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Newest Member: darkchyld (45368)

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User Topic: Message from OW
hobbeskat
♀ Member
Member # 38805
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fecking Linkedin. It sends out invites automatically and one went to OW. Now she's my connection. I logged on and there she was, her face, which I have studiously avoided looking at for 7 months. And a message saying she hopes things are well with me.

I am shaking. I want to reply NO FUCKING THANKS TO YOU. How dare she? Does she think we're friends? We were never fucking friends. I hate her.

ARGH.


Posts: 308 | Registered: Mar 2013
Hopetosurvive98
♀ Member
Member # 33842
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh boy. OW can do nothing to shock me anymore. They are truly the most pathetic creatures. I am so sorry that you had to endure that and I am sorry she is so delusional. Responding to her just feeds the beast and invites more contact. Ignore her and delete the connection if you can (I am not on Linkedin) She needs to be ignored like the nobody and nothing that she is. I know how it sets you back emotionally though. Be kind to yourself today.


Me: BS 36
Him:WS 36
DDay 9/8/11, 3yr LTA
Her: super classy coworker, 44, involved in many A's including several other coworkers.

Posts: 422 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: The beautiful south
Justmiserable
♀ New Member
Member # 39388
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I firmly believe all OW are beyond delusional. Last year, OW troll sent me an e-mail about how at one point she had dreamed we would be friends.

This year, when I had no choice but to message her for the full truth, she had the nerve to say she'd meet me in person. I had to wonder if she was crazy or trying to bait me into helping her with the free plastic surgery she so desperately needs.


me-BS,FWS madhatter (36)
him-BS, FWS (39)
2 children 17 and 13
Married 13 years
Ow-(36)Stranger that he met on POF
D-day 10/03/2012
status: in recovery, NC with OW since shortly after DDay

Posts: 36 | Registered: May 2013
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sucks. I have absolute no use for OM/OW, but have to say that I had no idea LinkedIn sends auto invites, and she might not have known that either.

Any way you can "unfriend" her, or whatever it's called on LI?

Another option might be to deactivate your LI profile. I've used it for a couple of years but IMO it's beyond worthless.


Me (BS)-45, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1458 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
silentheart
♀ Member
Member # 40903
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know how bad a part of you wanted to respond and say something but I agree with the other posts....remove her contact or close your account and ignore her!! I'm appalled at the ignorance of the OW. I know how something like this can stir up thoughts, old wounds, etc. and I'm sorry about that. Take care of yourself.


Me: BW, 37
Him: SO, 37
No children
Committed relationship 13 years
Dday: July, 2012

Posts: 51 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Texas
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They ARE delusional. Ow once told me she thinks if I "took the chance to get to know her, I'd really like her".

This was while we were in R. Not like she was the stepmother of my children or anything. No reason to "get to know her".

Plus, I am passionate about literature, art, the environment, and politics. Her? NASCAR fan (going to all the races in one year is her "ultimate goal in life" according to her social networking site), almost illiterate who says she "hates reading books they put her to sleep". Yep, sounds like we are SO compatible!


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
OC born 3/08
OC Adopted 2014

Reconciled


Posts: 2312 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
imaf
♀ Member
Member # 30916
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They hate themselves and need approval. If you have a friendly relationship with you then that means they aren┤t that bad.
Well fuck you! is what I would say.


Left him because I didn┤t like his other girlfriend.

Posts: 138 | Registered: Jan 2011
hobbeskat
♀ Member
Member # 38805
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yeah, I totally replied reiterating that she helped break my heart and that I can't look at my wedding photos now because she's in them.

She replied saying she was sorry, she wasn't sure if I was reaching out and didn't want to ignore that if I was.

I was dignified in my responses. She took me off as a connection so we can't message now.


Posts: 308 | Registered: Mar 2013
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Uhggggg restraining order time!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
hobbeskat
♀ Member
Member # 38805
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, I do genuinely believe it was an honest mistake and that she thought I was extending an olive branch. It took her 2 months to reply, I didn't realise it had even sent an invite out. I'll let it lie, I feel okay now.

Posts: 308 | Registered: Mar 2013
Chicky
♀ Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad you resolved it but I am 99% sure that LinkedIn does not send automatic invites. There is an option to "find people you know" or something similarly worded. She initiated that invite/connection, I would bet my last dollar. Glad you are now "unconnected".

[This message edited by Chicky at 6:36 PM, October 7th (Monday)]


There's a difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough.

Posts: 559 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When you set up a LinkedIn account it asks for access to your email account to "help you find people you may know."

I accidentally linked to an exbf I hadn't talked to in 5 years. Gmail just collects people into "Contacts" and he was sitting in there with goodness knows who else.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - Franšois-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Chicky
♀ Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh! So are you saying it is possible LinkedIn sent the invite all on it's own?


There's a difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough.

Posts: 559 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
lynnm1947
♀ Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've never heard of LinkedIn sending invites out by itself. Ever.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7285 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
hobbeskat
♀ Member
Member # 38805
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, I mean that I sent them via Linkedin but didn't mean to include her. She was in my gmail contacts and Linkedin invites your contacts. It automatically invited everyone. You can select people not to invite but I obviously wasn't paying attention and it invited her.

[This message edited by hobbeskat at 4:07 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 308 | Registered: Mar 2013
whattheh
♀ Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, October 8th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H received a Linked In invite from OW 8 months after NC. We reported her as spam and deleted her forever so we won't get a linked in reminder.

We have set our profiles so only our connections can see us and we ve removed our public profiles. This means we r pretty much invisible.

I googled this and people are complainin that their profiles are spamming ppl without opening up email contacts and they're quittin it. I'm keepin an eye on LI.

[This message edited by whattheh at 5:18 PM, October 8th (Tuesday)]


BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013 PA 2010
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 569 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 16

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