
♀ Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LifeIsBroken
I really think divorce laws should revert to what they were years ago: the cheater pays for what they've torn up. No 50/50. Assess the damage according to the damage created. Maybe people would think twice if they realized they could lose everything. But, one could also suggest they're already losing everything because they leave their families and don't look back.

I've had this thought then I wonder if this is how he ended up would I really want to be in a relationship with him just because he didn't want to loose everything financially.

It's so true he has lost the family that we were. Three of my DD's won't speak to him. He now had no relationship with my grandkids. And he hasn't looked back. His loss.


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 287 | Registered: Jul 2012
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Elaine, I hope to heck you don't just give in. I know you are tired, but you need to get what you deserve, and what you need. Don't let him railroad you.

Hope things are brighter today.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5525 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 13

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