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User Topic: Were your WS and AP "committed"?
Beemer
♀ Member
Member # 38499
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

well she was committed... my FWH's AP was shocked, SHOCKED!, to find out that he and I were still sleeping together - she was totally DEVASTATED to find out that he was sleeping with me all along


BW - Me (33)
FWH - Him (34)
Married - 8years
D-Day - 06/06/12
Status - Trying...things are good :)

Posts: 77 | Registered: Feb 2013
Dreamland
♀ Member
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope.. Not from him.. She asked him where they were going? He said there is no we.. And it's going nowhere..
So do we still want to meet up and fuck at park and ride. Stupid slurs says yeah ok then.

She must blow...her self esteem to be so low that she would agree to being less than a whore.


Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
whatamidoing
♀ Member
Member # 37152
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes
they talked /talk about marriage
he took her to all family things this year
he told her and included her in work
but he denied it all to me
he is trying to have an emotional affair on her with me
it's all sick
he cared more about proving he was honest and a good person to her than any people who really matter
committed to destroy my life and start this new one but keep me In his dilusion


A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself
_________________________________
BS Me 43
WH 42
DD June 2nd '12
LTA (2+ yrs)
False R Many times from July '12 till now forced D
OW: acting like she is the wife

Posts: 182 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Guelph
dindy
♀ Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that during the A they probably promised each other everything even though they kept telling each other what they were doing was wrong.

Then when I told the OW's GF about the A, OW went complete NC and ex hasn't spoken to her since (well this is what he told me, who knows).

It shows how much they really loved each other!


Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
dindy
♀ Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that during the A they probably promised each other everything even though they kept telling each other what they were doing was wrong.

Then when I told the OW's GF about the A, OW went complete NC and ex hasn't spoken to her since (well this is what he told me, who knows).

It shows how much they really loved each other!


Posts: 459 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
HurtButHopeful?
♀ Member
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He and OW were making secret wedding plans. I found out about the A because he asked me for a D so they could get M. He said he hadn't L me in 5 years. (He later recanted that revelation.) Exposure brought him out of the fog. Now he says had he followed through with their plans, he would have one day awakened to a nightmare.

[This message edited by HurtButHopeful? at 2:08 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]


Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WW and her OM exchanged rings at about 2 year into their LTA.

yeh. how touching.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche


Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
prowoman
♀ Member
Member # 40761
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW certainly thinks so... but how committed is any WS to an AP that they leave every time for their BS? They're just committed to delusion.


me: BS 39 | stbxWH: 46
DD14, DS2
DDAY: Aug12... A continued "underground"
Separated Nov13 and Divorcing
OC Born May 14

Posts: 129 | Registered: Sep 2013
toomanyregrets
♂ Member
Member # 37740
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OM promised my fWW that he would leave his pregnant BW and 3 kids and move to the west coast to be with fWW and raise my kids.
Of course after she left me and took the kids back to her parents place, OM sorta changed his mind. He's had no intention of following fWW. She was just a cheap trick until his BW had their baby.


BH - 64
fWW - 60

"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife


Posts: 466 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Upstate NY
heforgotme
♀ Member
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did your WS and AP promise each other anything?

He promised her that if they were foundout, they would continue to see each other.

This did not happen.


D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1081 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I assume the XH promised to be faithful. Uh, nope. After I left, XH would still try to get some. Bet OW doesn't know that.

I'm pretty sure there are a few other OW floating around.

Also know that main OW pretty much forced XH into filing. Bless his little heart, it only took 3 years & me doing the leg work to make it happen. I'm imaging that it was demanding a ring for at least the last 3 years.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 747 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
dbellanon
♂ Member
Member # 39236
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah... I've got a version of this story. OM was seeing another woman at the same time he was seeing XWW. XWW confronted him about it, and his excuse was that he thought they just had a misunderstanding about the "exclusivity" of their arrangement. Seems he figured that since he was seeing a married woman, the usual rules didn't apply.

Which, if you think about it, has a certain logic. How the hell can you be "exclusive" with someone who is married to someone else? But this absurd hypocrisy seems lost on people living in this twisted fantasy world.

The amazing thing is that XWW accepted this explanation, and the two of them decided to be "exclusive" (whatever the hell that means) up until the point that I discovered the affair and they had to break it off.

So let's keep score. The fact that this guy had no problem fooling around with a married woman? No alarm bells there. The fact that he was two-timing you at the same time that you were two-timing your husband? No problem. Just a miscommunication. He's still a good guy. When he doesn't want to get back together with you after you divorce your husband because he says that it was a mistake? NOW he's being a jerk!

