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User Topic: t/j Thank You
OK now
♀ Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fervently agree; SI is a godsend to those battling to come to terms with adultery and the devastation it causes to a marriage.

Might add how I have learned from SI about the pain and despair of both BS and WS and how we can collectively help to support them as they journey through this dark period in their lives.


Posts: 1468 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have always been skeptical of real-life support groups. If someone told me an online forum of all things would be an extremely signicant help in my getting through this I would have said they're nuts. I'm serious.

If it weren't for SI I quite possibly would still have been in the hell of Limbo as my STBXWW continued to flaunt her affair in my face as I died the death of a thousand cuts.

I can't thank enough the men and women of SI.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1453 | Registered: Dec 2012
Steppenwolf
♂ Member
Member # 38140
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SI peeps,

You are supreme human beings.
You will probably never fully understand what the sum of your parts has brought so many of us. As a WS, I will tell you that when RockyMtn started here, I was pissed. I was scared that you all would talk her out of giving me a chance to reconcile. Every time I saw Dr. Phil on her laptop, all smiley and mustachioed, I cringed. I tried to distract her with something else.
I was an idiot. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Thank you for providing me with a steady, cerebral and reliable forum to help me heal. You have no idea...

I might grow a mustache in your honor if Rock says its okay.


Me: WS- 30s
Her: BS- 30s RockyMtn



Posts: 126 | Registered: Jan 2013
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I must have missed the cheesecake. It's probably for the best.

I started this thread because I think what we focus on multiplies. So, I saw a lot of focus on anger- and I saw that anger increase- and I wondered what would happen if we focused on gratitude.


Posts: 10915 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: North Carolina
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, you are right, TIKY it was a good idea to start this thread. Thank you!


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 8947 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wondered what would happen if we focused on gratitude

I'm a glass half full kind of gal


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 191824 | Registered: May 2002
2oldforthis
♀ Member
Member # 19825
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hats off to all the kind hearts that come here everyday.


He did not see what he had in me, what I saw in him I did not have!

Love kills slowly.


Posts: 1605 | Registered: Jun 2008
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank the Gods for this site. I have no one IRL I can talk to about what WH did. Had I not found SI, I would have committed suicide. No exaggeration there. In the 4 months after dday I wasn't living..I was planning to die. Of course,looking back now,I can see that I really didn't want to die..I just felt dead. And I felt I could not live knowing what I knew. I was ashamed and mortified and in so much pain that getting out of bed was impossible some days. Then I found SI. I realized this was not my shame. This was not my fault. That I was not alone. I truly believe had I not found SI, I would have either divorced my WH or I would have become so overwhelmed with my pain that I would have ended my life. I credit SI with not only saving my marriage..but this place saved my life.

Three years out from dday...and I haven't cried in a few weeks. I smile..every day. And,generally, Im happy.

I have had mods and guides PM me, when they noticed I needed extra support. It's so clear that every one of them CARE about the members here. Im so sorry that some are unable to appreciate all that you do..but..please know..many,many,many of us are so very thankful for your dedication and compassion.

[This message edited by confused615 at 9:18 AM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: R? I don't know..ask me tomorrow..it changes rapidly.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 6630 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had I not found SI, I would have committed suicide. No exaggeration there

Confused...

Oh my God...I'm so very relieved you didn't take that path. The world would be missing out on a lovely and loving person.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 191824 | Registered: May 2002
daisychains
♀ Member
Member # 37997
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sincere and heartfelt gratitude to everyone on this site.

Simply thank you for being here.

Now can anyone tell me if Aubrie managed to rescue her son from the bathroom.


LTA 3.5 years

Posts: 76 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: uk
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Mods and Guides for all that you do!!

I joined SI on Christmas day in 2009, YEARS after I'd already booted my ex out of the house.
However, I still struggled with memories of the relationship and how I was treated. Even years later, I find it comforting to know that I wasn't crazy and that all of his machinations and manipulations were straight out of the WS Handbook.
There was nothing special about him or his "soul mates".
HE was broken (and sadly, still IS broken). He's never stopped to address his own issues, but I've moved forward and try to deal with mine in healthy ways.

SI is a godsend.


Me - 41
My Rockstar (Hubs #2) - 46, faithful, & an absolute doll!
DD(20) and DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids (4 Dogs and 2 Cats)

The Cheater:
WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW. Undiagnosed SA?)
Married 18yrs

Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.


Posts: 5494 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: United States
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thank God everyday for the wonderful people on SI. Not only the other members, but the guides and mods as well.

I was originally on another infidelity forum before SI where the mods did not monitor the threads and it was constantly being hacked and members pretty much said whatever they wanted. There was one member that responded with literally pages of biblical scriptures. I have nothing against religion or politics but if I wanted that there are other forums for that.

That was just an example of what our wonderful mods and guides do for us everyday. So thank each of you for your time, effort, and support.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know...I had a member this weekend hold me and cry. She said "I was going to kill myself...I know I wasn't going to live if I hadn't found SI"

((((DS)))) A hug for you for being there...for all of us and especially for the person who held you and cried.

Never have I experienced a forum that I could fully trust or pour out my feelings (and pictures of my beautiful grandchildren)...I'm usually a pretty to-myself kind of gal. SI changed that.

If it were not for this site, I can say with 100% certainty that I would be divorced. I was given tools to help myself, and help my FWH to help himself so we could help each other and be whole again. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I'll pass on the cheesecake...but I'm in if you're serving cocktails!

[This message edited by Lalagirl at 12:18 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


Me - 48; FWH - 50
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 26
4yo GS & 14 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/14(DD30) and 2yo GD(DD26). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 4802 | Registered: May 2007
knightsbff
♀ Member
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would like to add my thanks as well. DS , MH, all the mods, guides and members you have made a world of difference in my life, my BH's life, the lives of our children and others I could have hurt had I continued or resumed the destructive path I was on.

This site has been a light in the very scary darkness for me as I've dealt with anxiety, depression and thoughts of suicide. You have helped me to face my pain and fears. You have shown me hope when I absolutely could not find it for myself. I find it very hard to post when I need your support the most but almost always I can still find the help I need through reading the posts and replies of others.

I can't find words to adequately express this...

Thank you all so much.


FWW 40's, BH (knight) 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and a dog

Posts: 1057 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SI is a godsend


It truly is. I can offer no higher praise than that. I am honoured to be a part of this caring community and I, too, would like to give a BIG BIG Thank You! to DS, MH, all the staff, and everyone else who helps to keep this special site up and running 24 hours a day.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1740 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
Truly
♀ Member
Member # 40715
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Everyone here is wonderful x

It took months for me to register...too scared and scarred and most days I cannot bring myself to log in and so I read, and learn, and cheer on, and cry, and even laugh.

For ALL of that, I thank you ALL.

xxx


There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens


Posts: 230 | Registered: Sep 2013
courageous
♀ Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to thank all of the volunteer staff here for all they do. I'm very appreciative of this website. Not only has it helped me get thru the trauma of infidelity it also has been my lifeline for the other trauma in my life. I truly feel safer here than any where else.


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 37
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