Befuzzled, thanks, that is a good suggestion. I had in fact considered it when I read that post the other day.
I think I may do it, even though my own story seems so blurred and fuzzy right now. Maybe then, my H will be able to insert his story to mine.
And no, I am not trying to punish. There are days when I am quite hopeful and grateful that we are together and trying to make it work.
I try to be happy. I want us both to be happy, but the trying wears me down.
I try to push down the obsessive thoughts, but they come back to bite me-with a vengeance. It is at those times when I need him to step into my world for a bit. To understand the thoughts, worries and imaginings.
In the beginning he was very patient. Now, I'm afraid he has moved ahead without me.
I won't give up yet.