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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I almost just lost bowel control
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would consider this your body's literal and figurative way of celebrating getting the shit out of your life and leave it at that.

Congratulations on the start of your NB.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1450 | Registered: Jun 2011
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it. It's a yucky feeling.

(((NG)))


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2570 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
BrokenDaisy
♀ Member
Member # 37063
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((NG)))) we both have awful sexually perverse xwh's. My divorce was final today and my body also went out of my control. I couldn't stand and shook uncontrollably (not a jittery shake, I almost vibrated, it was awful and a little scary). I think it is the release of all the anxiety and fear one carries around about such men being in your life and near your kids. And all the hurt... So so much hurt.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. (((NG)))

[This message edited by BrokenDaisy at 1:16 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


Me BxW, him SA NPD WxH
1 wonderful toddler - sole legal custody to me and supervised visitation to xwh.
DDay 01/2012
10/2013 Divorced!!

Posts: 242 | Registered: Oct 2012
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I hope you soon feel joy from being finished with the crap that he put you through.

In the meantime, is there any way you could be sitting in his car when you finally let go. Just a little present to say goodbye.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3330 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In the meantime, is there any way you could be sitting in his car when you finally let go. Just a little present to say goodbye

What a fun thing to imagine!

And if I peed while doing it he'd probably get off!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9300 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
dindy
♀ Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 4:44 AM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((NG)))))

I think the pain of this is so primal that your body takes over and deals with it the best way it can-to get rid.

Have you thought about taking a homeopathic remedy for this?

After DDay I felt really nauseous all the time and was popping about 10 times a day. I couldn't eat either.

My friend who is a homeopath prescribed me a remedy that really helped to calm my insides. Though I can't remember the name.

It might be worth finding out what you can take. I know rescue remedy helps to calm nerves too.

Sending you strength.


Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, NG. I've been told it's nerves sometimes.

Even though we know it's coming, it was so hard for me to see the papers with our names in such capacity that I would throw up at first without any advance notice. I had to have a trusted relative read the papers for a time and describe them.

And seeing the pages in black and white is so...final.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess


Posts: 2134 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I find myself mulling my physical reaction over & over. I am left just gently shaking my head and reminding myself that I am still vulnerable. I am far from healed from the trauma of the abuse and the pain of the cheating. As I intentionally move towards integrating my emotions and my intellect, I need to accept that my body is now more free to react viscerally.

I had thought that as this nightmare drew to a close I'd get lighter & more joyous, similar to how I was when we separated. Instead I find I'm feeling heavier, darker and even depressed. I may be going through another anger phase. I'm also feeling frightened for my long-term future.

Gah. Another dark night of the soul phase.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9300 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((NG))

My D was not particularly contentious. When it was finalized 5+ years after Dday I still had a good cry and very physical response to it all. I feel better now but it really hit me. Its a big deal. Your reaction seems with in the realm of normal for this crap.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8407 | Registered: Apr 2008
Missymomma
♀ Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NG - I am sorry for the low. Alot of anxiety and fear can have that reaction. I am going to recommend a CD to you, that I seem to be telling everyone about because it is phenomenal. It is called "Guided Imagery to Help with Heartbreak, Abandonment and Betrayal."


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
Compartmented
Member
Member # 29410
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had the CD called Healing Trauma: Guided Imagery for Posttraumatic Stress a few years back and it really helped me. I had forgotten about this one. Nature, I used it when I was in agony and the CD was pretty deep. I didn't know how to meditate at all, but this CD really was great for me.

I will look for the Abandonment one, too. Thanks, Missy!

Not to t/j too much, but Nature, I'm one year out from divorcing my sociopathic sex- addicted abuser. (SSAA?) I'm still in therapy and it's working. You'll get through this. There are lots of stages, but things will get better!!!

Once the divorce was final, I did feel a lot of relief...I was shaky and crying heavily. But the queasiness was from the fear he still wouldn't leave me alone.


Posts: 1208 | Registered: Aug 2010
Topic Posts: 31
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