Now Sept 2013 I attend re-hearing to have RO vacated, no more reason for it, we’d D and I did not violate RO. In front of Judge she, let me make it clear was a female judge, reads affidavit states I remember this, asks ex why she wants the RO extended. She is stilled scared and I had, out of frustration on a few child support checks put letters on check (IHUFC – probably can figure this one out another was IKWURA – I Know Who You Really Are). Judge asks what these letters mean and I say no meaning, just random letters so I can track. I know, I know I should not have put that on the checks, stupid mistake.
Anyway, judge then asks me something that blew me away…, paraphrasing, I know you’re within your right pleading the 5th but we are in a civil court.., do you want to explain about those recordings… I stated I did not have legal representation and will keep my right to not further say anything.
I spoke with my D attorney and another and they never heard a judge try to goad someone into breaking their 5th right. Unbelievable!!!
RO got extended for another year.
[This message edited by redshift at 2:14 PM, September 27th (Friday)]
What are you doing to show that you are a stable, responsible person so that it should be lifted next year?
I am no lawyer, but if I were you, I'd be doing tangible things that I could use to show that it's no longer needed.
Writing those notes on the checks makes you seem very unstable, as does missing the appointment the previous year.
Perhaps you could go through an anger management class, start doing volunteer work, or something else recommended by your lawyer to try to provide evidence that it's no longer needed.
I hope you find peace and happiness.
Married: 11 years, no kids
The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
At the 1 yr renewal, D is final. SO shows up w/o representation. D gets extended. 2nd renewal I was there to witness the craziness. I could not believe what I saw/heard.
Judge asks her why she wants a renewal. 'She's still scared and has bad dreams about my SO'. Judge asks if there has been any violations of the RO. "No" from SO's XWW. Judge's response: That's good. The RO is doing what its supposed to. Renewed for another year!"
SO took an attorney the next time. No RO.
Let me be clear: My SO has no history of violence. Had not made any threats to her. Had gone out of his way to avoid violating the RO. Had missed visitation with his children to avoid violating the RO. And it was renewed. I would not have believed this could happen if I had not seen it play out in front of me.
I'm so sorry this happened.
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
Al the judge needed to do was state don't write anymore things on the check.
I cannot stand ex for what she did to me and the relationship to my DD.
All of the ex actions were to inflict maximum pain and distress to my life. She ruined me financially.
However, I have bounced back.
[This message edited by redshift at 3:19 PM, September 27th (Friday)]
So question is was judge trying to help ex get me in trouble? And WHY would the judge do this???
was judge trying to help ex get me in trouble?
People do some really horrific things to others and if that judge does a lot of RO hearings.....I'm sure that she's heard some awful stories that were told by perfectly respectable-looking people. She doesn't know *why* you made those recordings, kwim? Without any frame of reference, it could possibly look like stalker-ish behavior. So she's left guessing about your motivation and reasoning for the recording.....and NOW she's looking at mysterious letters on checks sent to your x. Doesn't sound as if she *bought* your explanation....
Just out of curiousity.....what could she file a suit against you for? Do you think that she would bother to do that? She could have done it 2 years ago and didn't.
ETA: Read your order. I'll bet that you have a window of time in which you can appeal the decision.......
[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 4:09 PM, September 27th (Friday)]
I can only guess the real motive why judge wanted me to break my silence, but to me it seems very unusual, as did both attorneys.