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Newest Member: MovingPast (44273)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Quick help!
PinkJeepLady
♀ Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last time I posted (2 weeks ago) WH had made a "list" of escorts from a city he is traveling to for work. He said he knew it was wrong and admitted he is an SA. On his own he looked up 12-step programs and did go in the city he is in for work. I met him here on job location and we both went last night. He seems to really involved in it, but I am not sure if he is daily doing the work, such as journaling. He also met with our very helpful religious leader since then. He hasn't been to MC or IC because of travel.
Before he left for his trip, he on his own made a list for me of the things he is committed to doing and gave me his passwords. So, improving on some things for sure.
Here's the deal. This morning he left for work and I am looking on the laptop for a news article and find the oddest thing. In the history it shows an image he looked at 2 days before I got here. It's a porn photo with a photo of me also in the folder. The one of me is one that I sent him awhile ago after I got my hair done. The porn photo looks like one that was downloaded a year ago, right before he came home from overseas.
Also, I see 2 porn videos downloaded at the time. It doesn't actually look like they have been opened since, not that it matters.
We have actually had a very nice week, talking, visiting with family, being together. Now I have that sick feeling, the one we all get. He is supposed to be coming back for lunch, I am not sure how to handle it.
I hate this!!!!


Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
forgivingnow
♀ Member
Member # 33549
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sent you a PM.
(((Hugs)))


Me-BS 51
FWH-51
M 31 yrs.
Dday 3-19-11, TT 10/2011, Full truth July 2013
Strength comes from within. You can't get it from someone or go somewhere to get it. It is already here, waiting to be used when you need it most. Believe in yourself.
R

Posts: 597 | Registered: Oct 2011
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You honestly approach him about it, without judgement. Say hey I found this, was this something you were looking at? Lets delete this together, so it is no longer a temptation. Be kind, not angry. This is an addiction, it's going to take time, and he will stumble. Be supportive, but be firm on your boundaries.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7799 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
PinkJeepLady
♀ Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks TNurse, that's what I was thinking, but needed a little support.
Actually I am sitting here thinking how far I have come in this journey.
I seem to have learned a little self control.
It's hard for me to understand the "stumbles" though. His stumbling is just so hurtful to me. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but it's so hard not to!
I like your idea of deleting together, I think that will work.
I am repeating right now "supportive, but firm in my boundaries". So, glad you are here!


Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

glad I could talk you down from the ledge.

You do need to let him know that this is extremely hurtful to you. But given his history, he honestly may not have even realized it was still there.

((((and strength)))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7799 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 5

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