Welcome to the land of fantasies and brain farts, ladies and gentlemen.


ME: BH, 28
Her: WW, 27
DD: 4
Married 6 Years.
DDay: Early May, 2013
Divorced

Posts: 218 | Registered: May 2013
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH actually says that he never promised MOW anything but she just "assumed" they were "exclusive" from how much time he spent on the phone/computer with her. Hell, to look at it on paper it's amazing that he was able to hold down a job.

I guess by that same logic I should have assumed we weren't exclusive based on the lack of time he spent with me and the kids. Hindsight.


Posts: 620 | Registered: Sep 2012
tryinginmi
♀ Member
Member # 29358
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The cOW went PA with a 21 year old boy the same week she gave WH his BJ's but he would not/could not have sex with her. The stupid idiot still went after her. I just don't get that. I found out a week later, and they took the A underground for another month. I just cannot comprehend. But yes, they talked about what things would be like if they could have a life together.

[This message edited by tryinginmi at 9:38 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]


Me - BW 40
Him - FWH 39
Her - MOW 47 Fat Assed Toothless Man Faced Whore!!!

DD#1 July 28, 2010 Admitted to EA. A went underground.
DD#2 August 19,2010 Admitted PA


Posts: 997 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Michigan
Katieisfree
♀ Member
Member # 22930
Default  Posted: 3:38 AM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH had an A with MOW. MOW did not want to end her marriage so just a friendship with my WH. They had PA and I moved out due to his behavior, which I did not equate with an A.

When I discovered the A and they called an end to the PA they wanted to remain friends. My WH could not believe the MOW would not speak to him and as they were co workers it was thrown in his face each work day. MOWs BH was the man who told her never to speak to my H again.

My WH is now remorseful and realizes that he was totally living in the fantasy world hiding from his past. The co worker left the employment and is still married.

They thought they were friends and good friends at that. My H was so committed to this friendship he gave up on me.


DD 6/6/08
Sep 5/8/08
R 16/12/08

Posts: 485 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Australia
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup. ow convinced my W that they were more evolved than the rest of us, and my W could love 2 people at once.

W bought a ring for ow sort of as an engagement ring, 'because same sex couples couldn't M in Illinois'.

I still don't have an explanation of how W could be engaged to ow while M to me, and it still hurts, now that I think about it.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10063 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
momwith2boys
♀ New Member
Member # 37459
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ye they were in luuurve!! They talked about getting married, having babies and where they would live. He told her that I would get half of his income and she did not like that. She also did not like that he was still sleeping with me. She talked about going to the Caribbean with all the kids ( my 2 and her 3 kids). I was like over my dead body that she would ever be near my kids let alone take them on vacation with her!!! The whole thing is crazy! I will never understand it!


Me BW 34
husband 34
Married 9 years, together 12 years
OW-my so called "friend"
2 boys (6 & 2)
D-day 10/17/2012
D-day2-2/24/2013 told me it was her
D-day3-6/16/2013 found out affair never ended
Working on R

Posts: 34 | Registered: Nov 2012
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And why would they assume THEY wouldn't get cheated on too? Do the WS think that they are just that much better than us poor BS? Their Luurv is real and so their commitment will be that much stronger?

Posts: 620 | Registered: Sep 2012
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the thought makes we want to start a new thread...

Posts: 620 | Registered: Sep 2012
BIZZYBEEZ
♀ Member
Member # 37645
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW certainly thought so. Even in her email to me just the other night she tells me that "he may have told you it was just sex but you should know it wasn't & I have proof". Then a couple sentences later she proceeds to tell me that she's filing a lawsuit against H for the $16,000.00 she spent coming to see my H because she damn sure wasn't going to let him get away with using her for sex
I've read emails, texts & Voxer messages & no where did he ever profess any feelings for her. The worst I read was her asking if he missed her & his response was "I miss your presence" whatever the hell that means. There was even one message that said "if my wife ever finds out you will never speak to me ever again" - so far he's kept his word. We'll see - it's been almost a year & every time she's made contact with him he has told me immediately. He doesn't answer calls from her area code & blocked calls are off limits for him to answer.


BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 39
DDay - 10/22/2012 (worst day of my life)

Learning to breathe again - one day at a time


Posts: 235 | Registered: Nov 2012
Topic Posts: 44
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