I am sorry for jumping in here late. But this thread has bothered me.
When I first came to SI my H and I were long into R. I thought I was in great shape...
But I was so full of anger towards the OW (an old friend) that it clouded everything I did.
I went into the Wayward forum and was really unkind to a member that posted there. I was so blinded by my anger I let myself take my pain out on someone else who was hurting as badly as I was.
I dont know if it was DS or AN, but I was publicly called out and booted from the Wayward forum.
Initially I was pissed...how dare they, eff them, those assholes in that forum...etc etc.
I was humiliated, but why shouldn't I be called out for being disrespectful? It allowed other members to know someone had their back and it also taught me to think before flying off all pissed off.
It was also the reason I started to look at my anger. I finally realized that the pain I was in was eating me alive and I had allowed it to turn me into a cynical mean-spirited person.
I read Safeguards original comments in JFO and I cringed. Not only because I felt the pain towards the original poster but I knew the pain Safeguard allowed to take over her words.
Kudos to the mods for calling me out that day. I am thankful I was given the opportunity to see where my anger was taking me and I am forever grateful for the ones who walked this site ahead of me that helped me work through it.
Wherever Safeguard lands, I hope she finds peace, comfort and a way through the pain we all feel during this process.
Thanks Mods, and SI. For me, your stepping in was a godsend.