I preferred to treat her an a non-entity. She wasn't the cause of our M problems, nor was she going to provide any solution thus my reason for never contacting her. She colluded with my H to violate our M and didn't look back. Gross.
Now. Mom told me that two wrongs don't make a right. Well, what about three, Mom?
See. I saw the AP for the first time earlier this month at my H's conference. This is where their A got started three years ago. We decided to go together or not go at all. I promised him that I would not confront her. That I would never do anything to embarrass myself or him. I told myself (and many of you told me) to take the high road. And I kept my promise.
She clearly did not.
First, let me say that when I saw the AP in a pic the size of my thumbnail, I thought, "must be a bad pic." It wasn't. Then I thought, "she must be better looking from the neck down." She wasn't.
I am not going to give Cindy Crawford a run that's for darn sure but at least my ass doesn't resemble Humpty Dumpty. Yes. Her ass looks like that giant egg that caused him a great fall.
So...back to the conference. I wanted to have fun and the less I saw of her the better. But she couldn't stay away.
The first time she messed around was the last night of the conference. We walked into an after party, band was playing lots of people having fun. Her friend looks over, sees us, says something to her. She looks our way and then moments later they walk towards us. I think they will say something but they deke around my H getting close enough to brush his jacket. There were two other ways to get by us. They chose that one. Fine. Ignore her LA. Check!
Did I mention her hair? Apparently it used to be long/brown. It now looks like it should be on a member of an 80's band....Duran, Duran, Flock of Seagulls, Simple Minds. Yeah. Simple Minds seems appropro.
The second time she messes with us she "accidentally" pocket dials him on her way out of town. She is talking about karma of all things. She knows H will tell me of the call and he does. It does not cause a problem between us as she might have hoped tho. It does demonstrate to him that she can stoop. And at the very least that she still has him on speed dial. He believes this action is not beneath her.
The third wrong is apparent to me when I look at a picture of us taken with my BB by a third party while all dressed up. Guess who is in the background? Yup. AP. And not only is she in the pic, she is looking at the camera, smiling.
What a douche I say out loud. You with your bad cut, Humpty Dumpty ass and big mouth smiling at the camera.
She could have used the last almost 10 months to work on herself (or at least find an honest stylist and invest in a treadmill) but she didn't. Introspection? What's that?!
So...for all those people who have read my stuff you know this post is definitely a departure. Forgive me for my immature, mean-spirited rant. Maybe you are shaking your head. Maybe you are thinking I gave up some power to write this. Maybe I did! But I feeeeeel good James Brown.
You know the real me will be back with my positive posts, ((hugs)), Brene Brown quotes and grace in place.
For now, I am going to look in the mirror and rejoice in my curvy, well-shaped ass. While it won't give JLo any competition, it sure as hell beats Humpty Dumpty any day.
[This message edited by LA44 at 2:42 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]
I can't believe the skank photo bombed you! That's just pathetic! You have to laugh.
Be glad you are you, and enjoy your life!
[This message edited by bionicgal at 12:26 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months
In MC & Reconciling
Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time. ; )
Your vent is great and it doesn't bring you down one bit in the class department.
I am of the mindset that it is very healthy and understandable to vent about the AP's. How they look, whatevs. It is good to get that stuff out. Lots of times, once you put it out there, there is where it stays. It is out of you.
I can't believe Humpty Dumpty ruined your pic. How very, very pathetic. Did your H see the pic? That is unfreakingbelievable that she did that. The audacity of these AP's is mind boggling. Can you cut her out so you can save the pic of you and H, especially if it is a good one?
BTW, your post was hilarious!
[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 12:30 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
Thanks for the laugh......
You have to drop the grace and introspection on occasion and just get snarky.
Misson Completed BG! BTW, I wrote you a PM last week. Check already! :)
SMS, I knew you would like my post! The audacity right? The funny thing is that after we took the shot I realized that it might be possible she was in there so I had the guy take a few more with a diff background. I only looked yesterday and when I zoomed in that is when I saw her. I told H. He asked if I deleted it and I said, "no. I wanted you to see it."
heartache...I don't know if she is stalking me. I do know the first time she googled me after the "lights went out" was the first time I became "real" to her. What did she find from google other then the fact that I chaired a park build in our community? An article I wrote for a Mommy web site 24 hrs post D-Day. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me that it was even printed, my real name was under the article. I had to ask them to delete it. But I waited a week!
LA that plays nicely with others will be back soon. This is Lola - her evil twin.
Hugs!! You know I admire you and all of your upbeat quotes. I admire the grace and strength you had to face this situation head on.
It speaks volumes about you. Your WH is one lucky dude!!
I have to face a similar situation in less than 6 months. I hope I have the grace and strength you have shown.
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl
Sometimes certain people make it really hard to hold back.
Glad you had a good time!
...and I could not help thinking of her when I visualised these events at the conference.
If ever there was someone living that character, and saying "Do I look bothered???" it is your husbands AP... and my answer would be... "Why yes! You Do!!"
That's how I see it LA. I bet seeing you with your husband, with your poise, grace, laughter, and your sexy, curvy ass...just ate her up!
I actually think this rant was pretty healthy for you, LA. Well done.
Ahh Rebreather, that means a lot coming from you. I feel really really good right now! I just never talk that way about people. Never. But after last week, seeing what I saw and feeling quite sure based on her actions she isn't a remorseful AP...I felt an exception was in order!
Thanks brokensmile....we will be there for you - be sure of that!
Glad I wrote it. Glad for all of your posts.
@SurelyNot - Mom/Dad have amazing sense of humour. Dad's reminds us of the late great Johnny Carson -that deadpan expression at the camera and Mom is ...well...funny stuff just happens to her and she laughs it off. w
Bad knees, great genes!
[This message edited by LA44 at 1:37 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]
Forgive you? Even when you 'rant' you're one class act LA♥
In fact I think that post deserves ...
[This message edited by Want To Wake Up at 2:04 PM, September 26th (Thursday)]
Seriously, thank you all for your notes.
For lack of a better word, I feel real right now.
. I'd keep the photo - she didn't ruin it at all. She rather memorialized the fact that you've won by assuming her rightful position - in the background, on the fringe; insignificant and forgotten
That's pretty cool anewday! Thanks for writing that. I have not deleted it.