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Newest Member: BetterMindset (45337)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Steps
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:53 AM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yesterday was one of the neatest days of my non-dating NB and I just had to share.

After ex-shat left, I was panicked as a SAHM...I had no idea how I was going to get back into the workforce since we lived in an area that I'm not originally from. I remember putting in 10+ teaching applications to area school districts. No calls back. Not. One.

One day on a district website I saw an opening for assistant girls cross country coach for the local high school. I ran cross country in high school and have been running ever since. I figured I've got nothing to lose, so I applied. Almost didn't get the job because the head coach was looking for more of a cheerleader than someone who had knowledge...but he decided to take a chance and go a different route than what he had in the past.
That first year coaching them was fun and a needed distraction from the D and ex-shat antics. But D and ex-shat antics were definetely in the foreground and coaching was in the background.

This season that shifted. The further out I've gotten from D, the more mental energy I've had freed up to spend on my girls. They are the daughters I will never have. I love watching them gain confidence and attain their goals. I love being that other adult in their lives that they can come and share their joys and sorrows with. And I really love teaching them to run!

Yesterday, they had their conference meet and won it by one point over our rival to claim the conference championship. (If you know cross country, you know what a big deal winning by a point is). It's the first time they have done that in their school's history. I was so proud and grateful to have the opportunity to be involved in it.

When I first joined SI, I remember reading that the best revenge is a life well-lived. You know what, I didn't even think about that yesterday...didn't even think about ex-shat at all. Didn't once say to myself: "Ha! Ex-shat, my life is so much better and I've shown you!" Nope, not once did I think that because I don't care. I don't care about comparing my life to his life anymore. I just live my life and love it now.

Thanks for letting me share


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is an awesome post and it is really neat to see how you have grown into the position.

You sound like you are in a good place right now. I'm glad!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15288 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25726 | Registered: Aug 2011
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4185 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's awesome!!


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4202 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
macakipa
♀ Member
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love it


M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love
This.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17488 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love this post!

I went to my first XC meet yesterday to cheer on my son's friend. The excitement in the air was so fun! I have recently gotten into running so it was so cool for me to watch the kids try so hard to beat their times. So many kids were crossing the finish line wearing only one shoe because their shoe had fallen off in the course and they wouldn't stop to put in on. I loved it! Made me wish I could go back to HS myself and run XC. :)


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
seekingright2013
♀ Member
Member # 37991
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is awesome! Thank you so much for sharing this.


BSO, 53
exWSO, who cares
DD: 11/18/12
DD2: 11/21/12
Kicked him to the curb 11/21/12
“I tramp a perpetual journey.”
― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Posts: 118 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Red State SE US
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome, tesla!


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15413 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Artemisia
♀ Member
Member # 40564
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Claps, claps, claps! Thank you for posting.

Posts: 117 | Registered: Sep 2013
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great job, and so inspirational! That truly is the best revenge, and even better that you don't really care. Yay!!! And congrats!


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny


Posts: 3406 | Registered: Dec 2011
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay! So happy for you Tesla.

[This message edited by Bluebird26 at 9:30 PM, October 6th (Sunday)]


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1360 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's awesome, tesla! Way to go as a coach and as an enlightened being who has left her dungbeetle ex and moved on to the state of "meh"!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just an awesome post tesla - just what I needed.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
numbandnauseous
♀ Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 11:36 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations, tesla and girls' cross country team!!!! (hands clapping icon)

Much hope for continued happy days like this in your NB!!!!


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:57 PM, October 6th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tesla, as a mom of 2 girls I am so thankful for women like you.

DD16 has a wonderful, inspiring water polo coach. This lady made sure DD16 would re-join the team when she was going through a period of depression; she rallied the troops and DD16 got back into the sport and now is captain of the JV team.

Thank you so much for your dedication. And maybe you will that daughter one day, maybe a step daughter?

Keep going strong!


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Bebba1171
♂ Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Way to go Tesla!!


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
MyVoice
♀ Member
Member # 35695
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

awesome post thanks for sharing and congrats on living life well

[This message edited by MyVoice at 8:37 AM, October 7th (Monday)]


Me:BW 46, Him:WH 50
two kids DD14 and DS17
Married 26 years
OW 28, crew member (he was the ships captain)
"People are formed by their actions, not their ideals" unknown

Posts: 471 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Australia
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know that some sports are overemphasized in our world today, but it has been my experience that extra-curricular activities enhance the learning process in school.

This is particularly true when great caring coaches like you step up.

Bravo!

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7739 | Registered: Aug 2005
Topic Posts: 20

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