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Newest Member: Ugh123 (44903)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Tips on handling D questions please
Tripletrouble
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

By this time next week our D news will be getting out. We have been very discreet about our marital problems, and because I have teenagers to protect I have no intention of telling anyone we're divorcing because my highly respected, saintly church going husband was on AFF and then lied to me and raged at me for months after being caught. Again, I am keeping this private to keep from humiliating and traumatizing my kids. When friends, family members, neighbors and other aquaintances start asking questions, I need a prepared response. I discussed this with my IC, but I feel like her suggestions all make it obvious he was cheating and would only invite more questions. I'm thinking the best response will simply be "It's still too hurtful to talk about. How about this weather we're having?"
Suggestions are appreciated.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 634 | Registered: May 2013
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think a simple, "I'd rather not discuss it. I'm sure you understand." kind of response is perfect. If someone pushes at that, you may need to come on stronger with the boundary - "I'm not going to discuss it."

((((Triple))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25265 | Registered: Aug 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have the power to shut down any and all questions, but you can't stop people from talking. You have to realize that.

For me, humor helped. I told anyone and everyone 'I didn't like his girlfriend'. They either laughed or didn't know what to say. Whatever works best for you.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20148 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Tripletrouble
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sad, I think that is a big part of my frustration. People gossip, they just do. It makes me sick to think of people speculating, and since everyone thinks he is soooo great than surely I was the cause. So unfair. But really, NOTHING about this has been fair. I just need to get over it.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 634 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 4

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