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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I almost just lost bowel control
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Shocked  Posted: 6:40 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Getting very close to The Divorce From Hell being final. Just got an email from my attorney, we may be done in about a month. When I saw that just now I seriously almost lost bowel control. Wasn't expecting that reaction. Now I'm feeling like I'm going to vomit.

Why am I having such a visceral reaction like this? Why not jumping for joy?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((NG))

Because even though we desperately want it over and done with, it still hurts that it is (almost) final and absolute.

One more death and stab of pain on this shitty journey.
((((HUGS)))


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 752 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...on this shitty journey

Quite literally.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
pregnantandsad
♀ Member
Member # 40141
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry. As much as I don't want wh back, every time I think of the divorce being final I feel sick to my stomach.


M 7 years, together for 12
2 kids- DD4 and a newborn
D-Day 7/2013 he didn't want R and moved in with OW
Filing for D

Posts: 155 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((NG)))

Posts: 11754 | Registered: Mar 2008
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a hard time also. Even though I was the one who did the paperwork and sent it in, (also a vomit-worthy moment), I had a very physical reaction when the innocent looking envelope came from the court saying it was done.

I think it's because even though it was the only possible outcome, it was hard because it was not an outcome I chose for myself. It was something chosen for me by someone I deeply loved and trusted, who I thought had my best interest at heart and of course turned out to be the exact opposite.

This was not my first marriage, my first wayward spouse, or my first divorce. Before I met XWH, I said I'd never get married again. After I married him, I said I'd never get divorced again. And I believed that with all my heart.

Now I truly mean it when I say I will never, EVER get married again.

So sorry you're hurting, NG.
((NG))


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 919 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


...on this shitty journey

Quite literally.


TMI alert!


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 752 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What GypsyBird said. Exactly!


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 785 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((NG)))))


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2271 | Registered: Oct 2012
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((NG))

Nerves, anxiety and stress do very strange things to us - I've noticed I often get the physical symptoms after the storm has passed.

I guess adrenalin and survival mode gets us through the rough stuff then our body is free to react once the crisis passes.

One more month my friend. Just one more month.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Nature_Girl)) A lot of us have that visceral reaction, with physical symptoms to go with it. For me, it was the awful finality of the death of my marriage and so many dreams. It just sucks. I thought I was going to throw up in court but my lawyer got me in touch with the anger that had taken me through the divorce process, and that helped me get through the court appearance. The only other time I have ever felt that sick and shaky was after anesthesia. It is hard.

[This message edited by kernel at 8:33 PM, October 7th (Monday)]


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5297 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Nature_Girl)))

When I went to the courthouse (by myself) to put the final nail in the coffin, and they asked me if the marriage was irevocably broken, I broke down into sobs so hard I couldn't breathe.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
pointmagnet
♂ Member
Member # 16565
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow when I was asked if the marriage was irretrievably broken I said YES YES YES!

Funny how things happen but I am glad to be rid of the WW even if I have to still pay for many many more years.

[This message edited by pointmagnet at 10:03 PM, October 7th (Monday)]


Me (BS): 55
Her (WW): 53
Married: Not any more
Children: Three of them
D-Day: 10/07/07; 12/15/12
Status: Trying to move on

Posts: 475 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: USA
sleepless34
♀ Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Think of it like....

Sometimes you have to poop it all out to feel better. Sometimes you have to vomit it all up to feel better. I think it is totally normal to feel sick, it is a sick and discusting event in your life you didn't ask for and you dealt with it and it is almost over.

Once you poop and vomit- you are gonna feel a whole lot better!! Congrats to you!


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
beachbunny
♀ Member
Member # 35476
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I remember you, NG...

(((((((hugs))))))))

I'm sure it will be jarring for me as well, when all is said & done...


BS/WW: Me 43 WH/BH: Him 45 (badchoice)
Me: EA/PA 1997 DDay 5/99 (see profile)
Him: See his profile-15/16 y LTA
2DS:5 & 11 my loves
You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequence of your choice.

Posts: 678 | Registered: Apr 2012
NewMom0220
♀ Member
Member # 39036
Default  Posted: 11:52 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think this is totally normal. Our bodies respond to things. Divorce is a monumental thing. It's stressful. Your brain knows better, but you were together 20 years. You are human, with feelings, and not a robot. Sometimes your feelings come in all different ways.

(((Nature_Girl))) I can't wait for your post when you are jumping for joy. You are getting close to the light at the end of the tunnel. Yipee.


Me: BS 36
Him: WS 37
14 month old DS
Married 5 years, together 8, DIVORCING!!! (taking forever)
DDay: 3/1/13 (4 Month PA while I was pregnant)
Sometimes all you have to do is forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.

Posts: 374 | Registered: Apr 2013
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it.. I was so nervous sitting in that court room to finalize our D. But when the judge asked if there were no way to reconcile this M and I said absolutely not, the relief was amazing.

It was over.

Done.

Finally free from the crazy person he has become!

It's the "getting there" part that affects us so strangely! I was so nervous and felt ill leading up to the mediation.. but when it came down to it I just powered through like I always do. You will too NG. It's ok to have unsettling emotions about this crap. Just know you will come out so much better on the other side!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
courageous
♀ Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 1:08 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(NG). I was like that too. Once the final day comes you will feel some relief. Could you also be afraid that something would happen that would cause the divorce not to be finalized so soon?


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 651 | Registered: Jan 2012
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Nature_Girl))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25773 | Registered: Aug 2011
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((N_G))))

Consider this a self purge of the last of yuck, and filth of this human from your heart.

It is not unusual at all to have a strong gut reaction to such things. It's all part of the fight or flight thing. You are dumping the last of vile waste so that you can now fly and become the soaring Eagle you were always meant to be.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8718 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 31
Pages: 1 · 2

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