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Newest Member: charlichuck (44233)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Nowhere to go
abigailadams
♀ Member
Member # 37556
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We sold the marital home and the close is scheduled for on or about November 15th which means it can be anytime up until December 15th. My daughter and I must vacate then or face very steep fines.

Only I can't find a new apartment for my daughter and myself. the real estate market where we live is in some kind of a crazy bubble and prices have risen 10 to 15% as I have been looking. Not only are there very few places on the market but the bidding for them is very competitive. I lost a bid last week to two all cash offers.

It was hard to lose my marriage, crushing to lose my intact family but now I feel nothing but despair over finding a place to live. As I made Halloween decorations with my DD, 9, and her friend this weekend, it was everything I could do not to cry. I am starting to think that I won't be able to hold it together. For her, at work, at all. I am crying everyday now again just like in the beginning of this shitstorm. I am already taking ativan and ambian.

I am going to have to lower my expectations one more time. It seems too cruel that I now have to choose between a small and dark apartment or one that is very far from our friends, my DDs school, the life we know.


Me BS 54
Him WS 51
Married 10 years together 13
DDay October 11, 2012

Posts: 134 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Brooklyn, NY
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((abigail)))) I'm so sorry, honey. I know that panic all too well. Are there any community resources that can help locate a place? Any connections through school? If you have a religious affiliation, can you put something in your church's announcements? Work the word of mouth network? Are there any leads on Craigslist or on community bulletin boards? Do you know any realtors you can call? My realtor was on an email distribution list of local reators that often included realtor-owned rental properties that wouldn't even make it out on public listings, so you have to know someone in that circle.

I can brainstorm some more ideas for you if it would help.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24397 | Registered: Aug 2011
cluless
♀ Member
Member # 40538
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We're the same age and I have the same fear if my WH and I don't make it. I fear I'll end up in a box somewhere under a freeway. Life certainly isn't fair is it?

Have you looked at possibly finding somebody to share a place with? That can advantageous for a couple of reasons, 1. cheaper; 2. built in babysitter (sometimes if needed.) I know it's tough, but that's probably what I would do if I had to. Do you have any family/friends that you can stay with for awhile? That could be an option for you. If you want to find a roommate, you can post notices on college bulletins, and be sure to meet any prospective person(s) in a public arena. You can NOT be too careful.

None of this is fair, honestly, you didn't do anything wrong yet you continue to be punished. Keep reading on forgiveness (it's for you not him) and seek anybody you can just sit and vent to, that's what your friends are for. I hope things work out for you.

hugs.....


WH 57
BS 55 -- Me!
LTA EA/PA 1-1/2 years.
D-Day 8-12, 2nd D-Day 9-13, 3rd D-Day 10-13 (stopped counting tt still coming in)
Married 17 yrs, together 20.
MC & IC has been a JOKE.

Status: In careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels and starti


Posts: 163 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oceanside
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are some organizations which match up single moms & kids with other single moms & kids for shared housing purposes. I've been investigating the ones in my area because I may be looking at having to take someone in to help with my financial situation.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9245 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
swizzlestick03
♀ Member
Member # 30102
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take the small dark apartment. You and your children can make it light. It is an apartment--only temporary. That will buy you some time to figure out you--what you want and need.

New place = new memories. I know it is hard but It will be ok.


Me: BW-32
Him: WS-31
D-Day #1: 16 August 2010
D-Day #2: 16 January 2011
One small kiddo.

Posts: 558 | Registered: Nov 2010
20Hopeful16
♀ Member
Member # 40487
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry this is so much added stress for you.

I know it doesn't seem like it, but you do still have some time to figure things out. Take PPs advice, there are options out there.

And know that where ever you end up, your DD will be fine. You just need to present it to her as an "adventure". Kids are so much more adaptable than we are.


Me: BS (39)
Three Beautiful Children 12,9,5
DD: 8/24/13
Heading for divorce
Moving on with life

Posts: 107 | Registered: Aug 2013
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Find something temporary while you look around for other options. I have a friend who rented the first year, something small and dark, while she made sure she could afford the payments, bills, settled into her new life.

Then a year later, bought something, had money saved and a direction.

For me, I bought a much smaller house in a good neighborhood. I look at is as an investment for my future I'm here for now, and no, it isn't my dream house, but when my kids are older...or I meet a great man and want to marry again, I can sell it for a tidy profit!


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4011 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
Topic Posts: 7

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