I have read that when you think something doesnt add up, its most likely because i dont have the whole truth. I feel like that everyday, and everyday i make up my own stories in my head. WBF tells me he has told me EVERYTHING, then why do i feel like i have to be an investigator everyday?? my gut tells me there is more. we are suppose to be reconciling!! last night i read to him some articles from this library because they are helping me and i want him to understand what he needs to do to help me. what does he do? tells me i cant hear anymore im having an anxiety attack!! he cant be reminded of how shitty he is?? that wasnt what i was trying to do!! i just need him to know of ways he can help me cope!!!
so help me here people....
this last DDay#2 has really got me. i cannot get past this one. here it is in a nutshell and then im going to tell you what i did (crazy me) today because i need answers!!!
the OW is my mothers coworker!!! and was mine as well when i worked there when i was 16. she has been a family friend for yearrssssss. she has no life, cant hang on to a man for the life of her, and sleeps withmen on first date. we all know this about her, but we still liked her and would hope she would find someone nice one day. Well this woman decides to exchange numbers with him because she claims she has dirt on me. so fo course WBF probably needs justifications for his actions and goes to her house to discuss me!
next day she tells my mom and every other coworker there including her boss that she had drunk sex with my WBF!! the OW tells me he bought the condoms at a conveince store and she said "he didnt last long".
this is WBF version....
he went there, she told him i did this and did that and i dont love him, bla bla bla... and he got mad.. she started trying to kiss him and touch him, and he said no, but he goes in bathroom and puts on a condom he said she left for him on counter. then he claims he thought about it and took it off in the bathroom and had an argument with her and left.
i went to her house and retrieved condom. condom looks in tact. no sperm whatsoever.
so now im thinking maybe his story is somewhat correct.
i asked her where is the sperm and she tells me check for fingerprints. well duh i know there gonna be on there.
now im sending condom in for vaginal fluid. they could have had sex but maybe he didnt cum. (this is my crazy thinking)
he wants me to do it and he said he will pay for it.
so here is me being even more nutty.. i have the box too.. so i call the store. turns out they have a purchase of that brand on the same day and same time he would have purchased the condoms. 5:26 am... what a coincidence right??? so just before he is claiming no way she must have bought them, and i no where near stupid, i know he bought them.. so i call up store again and ask her if she can look up surveillance footage of that day and see who purchased it. she is going to get back to me soon.
I tell #WBF that and he is yelling at me and saying thats illegal and all this crap.. i told him why u worried.. if u didnt buyt them this will make u look better right??
so i know my WBF another pressuring from me he explodes.. he said yes he bought them because she asked him to buy her condoms because for another guy that was also over at her house... but turns out they were for my WBF..
NOWWWWWW he claims he as going to tell me about the condom purchase after i got the dna results back from the condom because if i found out he bought the condoms first i would just leave him without testing condom. he is dying for me to send in condom to prove he didnt go through with it.
so right now im losing it.. and i need to vent sorry.
im suppose to be reconiling here but i do not have all the truth so i still have to dig. he isnt ready either, he still cannot be honest. selfish yet again and protecting himself.
i have forgiven him for the other things but i dont think i can for this. The Ow woman was a family friend, a coworker and my poor mother works with her and they were very close. my mom even had words with her over this. i alost want to su her for harrassment because she blew up my buisness all over.
god help her is the dna results come back in WBF favor.
im so tempted everyday to beat her ass. i will never get rid of her as long as she works with my mother.. trigger!! im afraid ill hear something everyday... or thats he has hurt my mother.. then im really going to hurt her.. im in a bad staage now.. im angry beyond..........
i just had to go on antidepressants today..this has ruined my life.
and now i thought i was reconciling w WBF... and he betrayed me again.. we has such a good weekend .. now im back to square one.. i have no money to see counselor, i have no insurance.. im just screwed... this website is the only thing i have. sorry im typing fast and furious right now