Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: brokenhearted730 (43224)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 15
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And at this cliff there is a pause (when the mind starts screaming) and then a decision to either step off the cliff or turn back.

This is only possible when the WS has a functioning conscience free of justifications and excuses. Once an action, no matter how wrong, is fully justified, it overrides the warning signals from the conscience.

For example: a pastor is banging one of his married congregants, yet every Sunday he stands in front of his church and preaches. The conscience says "Hypocrite!" but the justification says "My wife is not making me happy and I deserve to be happy. Therefore what I'm doing is neither wrong nor hypocritical."

I asked Mrs. Kite what she was thinking while lying in bed with some OM on top of her. She said "the M was over anyway, I thought you didn't love me, you're an ass****," etc. That's all the justification she needed to override her conscience.

[This message edited by Mr. Kite at 12:32 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
No12turn2
♂ Member
Member # 40996
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heard this song today and thought about my WS. She loves this artist and this song.

Sad thing is I could see this absolutely ruining a WS's life if they were to the point of regret after the BS had already moved on. Sad indeed.
http://youtu.be/DksSPZTZES0


Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: D train.

Knowing the details doesn't always make you feel satisfied. In my case, it just made me want to burn a perfectly good couch!


Posts: 341 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United Staes
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because the slippery slope goes along but at some point there is a cliff. And at this cliff there is a pause (when the mind starts screaming) and then a decision to either step off the cliff or turn back. At that moment how was that decision made?

Very good question, and one that cuts to the heart of the betrayal. They step off of that cliff knowingly. They may not admit it, but no one pushed them, no one shoved them. They looked around, looked down at the ground a thousand feet below, and took a step into the abyss. It was only after they hit the ground that they gave one thought to us.

And what was that thought, you might ask? Hmmmm????

"I've fallen. Can you help me up, please?"

Why we didn't just walk away at that point I'll never know. Why we reached out our hands and helped them back up, I'll never know.

"Sorry, honey. Stinks that you fell like that. Hope you didn't hurt yourself. Here, let me help you up. Take my hand."

Sometimes I think that I'm the dumbest dumb-shit that ever walked the face of the earth.


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
damaged71
♂ Member
Member # 36004
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Defiled... something that I failed to mention is that she did initiate it.

About a week after I told OM's wife (Who must be a professional interrogator) she knew everything. Every little detail. She even called me and asked if there was anything that I wanted her to get out of him.

The entire time the OM said my wife initiated everything. My wife's response was "if you all need for me to be the bad guy, I will". She was playing the victim card to the hilt.

A few months ago she told me the truth. She did initiate the first contact. She said she literally asked for it. The guilt she felt over that was "getting to her" and she fessed up.

and... for 19 months she said they didn't have intercourse. She has a wicked latex allergy. The OM said he bought condoms. She said what stopped them was her latex allergy. I got the OM wife to ask if he knew if she had a latex allergy. He said no.

She finally owned up to it the other night.

ETA: I have often asked about that single moment where the decision was made. I said "at some point you decided you didn't love me enough to be faithful, tell me when that was". She OF COURSE said it didn't happen like that. That's utter bullshit.

I've done things I knew were a bad idea and I knew when I committed. For instance getting in a fight you KNOW you are going to lose. It's a bad idea, you know it's going to hurt but you still have to. That decision is a specific memorable act.

Think about it. I can remember one time as clear as a bell that happened. I was 17 years old.

[This message edited by damaged71 at 12:56 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


I didn't know there was this much emotional pain in the universe!
Me 42
Her 44
D-day 5.18.12
Currently in R

Posts: 305 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: damaged71
Commanche1
♂ New Member
Member # 39692
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Montreal, Your Wife has had three affairs and continued one after D-Day, and now tells you she isn't "All in" then you should ensure that she is all out.

Posts: 23 | Registered: Jun 2013
slater13
♂ Member
Member # 39008
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been away for a couple weeks- one on vacation with my fWW and another couple and then one with my buddies. Honestly, I had more fun with my friends. No bullshit there. I found myself missing my kids, but not my fWW so much.

On my trip with my friends, we went out a few nights. Some of the guys were hitting on chicks. They all know my situation so I think they expected me to go at it the hardest. They kept reminding my that I had the ultimate get-out-of-jail card. The thing is, I had no desire to go that way. There is a strength I found, I wasn't sure I had before. It feels good to do what you want for you.

