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User Topic: Feeling guilty
Tawnie
♀ New Member
Member # 40886
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today marked my 17th wedding anniversary. My H started the day out by wishing me a happy anniversary and all I said was good morning. I just can't celebrate something with him that for all of our marriage he disregarded. I feel that he never took the vows we took on our wedding day seriously!

And my H works on the road so he wasn't home to begin with. He chose to stay out so he could ensure that he would be home next weekend to go to a football game with friends. I just feel that after all he has done he should have wanted to make this day more special, He would try to make it up to me. Just seems all my memories of b-days or anniversarys are of him ruining it for me. He could have picked up his phone and had flowers delivered or something.

So now I sit here and feel guilty cause his feelings are hurt because I chose to spend my day with my kids and didn't call him or text all day. Why should I feel this way at all? He has hurt me so many times that I have pulled away and he is to wrapped up in himself I don't even think he notices.


Posts: 17 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Iowa
emotionalgirl
♀ Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tawnie))). Go into the healing library and read about the 180. I know it is hard and you feel as if you are hurting him but always remember he is hurting you worse with his behaviours and his A's. do something special for yourself tonight and relax.

Think of it this way " he chose to stay out so he could be home next weekend to go to a football game with friends". To me that says it all! Once again he has told you that he and his friends are more important than you and your marriage!

If you want a bit of gratuitous fun? Do what I did, just before he comes home next time buy yourself some flowers and put them on prominent display. When he asks where they came from tell him he bought them for you for your anniversary,but since you can't really depend on him for anything you had to buy them for yourself just like you have to do everything else for yourself! When he says he didn't have time and could get to a store tell him that's why they make phones and credit cards...so that the flower shop can deliver flowers. This always pissed my WH off big time!

Good luck on your journey!


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 373 | Registered: Aug 2013
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 3:50 AM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should not feel guilty. He chose a football game with his buddies over your anniversary. Every bday, anniversary, and valentines day have always been a huge let down for me too. That was a good choice, spending the day with your kids, if that's what you wanted.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 4932 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
20Hopeful16
♀ Member
Member # 40487
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, October 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You should NOT feel guilty! Your reaction is completely understandable, and he has no right to be upset by it.

Do what I did, just before he comes home next time buy yourself some flowers and put them on prominent display. When he asks where they came from tell him he bought them for you for your anniversary,but since you can't really depend on him for anything you had to buy them for yourself just like you have to do everything else for yourself!

I agree. This also (in my case at least) had the added bonus of giving WH pause and ask who did I get the flowers from.


Me: BS (39)
Three Beautiful Children 12,9,5
DD: 8/24/13
Heading for divorce
Moving on with life

Posts: 107 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 4

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