[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 9:04 AM, October 4th (Friday)]
In my case, the picture I see if we D is definitely worse than our current situation, for several reasons. Is it ideal? No. But is it better than the whole D scene? Yes.
In my position, the timeline was a factor as well. My husband had basically a ONS - there was a hook up, he came home and sexted her, they texted one other day, but I found out four days after the hook up. Our marriage had been in a rough spot for a while because my husband is an alcoholic.
That being said, he returned home Sunday (when he sexted her), called his sponsor Monday morning and started going to AA every single day, he texted her Wed., I found out Thursday and confronted him. He came clean.
Had he not been working on his sobriety before I found out, that would have been a deal breaker. Period. He'd already been through rehab two years prior.
I had young children, that I was really unwilling to share, and prior to the A, he had been a stellar dad. (one point for staying)
He had lost his job, and according to the D Attorney I saw I would be most likely the one to pay CS, and even spousal support (10 points for staying) I wanted that MF'r back to work as quickly as possible, and no way in hell was I gonna give him $$ to live on whwen he was the one who F'd the Marriage.
I loved my home (1 point for staying) Was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to afford the house on one income alone.
I didn't want the kids to have to change schools (1 point for staying).
So yah there were a few factors that played into my deciding to stay, and try, but primarily I loved him, and wanted to make it work. Putting up with as much as I did, you bet, the above stopped me from kicking him to the curb more than once.
If we didn't have kids i doubt we would still be together, he made very little effort in the early days after dd and had it just been me i would have let it go. I tried double the amount i should have had too for the sake of the family.
The fact that he even brought our children into their disgusting A makes me sick