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User Topic: Growing Anger
inshockandhurt
♀ Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 2:30 AM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am eight months out. Lately I have flipped from sad to angry to sort of ok. But I noticed that when I am in the anger stage I am more angry than I have been, or maybe it just seems that way. I feel like I need to scream. Just when I think I am feeling better again something triggers me and I get dragged back under again. Things seemed easier even just a month ago. Maybe it is because it is affair season, or maybe because I am in the last month of pregnancy and getting tired. I don't know. My son is also three years old and screams at everything I say so maybe this is just contributing to my frustration? I just feel icky all the time. I am trying to do the stuff the books tell me and challenge my thoughts, and do thought stopping and all the suggestions I have gotten from all of you on here but it just seems like it's one trigger after another, and I feel so sad and angry. Any thoughts? Is this normal? I kind of thought by eight months I would be less angry, not more.


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
Both were with friends of mine
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."


Posts: 278 | Registered: Mar 2013
Raven96
♀ Member
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm almost 6 months out, and I'm in the same boat. I keep reading on here that it takes 2-5 years to get to a point where you "feel" healed. Being 8 months out...it is still very fresh.

One day I'm okay, the next I can't even stand to picture his face in my mind, and the next I want to leave. I keep thinking I'm losing my mind, and then I read posts on here and get encouraged that I'm normal. I hope you are posting and reading often, too. You need this.

I'm don't know if you're doing IC or MC, but that works wonders, too. With a little one and one on the way, it may be tough to get there, but you have to find a way...for your own sanity.

Please know that your emotions are completely normal. Eight months out might as well be the same as eight seconds!!!

(((inshockandhurt)))


Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A lot of us go through a rage stage around 6 months out. Some of us also go through more rage at about a year.

So I suspect you're either a little slow or a little fast.

Being betrayed evokes lots of feelings, and it takes lots of time for them to come to the surface. I bet that's what's happening. This is almost definitely a sign you're going through the healing process, not a sign of trouble.


fBH (me) - 65+, fWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9757 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Andthencraigslis
♀ New Member
Member # 40246
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sweetheart if you are in the last month of pregnancy cut yourself some slack. I could have chewed my family out over being five minutes late to bed at that stage. Turn your focus inward and take care of you. I would put the affair/marriage books down for awhile, find some things that relax you, pamper yourself, try and find a sitter for your son once in while, just take some time for yourself.

Posts: 43 | Registered: Aug 2013
inshockandhurt
♀ Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am trying so hard to relax and not worry so much, but it seems that the more I try the worse it gets. I wonder if maybe I am just going about it the wrong way. I don't know, I just feel so negative all the time now and sad and sometimes when I am laying there wide awake at night I have this terrible urge to slap my husband or shove him off the bed.


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
Both were with friends of mine
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."


Posts: 278 | Registered: Mar 2013
Topic Posts: 5

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