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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Nuclear Family
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Many things are in mind after yet another mega life change, but I will start with wandering thoughts about the nuclear family concept.

It's something I wonder about often nowadays, nothing in particular and also much in particular...like, why so much emphasis is placed on the concept and why it is so damn easy to break?

I suppose that "nuclear" is just another description of "family", and "nowadays", sounding like my father, there are so many kinds of "family".

Do we get this from tv and our relatives before that, that a two-parent household with man and woman is the correct one? And is that type of family going to be part of the stone age eventually?

Wandering along, I think too of how it's been made that we as people can, simply put, fill out some forms, produce a cauldron of gold coins and get out of that nuclear family.

The concept of "family" has me boggled as well, for if you can be duped by your own "family", then what does the word mean? Different things to different people, surely, but then begs the question, what to teach children this means and how to teach a child to be a good person, when the rug under their world gets pulled out from under and earth turned to quicksand?

When people treat others badly, and kids have it done and witness it, how to then keep drilling it in that they should be good people, when good isn't always done in turn?

ETA, if I pick someone to plan and share a life with and chose so wrongly how to help these kids fend for themselves and not get hurt, but also have kindness? Where's the center of that gravity? To be open to people in your life, but not vulnerable?

How the mind wanders under duress...

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 6:33 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)]


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2229 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, October 1st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've actually been wondering about the concept of extended family. Since neither my STBXH nor I can afford to keep our house by ourselves, my kids and I are going to be moving in with my parent. My parents have been active in the lives of my kids, and are actually baffled that STBX's parents have not visited him since our lives exploded. I guess that the concept of family, nuclear or not, can be different for each person.

I wonder if an extended family helps reinforce a nuclear family. Grandparents can help with childcare, and parents that are less stressed can give more time and attention to each other. Maybe additional eyes watching comings and goings can help with deterring As. I don't know.

In some ways I'm mourning not just the loss of my M and H, but also my ILs. Luckily my SIL has reached out to me and has been very supportive. They will always be my kids's family, but I know it will never be the same for me.

In the end, I guess 'family' is the people we love and support. My STBX did the opposite of that.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1748 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Topic Posts: 2

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