Coming back home, my fWW seems to just move through life like the others in her position, happy to pretend it isnt there.

Montreal- I read your story. I wish I could put mine up one day. Takes a lot to do that. It was tough to read, sorry man. For me, it really made me question the BS my fWW is feeding me. At least you can be thankful that you know the story, I wish I had that.

Coming back here after a break is tough. I guess you can't ignore the demons forever, they are certainly there, but it was nice to not think about it at all last week.

[This message edited by slater13 at 2:07 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character

Posts: 154 | Registered: Apr 2013
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Montreal,
Just read your profile. That is some tough shit. I'm not going to chime in on whether or not you should try to fix this (yet). But there are lots of us here who have been through similar shit.

But make sure you are protecting yourself and your children.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I could put mine up one day. Takes a lot to do that.

I put mine up a while back. It was actually easier than I thought, but I think I'm just kind of going numb to all this shit anyway.


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
LifeisCrazy
♂ Member
Member # 38287
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To tie two issues together, Ryebread earlier commented on some posters encouraging a BH to "man up." While I never use that term (sounds a bit dopey to me) I am absolutely one of those who encourages the newly betrayed to be strong. The days/weeks following Dday require a gut check that can determine whether or not the WW continues an affair and whether the BH gets dragged around for months.

In reading Montreal's back story... I am saddened. We have all been betrayed. But there is a special place in hell for those who betray a spouse, get discovered, promise no further contact - and then continue to piss on their husband.

Montreal's situation is a good case in point. At what point IS enough enough? After the 2nd betrayal? The 3rd? How about another year or two?

Isn't there a certain point at which the man needs to be a man and say, "You know what? You want whips and chains... from some other guy.... let him put up with your shit full time."

I know that each of us has a certain tolerance level that is unique. We are all in different situations and fit different psychological profiles. But to me - and this is just my opinion - there comes a time when the betrayed needs to be reminded, and encouraged to stop being a doormat and start taking control of their life.

I am very lucky in that my WW "got it" very, very quickly. But I cannot imagine someone continuing to hand me shit sandwich after shit sandwich and wanting me to keep swallowing. After a while that sandwich is going back in their face.

I don't know if Ryebread was referring to me (my posts aren't all that harsh) but I think we all need a reminder sometimes that strength comes from emotional security. It's tough to remember that after you've been slapped in the face with infidelity. But being reminded that you ARE strong and you DON'T need to put up with this, to me, is an invaluable perspective.


"Pain is temporary. Quitting is forever."

Posts: 128 | Registered: Jan 2013
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

something that I failed to mention is that she did initiate it

I hear ya, that shit sucks. I get the didn't initiate the relationship all the time, but she was the one that called him up, left me home with the kids, then meet him on some out of the way dirt road the first time they had sex. She professes she didn't intend to go do that, but she still initiated the meeting, so whatever, I tend to think she's more full of shit than not as to what the intentions really were.

However I still believe that she didn't just wake up one day and say I'm doing to go fuck that guy. I know that's not always the case, for some of us here it might seem to be exactly what happened. But somewhere along the line barriers were slowly broken down. At least for someone working on their first affair. I want her to recognize those initial signs things are going wrong (even if tis just being depressed not necessarily an attraction for someone else. That's when she needs to take a step back and talk to me, something she didn't do the first time.

Because the slippery slope goes along but at some point there is a cliff. And at this cliff there is a pause (when the mind starts screaming) and then a decision to either step off the cliff or turn back. At that moment how was that decision made?

I would argue, granted for me anyway, that that cliff approached way before the PA started. 4 year LTA, a large part of that was spent in an EA only. That first white lie, that first deleted text, that first physical complement, that first light brush, that first I love you too. All that shit lead to it and at every point she should have ended it. Maybe it's just me, but the depth of the EA my WW had actually hurts more than the PA part of it. Granted its more of a 1A and 1B type thing but still. During that time he was her "love" relationship, while I was her "co-worker" in life relationship. That shit cuts to the bone.


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 429 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

you ARE strong and you DON'T need to put up with this

Don't know that I have an opinion one way or another on the "man up" thing, guess I've never really thought about it, but seems that the above is a much more appropriate and elegant way to put it.

