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User Topic: An update..turning the corner, I think
HFSSC
♀ Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2 weeks ago today, at this time, I was taking a shower, washing the blood of 2 young men off my hands, arms and legs.

Two young lives ended that day. The 21 year old died shortly after the wreck that happened less than a mile from my home. His 23 year old brother was released from the hospital Monday, immediately arrested and charged with felony DUI. DUI. At freaking 10am on a Saturday morning.

The last 2 weeks have been so hard for me, JM and our ds14 who witnessed the entire horrible scene. DS is having a hard time sleeping. We talked to him last night about going back to the counselor he saw in 2012. He says he thinks he's going to be okay and wants to just keep talking to me and JM. I told him we'd be watching him and that I might ultimately make the decision for him if I feel he needs it.

I've been having panic attacks while driving. My work commute is about half an hour and most of it is interstate. There is traffic, a good bit of it. And I'm driving like an old lady, gripping the wheel with tears streaming down my face.

Yesterday, on my way in to work, it started to happen and I got pissed. I decided that I was done with that crap and turned on one of my favorite CDs. Cranked it up as loud as it would go. And I took back that territory. I made it home last night without crying.

I'm really feeling much more of the anger now than the shock and sadness. I'm pissed. Pissed that this kid destroyed his life, killed his brother, blew up his family, and changed so many people forever. I'm angry about what was taken from my son, from me and JM.

But I can see the other side, now, as I'm crossing this swamp that life threw me into. And there is so much good. Because we are a family. JM, DS and I are holding together, supporting each other, talking, listening. We're gonna be okay. I'm gonna be okay.

Please keep praying for Nick and his family. Because they're not gonna be okay for a very long time, if ever.


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2654 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HFSSC)))
I am glad to hear you feel you're turning the corner. I hope your DS will continue to talk to you.

Such a waste!

You're whole family is in my thoughts and prayers.


Me: BSO - 45
Him: FWSO - 68
DS - 12
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24336 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HFSSC)))

I'm glad you're turning the corner.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 36571 | Registered: Sep 2007
boontje
♀ Member
Member # 33247
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((HF))))
I'm so happy to hear you are doing better. You are so very strong.


Me: BS
Dday: June 2011
Working on R, one day at a time

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.
― Ernest Hemingway



Posts: 934 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 4

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