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User Topic: To the entire SI community
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Target  Posted: 11:00 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello everyone!

First off thank you for taking the time to read this.

Secondly, I would like to address something that happed on another thread. I am not going to mention its headline b/c it is about moving forward, not back...

I want all of us to stop for a minute and realize that WE are here b/c of DS and MH. We are in their home. They opened their doors to their hearts and allowed us to generously take what we need. That is something that we sometimes here at SI take for granted. Kind of like our kids take us for granted BUT we are not kids! So let's realize that we are in their home. We have to follow their rules in their home. Just like if you had a neighbor that would come to your house. Would you allow him to continuously drag dirt on your carpet without a care? Would you allow him to talk bad about YOUR furniture? Would you welcome him back if he continuously "disapproved" of your standards of living?!

Think about it...

We are in DS and MH's home. Let's all stop and appreciate their hospitality and their love they share so generously with us. If we don't like their "way of life" then we can leave. This is not a prison. The door is wide open to come in or get out.

Thank you DS and MH for all you do for us.

Thank you for all you wonderful volunteers we have on this site. We have not forgotten you.

So let's get back to healing and appreciating. Life is good.

Love and peace,

ETA: This is not a topic for debate. If you have something positive to say, let's hear it! If you disagree, you can pm me. I will always reply

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 8:14 AM, October 10th (Thursday)]


Posts: 2483 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well Said EW.

I agree 110%. I didn't even involve myself in all that nonesense because I was mortified that some people could get so carried away, and behave the way they did. After I read the threads, I said to myself "Well there's an hour I will never get back".

To DS and MH you two are awesome!!! To all the other Mods - You guys rock!!!


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8229 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree 110%. I didn't even involve myself in all that nonesense because I was mortified that some people could get so carried away, and behave the way they did.
I agree and also refrained from posting anything to add to the fray.

Thank you mods and guides!!


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - R looks possible..

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6369 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After I read the threads, I said to myself "Well there's an hour I will never get back".

ROTFLMAO!!!!

(((EW)))

You're always so thoughtful and sweet...you're positively consistent!


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197378 | Registered: May 2002
knightsbff
♀ Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Like!

I completely missed whatever it was but this is a great post anyway.


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

Posts: 1411 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((DS & MH)))))

Posts: 2483 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
idiot85
♂ Member
Member # 38934
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like the mods- when I do something wrong they usually just tell me nicely then allow me to plod on my merry little way...

Ive been good lately- haven't been in trouble once

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING


BH-29 (me)
WW-28

Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.


Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
deeplysad
♀ Member
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well said EW.

We all come here in pain..why would anyone want to add to it with their negativity. Luckily, I find that the majority of people here are positive and helpful. I just ignore the others because they aren't worth my time.


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert


Posts: 3229 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

deeplysad
I just ignore the others because they aren't worth my time.

I totally understand where you are coming from. Make perfect sense to me.

However, I thought maybe, just maybe by explaining it like I did with the comparison to one's house. Maybe some of us that are in deep pain and wrongfully take it out on the Mods and MH & DS, maybe it opens their eyes to it. Maybe instead of being furious with the site, they stop and internalize what was said here. Maybe it is a stepping stone on their path of healing...


Posts: 2483 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

House metaphor = perfect.

Thanks EW - couldn't have said it better myself.


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17067 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have missed something

But hey, I feel comfy here in DS/MH house - I kick my shoes off and lounge in my jammies as I talk to all my friend here.


Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 6264 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
Crushed1
♀ Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

didn't see the thread but want to say I will always be grateful and thankful to DS and MH for opening their hearts and 'home' to all of us.


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9694 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not only have we been invited in by DS & MH, but we've also agreed to abide by certain ground rules in our posts.

I've also seen evidence that mods think and consult before acting, and I've been on failed forums with totally emotional or no moderation. The nature of the posts and the quality of the moderation are enough for me to conclude that SI is a very safe, supportive, and healthy place. MH & DS founded this place. You bet I'm grateful and think the world of them.
*****************************

I hope the following isn't too long.

There's a whole lot that goes into making SI the super place it is. Two critical elements are that we're moderated and that we have guidelines.