Did I really just use elegant? Man-card police, I need a ruling.


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 429 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In reading Montreal's back story... I am saddened. We have all been betrayed. But there is a special place in hell for those who betray a spouse, get discovered, promise no further contact - and then continue to piss on their husband.
...and not just piss on him via cheating, but also OPENLY FUCKING MOCK him to OM3, and brag about lying to the therapist as if it was an accomplishment. Not trying to rub it in for you, Montreal, but I'm outraged on your behalf.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1616 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Montreal
♂ New Member
Member # 40627
Default  Posted: 3:26 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all the support guys, I honestly didn't think anybody was going to read it. I just wanted to write it, you know?

Still, this Menz Club is the best club I hate being a member of.

I just want to clarify a couple of things. The "for better or else" thing sounds harsher, perhaps than it really is. She never said that. I did, to her. She just comes back with "I wasn't happy, if I'm not happy in the future what am I supposed to do?" Which I guess brings up an interesting (?) moral question - does a cheater have the right to end a marriage later on, if they don't get what led them to cheat in the first place? Not cheat again, we all agree that is unacceptable, but simply say "I've tried, it's just not working, I'm sorry I hurt him, but I have a life to live too?" Do they have that right? In the meantime though she is trying. Doing therapy. Being there for me. All that.

The second point is she has not cheated on me since early May. She did not cheat on me after our July D-Day. At least not physically. Is sexting cheating? Yeah, probably, but I'm grasping at straws here. I KNOW she didn't physically cheat on me with OM3 because when she pocket-answered me in the van with him I heard him say that very thing. "I have not seen you since May."

Could there have been others, besides those three? Perhaps. But like I said I went through our texts and emails to each other, and looked at our busy kids activity schedules, and logistically it's unlikely. Not impossible mind you, but unlikely. I believe her on that. Call me stupid if you will, but I believe her on that.

In her head, and perhaps in reality, she shut it all down in early May, the last time she hooked up with OM3. She didn't consider the sexting to be cheating, and I guess in comparison to the other shit she did it wasn't. I think it was cheating, most would agree, but there was nothing physical after early May with OM3, nothing happened in the van that day (whether its because she said she was going to tell him good-bye, as she says it was, or because I interrupted and ruined it all, I'll never know for sure), nothing after our "we need to work on our marriage" talk, and nothing after d-day. She swears she will not cheat on me again, and will simply end the marriage if it gets to that. She IS working. As hard as I would like? I don't know. I want that sobbing, blubbering, "I'm never going to leave you." She won't give that to me (though she did come close when I stormed out after discovering OM3).

The question is, have I already checked out? I said in an earlier post that I am leaning very heavily towards divorce, but that I felt that I owed it to the kids to try. It's only been three months. Will we make it? I'm not optimistic. I'm not sure I want to make it. But I will try.

Anyways, thanks again guys for the support. If any of you feel the need to whack me upside the head with a 2x4, go ahead. Lord knows I have no idea how to deal with this myself.

[This message edited by Montreal at 3:29 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


DDay: July 6, 2013
"not divorcing"

Posts: 50 | Registered: Sep 2013
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did I really just use elegant? Man-card police, I need a ruling.

"Elegant" can be used for things like the methods to destroy an enemy, quality of an alcoholic beverage, cigar, mathematics and hand to hand weapons. While beating a rival chieftain to death with a rock hammer (not a geologists tool but a rock lashed to a stick and used as a hammer) is obviously masculine, calmly stabbing him in the throat with a drusus and not even watching as he drops to his knees clutching at the gurgling wound is also masculine. One action is elegant, and is no less manly. Therefore I propose that the word Elegant be considered gender neutral for our purposes here.

eta:

he just comes back with "I wasn't happy, if I'm not happy in the future what am I supposed to do?" Which I guess brings up an interesting (?) moral question - does a cheater have the right to end a marriage later on, if they don't get what led them to cheat in the first place? Not cheat again, we all agree that is unacceptable, but simply say "I've tried, it's just not working, I'm sorry I hurt him, but I have a life to live too?" Do they have that right? In the meantime though she is trying. Doing therapy. Being there for me. All that.

Well no offense to you sir, but your wife is still a selfish bitch who needs to put her big girl panties on and understand that life is full of fucking disappointments.

