Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Makeitstop85 (44953)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Saw XH's best friends tonight, ughh.
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 2:27 AM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Saw XH'sBFFs tonight. Thought I'd feel awkward and uncomfortable. Turns out, XH's BFFs have only seen him once every 3 months, on average.

Talked to one, who I've known for 25+ years. He said he only sees XH once every 3 months or so. Same w/M'd female friend.

XH apparently not only droppec me, but ppl he's known for 20+ years. Weird, all of it, so weird.

XH's very good F friend said ' you look better w/o XH than you ever did w/XH'. I know it's true, but fuck, what the shit w/XH????


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 752 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 4:58 AM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine's done this too. He denies it though

He insists that he has the same friends as before. But it's funny how he only hangs around with work friends who've never met me. He doesn't want to be around people who really know him...and me


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - Susp EA 'The Baker'
COW - EA/PA 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
COW - Susp EA 'MiniMe'

Posts: 994 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 5:52 AM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. Same here. Mine dropped everyone and only stayed closed with his BFF who lives 10 hours away. He sees him on average once every couple years.

Everyone else, including family, co workers and friends who are here, were dropped. He isolates with the few trashy people the skank sees.

They want to run so it stands to reason that they run from everyone. The problem that they usually realize too late is that they can never run from themselves.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2794 | Registered: Jan 2011
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It would be hard to face your friends/family without tarnishing UnicornFartLand - I'm guessing that's why they do it.

I'm pretty strict about not letting people tell me stuff about him. NC = No New Hurts - it includes NO info about him. I strongly suggest you implement something similar because this kind of stuff messes with your head.

Most people understand and I think are relieved when I tell them I don't want any info on him (like they are absolved of their perceived responsibility to inform me). Others are pushier and I have been known to put my hands up with a firm "NO" to make them STFU.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5558 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Gnat even admitted that nobody he was good friends with agreed with what he was doing. Most of his co-workers think he's scum too. He has one former co-worker who was a friend to the A that I think he sees on occasion. Other than that, I think he and Hello Kitty hang out alone.

The really sad thing is that when he told me none of his friends agreed with what he was doing, I asked if that gave him a clue that he might be wrong. He said he didn't care and that he would just make new friends. Gee, nice thing to say about your life long friends.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 897 | Registered: Mar 2013
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh and Hello a Kitty has no friends here as she moved from out if state and appears to not have a job.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 897 | Registered: Mar 2013
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm pretty strict about not letting people tell me stuff about him. NC = No New Hurts - it includes NO info about him.

99% of the time I can stick to NC & XH is not the topic of conversation. Got a little tipsy last night, and there are some things about XH/M I'm still trying to figure out. Including: did he cheat w/ the woman before me on his then GF. Which is what I was asking XH's friend about.

Trying to piece together the reality of my entire R/M w/XH, not the reality that he presented, IYKWIM.

The really sad thing is that when he told me none of his friends agreed with what he was doing,I asked if that gave him a clue that he might be wrong.

XH actually said that ALL of his/our friends approved of the A, b/c EVERYBODY hated me from the start. (XH has a very black/white view of the world)

The only friend XH has is a former OM, now M'd to his AP. So, he's very welcoming to OW, beings his M started as an A. I had been friends w/this guy for 12+ years, only to find out he was helping XH cover the A. That's XH's BBF.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 752 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They want to run so it stands to reason that they run from everyone. The problem that they usually realize too late is that they can never run from themselves.

This sounds sadly familiar - my XWH still doesn't associate with 99% of the people we knew as a couple.

Almost 3 years since Dday, and he's finally starting to make some peace with his own family, but even that is not at all the same.

I don't think it's hit him yet that he can't run from himself, but for me, it really doesn't matter anymore.

One thing I realized early on Vulcanized - they lie as much to themselves as they do to anyone else - it's the only way they can survive.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4527 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, October 5th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trying to piece together the reality of my entire R/M w/XH, not the reality that he presented, IYKWIM.

I don't think there is a BS on here who hasn't felt the same. The thing is you most likely won't get an answer that will do anything but bring you more pain.

Whenever a penny drops for me and I wonder if he cheated with some woman I say to myself: "Probably. What a fuckwit, seriously."

HIS reality doesn't change your part in your M. Not one bit.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5558 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 9

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.