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Newest Member: tryingtolove (44683)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What it feels like....to be the OW
UndecidedinMA
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am now involved. It did not "just happen". I consciously knew what I was doing. I calculated every thought and emotion I was allowing to enter my mind. Every word I said to him brought us closer to a unspoken precarious ledge over which we pretended we wouldn't fall... This is how an affair starts...

I am intending on saving this to my own blog - truer words never spoken. I told my FWSO this was what the deal was, he just kept saying "It just happened" This is not a 2x4 and please know as a BSO I am not sympathetic but I do appreciate the honesty of how you "fell" into this.

Now how do you stop? Just like a car with brakes - you just do. If you see a brick wall in the road ahead, you don't smash head on, you stop & save yourself. Do that first, brakes. I would think then you need to do what you can in restrospect to his BW. I cannot tell you to tell her as a OW, I only know my perspective.

I can feel your conscience and I think you can to otherwise you would not be so...well you wouldn't be here.

Good Luck, I wish you peace in your future.


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
womaninflux
♀ Member
Member # 39667
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your moniker should be blindsidedbymyself.

I wish the OW in my SAWH's affair had hit the brakes early in the affair. But then again it would not have allowed for SAWH to figure out that he needed to get help for his REAL problems.

Maybe this will help you - you are getting involved with a man who's already making another mistake after he was caught in one. THAT is also pretty messed up. That is not something I'd want to touch with a 10 ft pole. Not to excuse you but you are in a reactive mode and aren't thinking straight.

So what is his excuse?

Do yourself a favor and end it. Take care of yourself and heal yourself from your own martial devastation.


BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

Posts: 864 | Registered: Jun 2013
harrypotter
♂ Member
Member # 39526
Default  Posted: 5:17 AM, October 3rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Blind

As a WS I don't know what it's like to be a BS and from seeing what my BS goes through on a daily basis I never wanna. That said, I know a lot of waywards on here struggle with seeing the pain and suffering that they caused. It's a double edge sword not only are you going to put another person through more of what you have gone through but you are going to have to deal with all the depression and guilt and the just overall worthless POS self esteem feelings that comes with it. I honestly think that it will be worse for you then a lot of us considering that you know exactly what this does and feels like. I am actually a little sick to my stomach thinking about what I think you will feel like. I don't want this for you on top of what you have already been through. You need to find a way to stop yourself.

[This message edited by harrypotter at 5:20 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)]


WS-Me
BS-Her (Lostinthismess)


Posts: 71 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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