Of course there is going to be a time she isn't happy. If she is telling you flat out that her first response is going to be to bail on you, consider that long and carefully.

You aren't going to be happy all the time either. Is she prepared to walk in on you with some co-ed with her legs over your shoulders shouting the theme to Scooby Doo in her part of your disturbing sexual rock opera when you decide you aren't happy?

OTOH, everyone always has the right to be an adult about things and leave. If she is trying to sell you on the idea that this time around she'll bail on you *the right way* then I'd still caution against believing that because it means she's hedging her bets and doesn't want to actually focus on a life with you.

So yes, she has the right, just as anyone does. You have no cause to believe she'd ever exercise it though.

eta again:

Also, what she considers cheating is irrelevant at the end of the day here. She was lying to you and hiding a sexual relationship from you.

You cannot reconcile with someone in that state of mind. You can just live next to her and suffer.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 3:48 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7119 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
damaged71
♂ Member
Member # 36004
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Montreal...

I read your profile too. I wasn't going to comment, but wow your wife was harsh. It's amazing how they change isn't it. I don't know how I would have handled all of that. I told my wife this was a one and done situation. If she was able to cheat on me a second time seeing how hurt I was the first time I didn't need that toxicity in my life. I would be better off without that.

As for the pocket call, my wife butt dialed me walking into therapy. I listened for the whole hour. Good on you for hanging up.


About this:

The question is, have I already checked out? I said in an earlier post that I am leaning very heavily towards divorce, but that I felt that I owed it to the kids to try. It's only been three months. Will we make it? I'm not optimistic. I'm not sure I want to make it. But I will try.

I realized after the fact that the clock was ticking on my "warm and fuzzy" feeling I had for my wife. It was like water flowing out of a bucket with a hole in it. She could have plugged the hole with her finger any time she chose. She chose not to. That water is gone and I don't know if it will ever be refilled. It's like she tried to stomp that feeling out. Every time I would extend an olive branch she would make sure I paid for it. I remember the last time I felt that way. I felt that feeling go away and I knew it was gone.

Some would call that feeling love. I don't think so. I don't think love is as much a feeling as it is a commitment. She said she was in "love" with the OM. Love is a good thing, not a product of sickness or something that should be hidden. Love stands there in the face of adversity and holds fast.

ETA:

moral question - does a cheater have the right to end a marriage later on, if they don't get what led them to cheat in the first place? Not cheat again, we all agree that is unacceptable, but simply say "I've tried, it's just not working, I'm sorry I hurt him, but I have a life to live too?

I was thinking about this and I was left with a single visual image. I picture a women holding a grenade in one hand and the pin in the other. She is getting ready to drop the grenade.

So what she is saying is that I don't truly commit to this and when I don't feel like being married anymore the grenade is going to drop and I am going to blow up your world. Oh, and I am going to do it at my leisure.

Your situation is your own but I think I know how I would handle it. Sounds like she is reconciling on her terms only and until something better comes along.

[This message edited by damaged71 at 4:30 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


I didn't know there was this much emotional pain in the universe!
Me 42
Her 44
D-day 5.18.12
Currently in R

Posts: 305 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: damaged71
LifeisCrazy
♂ Member
Member # 38287
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nothing happened in the van that day (whether its because she said she was going to tell him good-bye, as she says it was, or because I interrupted and ruined it all, I'll never know for sure)

Gently here, Montreal.... but what do you think she was going to be doing in the back of a van??? If she was just there to end it or say goodbye, why would you be in the back of a van like a two-bit hooker? Sorry, but I don't give quarter to someone with her background.

Well no offense to you sir, but your wife is still a selfish bitch who needs to put her big girl panties on and understand that life is full of fucking disappointments.

Abso-fucking-lutely.

She has been fucking around behind your back in an awful way. She needs to remember what it's like to be an adult.

Life isn't always a bed of roses. That's why vows say for better or worse.

It's understood that either of you can pull the plug at any time. But if you're still in the marriage, and what to keep the marriage, then speak and act like a big girl, for goodness sakes.


"Pain is temporary. Quitting is forever."

Posts: 128 | Registered: Jan 2013
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She just comes back with "I wasn't happy, if I'm not happy in the future what am I supposed to do?" Which I guess brings up an interesting (?) moral question - does a cheater have the right to end a marriage later on, if they don't get what led them to cheat in the first place? Not cheat again, we all agree that is unacceptable, but simply say "I've tried, it's just not working, I'm sorry I hurt him, but I have a life to live too?" Do they have that right? In the meantime though she is trying. Doing therapy. Being there for me. All that.

