crazyman, I'm sure everyone's timelines are different, but it took me about 5 months to really learn how to control my 'rage stage' and if I couldn't control it, then I found some ways to do it safely (not around people or living things). We've got some smashed stuff in our house. Not proud of that.
Believe that it will change, your feelings will change. You get to decide who you want to be in this marriage now, and I truly feel like both my fWH and I are unrecognizable compared to our pre-A selves.
The rage will pass if you want it to. Believe and hope. The worst damage to recovery is the loss of hope.
That sounded like I know something, and I really am flubbing my way through this like everyone else. Just hope we all can help each other.
All the best