A couple of points:

1) I don't demand perfection of myself, and the least I can do is accept imperfection in others - even in mods and guidelines. If you're perfect, you really need to remember that nobody else is.

2) I don't agree with every mod action, but I do accept that there are good reasons for every mod action. You may not like the reason, but I think you'll find yourself agreeing that the decisions are reasonable. Ask a question about a decision via PM, and you'll see what I mean.

3) If every decision was explained, the explanations would start using so much energy nothing else would get done. Of course, nothing would need to get done after a while, because SI would quickly become a waste of everybody's time. For the vast majority of problems, I expect, you just have to think, make a decision, and not look back.

4) The mods are people like you and me, and they have hot buttons. That's a fact of life, and we all - that includes the mods - have to deal with it. Dealing with hot buttons is well within our capabilities.

5) I haven't seen any Kool-Aid at any g2g, and I wouldn't drink it if I did....

[This message edited by sisoon at 12:46 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9991 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
circe
♀ Member
Member # 6687
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know that most people first come here when they're angry, hurt, scared and vulnerable, and as much as I'm happy there's understanding for that frame of mind here, I'm also really grateful there are boundaries for ALL of us that keep us safe.

Some of us are in the desperate position of needing a lot of help, and others are in the position of being able to share the help we were given in desperate times, and I'm really grateful to DS and MH for helping balance the needs and feelings of everyone at once. That's some hard shit to balance! But they do it, and I'm impressed and grateful for that.

So thank you DS and MH and thanks to the mods and also to the other posters who act as a buffer for all the emotions that are poured into SI every day.


Posts: 3190 | Registered: Mar 2005
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are in DS and MH's home. Let's all stop and appreciate their hospitality and their love they share so generously with us. If we don't like their "way of life" then we can leave. This is not a prison. The door is wide open to come in or get out.

I prefer being in their real house though. They always have tequila and Kyle & Teddy


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13724 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
sullymeishadomi
♀ Member
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, please remember how great a job the owners and mods have here. My member number is somewhere in the 1600's or 1800's. 6 yrs later we have over 4000 members. Imo this board is difficult to manage with its high numbers...and high and sometimes raw emotions. Their work is to be respected. Imagine if this site were never here...or if MH and DS sold the site? It wouldnt be good for us

I may not shout "thank you" for all to hear, but I am greatful to this site and everyone here in my own quiet way. Ive shared with you stories and feelings Ive not shared with anyone irl. And you listened.

I seldom get to laugh irl, but I come here and, for example, read DS' adventures with Mr. Slithers and laugh out loud.

Ive had someone send me a book.

Ive had someone even offer me to live with them (this was about 3 to 4 yrs ago and I didnt accept bc I thought with the way my ds, now almost 6, was at the time, I thought we would be a burden).

I have learned from others stories and advice to others.

Even from people ignoring me, I have learned.

To sum up, if one looks at the big picture, this site is amazing. It is a great gift MH and DS put together for people they didnt know but cared about to give of themselves. Eta: Its also a gift that their appointed mods and guides are here to guide, advise and protect....even to the point of having their lives and families wait "15 more minutes" wwhile they attend to us.

[This message edited by sullymeishadomi at 1:28 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not

Posts: 8215 | Registered: Sep 2007
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SI is a constant companion in my life and for that I am forever greatful.

Posts: 2483 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Too_Trusting
♀ Member
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well said EW.
We all come here in pain..why would anyone want to add to it with their negativity.

I had to find the nonsense in question, but agree with everyone else on this thread. I'm an old-timer here, and like to stay around to pay it forward when I can. And, in the 10+ years I've been here, I have never been reprimanded or thrown off the island. I'm not a genius, so it must be that the "rules" are pretty damn easy to follow.

I must admist that I did get a kick out of MH in the thread. Loved it when he got his "SI Swiffer" out and started using it!

All joking aside, I and THOUSANDS of others are eternally grateful to DS & MH for SI. You have given hope, support, and the potential for healing to thousands of us.


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2454 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know what I missed... and I'm glad I missed it.

But I totally agree with EW.

Thank you DS and MH for inviting all of use damaged and broken people into your lovely home and helping us heal and grow.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24452 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A toast to y'all. Thanks.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1272 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Topic Posts: 31
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