Well first everyone has the right to end a M at any time. She can do it now or she can do it in 20 years. But so can you.

Mostly though. What this implies is that your WW is not all-in to fix what she broke. And IMO unless your WW is all-in it is not going to get fixed.

There are some in life that just get by. They do the minimum necessary to get past whatever they are doing. They do it fast. They do it messy. And they never reach out of their comfort zone and grow and expand. They are static in life. They dont like things that make them think too much. They dont like jobs that make them work too hard. 9 to 5 ers. *C* level students.

But in this shit a *C* level WW is not going to cut it. And even 100% effort is not going to cut it. 200% is what it will take. Every bit of effort imaginable and then add more. Thinking and anticipating every day how to make their BH feel comfortable and safe again. Working tirelessly perhaps over years and years to earn back trust.

That is what it will take.

Sadly that isnt what most of us get. If it were we would not be on SI.

By the sound of it though your wife isnt even up to *C* level work.

I have to say from painful experience that if your WW is only doing *C* work to recover the years you spend on that will end up being wasted years of your life.

I am not telling you to bail out. Obviously you have not reached the point where its enough yet. And NO ONE can tell you when that is. Enough is enough when its enough to you.

[This message edited by Razor at 5:09 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3088 | Registered: Sep 2007
Montreal
♂ New Member
Member # 40627
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the 2x4's guys, I probably need this. And thanks for the Scooby Rock Opera StillGoing - I haven't laughed much in the last three months, but I laughed at that one. Much appreciated.

LifeisCrazy, no need to be gentle, but again I have to clarify something. There was no "back" of the van. We have a mini-van, and with three kids the "back" of the van is full of car seats, toys, hockey sticks and garbage. There was absolutely nothing going on there, trust me. No, their "thing" was that she would pick him up (he doesn't drive) and they would go to a hotel to get their Scooby on. Twice, she swears.

Look, I know it seems like I am in denial, and that I am defending my WW. Perhaps I am. Up until three and a half months ago she was the best thing that ever happened to me. But there isn't a day - an hour really - that doesn't go by that I don't think the very things you guys have all said. So at least I know I'm not crazy in that regards.

To that end I have set about protecting myself. I have all the divorce papers filled in, and while I don't know how it works where you all are, in Quebec, because there is adultery involved, I don't have to wait a year, we don't have to separate, and I don't even need her signature. I just have to send them in. I've used a web site to draw a fair joint custody agreement, I've divided up our assets on paper, right down to the kitchen utensils, and I've been pre-approved for my own mortgage. I shop every day on the internet for houses. As I said to a good friend of mine, one of only two who knows, I could have this thing done in three months if I wanted to. I have shared all of this with my WW.

But...

As I said in another post... the kids. I don't want to do this before Christmas, and my oldest has his birthday in early January. I don't want to fuck this up for them, if this is in fact going to be our last time together as a family like this. And as everybody says, from the books, to posters here, to my own IC, don't do anything in the first few months when your emotions are too strong and you're not thinking clearly. So since it's only been three months, give or take, I'm waiting. And watching. I owe it to the kids to at least try, but Razor said, she has to try too. Harder. Will she? I don't know. I'm not going to put a time frame on it, other than "after his birthday", but I'm well aware of it. It hurts, no doubt, but you guys, and my instincts, are probably right.

If she doesn't put in the 100%, the 200%, then it's not going to work. I know that.

Wow. I honestly wasn't expecting anybody to read my story, much less have it turn into an entire page of posts. If only my WW would give me this much attention!

[This message edited by Montreal at 5:55 PM, October 17th (Thursday)]


DDay: July 6, 2013
"not divorcing"

Posts: 50 | Registered: Sep 2013
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello and welcome, No12turn2.

I went and read the lyrics to that song you posted. Definitely an ironic song choice for her to like.


Posts: 4570 | Registered: Dec 2010
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Montreal - That's good of you to keep the kids and the holidays in mind. There's definitely a lot of us here whose choices have been steered by the impact to the kids, myself included.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you that your wife puts in the 200% that you deserve.


Posts: 4570 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.