Tomorrow is Veterans Day. I wore the uniform for a while. Never used it to advance my status with women. I wore it for what I could do for the colors, not what they could do for me. My wife's AP was the opposite. He used it as a transference of what honorable people did before him to give himself legitimacy. I hate those kind of fuckers. National guard sergeant whose wife paid the bills.
Ditto - AP was Navy. And his uniform was one of the things that my W mentioned in that fateful email on DDay. Cause, you know, all men look good in a uniform. You know those Navy boys - any port in a storm, they say, even my W's honey hole, apparently.
I will say my silent salute to all of the veterans tomorrow, at least, I will include all of those who served with honor and dignity. Except him. I hope he dies on some foreign shore and through some clerical error is forgotten and erased from history.
Side note - I spent a couple hours splitting wood yesterday ol' school style; with an ax. I am sore as all hell today, but I will say that I don't think there are any more therapeutic activities, especially if you have some aggression to get out. Just picture the AP's face on every piece of wood, and you'll never miss. I sure didn't.
[This message edited by ontheslope at 6:02 PM, November 10th (Sunday)]
She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.
You know those Navy boys - any port in a storm
There are no words written in all the world.
I was single then.
No port in any storm, not even the plentiful hookers in every port.
I did it to serve. Yes, I was weird.
Her: WW/56 Me: BS/62, 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11
An odd Latin term to those who haven't worn the Eagle, Globe and Anchor... And yet a phrase that resonates more with me now than it ever has before. While those whom I trusted the most, who I had the most faith in, betrayed me, I held - and still hold - to my ideals.
Happy 238th birthday fellow Devil-Dogs - from an old-corps BS.
D-Day #1: 12 Aug. 2008. WW's 2nd affair w/college teacher.
D-Day #2: 18 June 2009. Affair #1 with neighbor was fall of 2002 - while I was coping with the fallout from 9/11.
Still trying to R.
22 years married
[This message edited by DefeatedDad at 4:26 PM, November 11th (Monday)]
Divorcing her sorry a--.
My humble thanks and respect to those of you that are also serving HERE in these forums.
[This message edited by jjct at 7:24 AM, November 11th (Monday)]
"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few."
DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.
Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.
Also Happy Veterans day to all of you who served for our great country.
First, Thank you Vets for all that you sacrificed to defend my rights and freedoms. Above and beyond one and all. I will add a caveat, to those who choose to abuse the privilege of serving with those who stand and serve with honor, please, get out of the service. The men and women who serve faithfully deserve better.
Second, DD, in my earlier reply to you my post was not very clear. I divorced my first wife Skippy(cause she spread so easily) and never looked back. I'm trying to reconcile with my second wife.
Third, PG, ignore. Save the VM. They aren't worth the time it takes to become concerned with their actions.
Again, thanks to the Vets among us.
BTW, Those currently serving have my full admiration also and Thank You to you as well!
Happy belated Bday to you too flup...Semper Fidelis.
And thanks to all the vets. In a time where it's commmon place to take take take, you gave back instead.
I would think you have a right to know where your kids are when they are not with you (not sure what your custody arrangment is though). I would talk to your attorney to press for that and give the AP crickets. He's a POSER that doesn't deserve your headspace.
Also, your kids definitely do not deserve to be put in a place to keep secrets. On the other hand I think you should stop asking your boys for any information. I realize it's frustrating being in the dark but it puts them in a position where they feel they have to pick sides. That is very damaging to them. You might consider letting your boys know that you know the position they are in and how difficult it must be for them. I think if you can let them know you are ok regardless of whether they tell you or not, it will help relieve the stress for them. I know this sucks. Sorry you have to deal with that.
I have not ready the book, but will definitely look for it.
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover
read it a couple of years ago as a part of my healing. Not all of it applied to me, but enough did to make it worth the cost from Amazon.
Basic concept is what women say they want and what they are biologically programmed to respond to is not the same. Not their fault exactly, it is a social construct (that has it's own legitimate reasons) but still there.
In our case, I was damned close to the perfect "modern husband" and we had a great M. Didn't stop my W from screwing a POSER at work. When I asked her why she did it, the best explanation she could come up with was she was "just having a little fling, no reason."
Right, you would risk a great marriage, and damage a great (her own words) guy for NO REASON?
I was so nice, it never occurred to her that I would be hurt, or might leave her over something like this. She was shocked.
It's good to be nice. But it is bad to be be nice about everything. A's are something we should not be nice about.
I think what drew me to this book were multiple conversations I've had with people who tell me I am too nice or what nice guy I am. I wonder how much of it is something I encourage through lack of boundaries, FOO issues, etc. I have a generous and kind personality but have a hard time knowing when to turn that off, or at the very least moderate it in intimate relationships.
And MAYBE I am just a nice guy and got myself mixed up with a complete NPD'd succubus whore the last 12 yrs. Either way I'd hate to have a repeat of that and hoped this book might give me some insight into myself and areas I can improve on. Long story short, I need to find better ways to look out for ME.
[This message edited by RyeBread at 1:25 PM, November 11th (Monday)]