Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Desirelily (43166)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Skank just sent message to me....
FogHater
♀ Member
Member # 33156
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On Facebook
I really want to know what she has to say.
Call me crazy but I want to know if he is telling me the truth.
I know she could be lying but...
What would u do?
Please no 2x4...well maybe a soft one?


I don't know what I'm doing
but I know what I'm not doing

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Illinois
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ignore.

Re-do your nails instead.

Ignore.

Vacuum the cat instead.

Ignore.

Organize the garage instead.

Ignore.

Don't poke the crazy.


AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21009 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Block that bitch.

There is NOTHING she will say to you that matters.

No matter what she says,you won't know if it's true.

Your WH has decided he wants R..correct? If so,then she is pissed that he doesn't want her..everything she says will be designed to cause you pain,confusion,and anger.

NO.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: R? I don't know..ask me tomorrow..it changes rapidly.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 6630 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
sad34
♀ Member
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will probably b 2x4'd but my wh lied to me and the ow told me the truth this verified by evidence she had then by wh finally confessing. I know many woman received the real info from the ow.


Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 134 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
OldCow18
♀ Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You didn't read it? I'd have to read it. I wouldn't be able to ignore it.


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (48) 10 years, together 15
D-Day 6.8.13
D-Day #2 9.6.13 Broken NC/TT
D-Day #3 10.23.13 "Full Disclosure"
WH having PA with MW coworker 3.13-6.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@sad34...I usually agree...I got the truth from the AP..when WH wouldn't give it to me.

But..in this case? Foghater,this OW has been his OW for a long time..and has been a bitch to you..she won't tell you the truth..and even if she does..it's HER version of the truth..it doesn't mean it IS the truth.

Nonononono.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: R? I don't know..ask me tomorrow..it changes rapidly.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 6630 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
FogHater
♀ Member
Member # 33156
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did read it...couldn't help myself
Felt like I got kicked in the gut...again.
I know she is probably lying but what if she isn't.
She told me I don't know the whole truth...how would she know what he told me?
Unless she is just trying to stir up trouble...but maybe I should ask more questions?
Any advice would help
Please no 2x4s
Just advice...and some who have experience dealing with the OW.


I don't know what I'm doing
but I know what I'm not doing

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Illinois
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No 2x4....I would of read it too!

I think you are viewing it correctly; that it is probably lies but there could be a truth in there somewhere that you can store away to help you weed through what you have been told from him.

You are right, she has no way of knowing what he told you unless they had a discussion about it.

No not engage with her though!!!! Block her so she can't get to you again.


When someone shows you their true colors, don't try to repaint them.

Posts: 1863 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have read it, too.

Maybe you can have a friend correspond with this woman, instead of you?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8740 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
FogHater
♀ Member
Member # 33156
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Confused...this is the first time she has contacted me.
WH just says she has threatened me.
Never heard from her till now.
Maybe she feels she has lost him to me and now is reaching out to me trying to stir up trouble.
I won't believe anything she says


I don't know what I'm doing
but I know what I'm not doing

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Illinois
TheClimb
♀ Member
Member # 25895
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know that around here we believe NC is often the best policy for "no new hurts". While I believe that is a good rule of thumb, I understand what you are saying.

I would only suggest that if you feel the need, simply ask her to supply "proof". OW told me after the affair had been over that she heard she wasn't the "only one". I told her send me proof, or at least give me a name... crickets from her.

Perhaps she has copies of e-mails or text messages or even photos that you know nothing about.


"That which can be destroyed by the truth should be" P.C. Hodgell

Posts: 441 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Southern Maryland
fooledbyapilot
♀ Member
Member # 26349
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had phone calls with OW after D-Day. She lied about contact with my WH, matched his story.

Later I found out the truth, on my own.

Some of what she said was truth though, about their relationship. I knew this to be true as I know my WH quite well. I actually told her what he would do if she pushed him in a conflict situation, she couldn't believe that I knew exactly how he reacted.

It's a crap shoot. Hard to sort the truth from the lies.


ME(BS):47 HIM (WS):50
WS Married 21 yrs together 33
dd#1- nov 16, 2009
DD#2-went out NYE 2009-found out Feb 2012
DD#2-Feb 5, 2010-date they had(found out Feb 2012)
dd#3 - June 16, 2010-broke NC
dd#4-Dec 31, 2010-broke contact
DD#5-Feb 21, 201

Posts: 186 | Registered: Nov 2009
broken81
♀ Member
Member # 36774
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my case some of what OW said was true and a lot was lies.
I needed to hear her version to get a better picture, up until that point WH had not given much info.
I took what she said and compared it to the info i gathered on my own to know what she was truley lying about.
Verifying what she was lying about (by phone records) helped me to even entertain the idea that things WH said she was lying about could be true.
Whats true and whats not can be such a grey area but seeing how much she lied and how wildly helped me to see what kind of person she was. That really got me over wondering if she had something i didnt.
For me I needed to see Side A and side B.
I would assume OW is lying unless she can provide proof or you know that yourself to be true. I bet she is hurting that she didnt win.


Me BS
him fWS
M 8yrs 2 kids
DD 2/12 lies until 4/12
2.5 yr A with an OLD married whore
working on R

Posts: 232 | Registered: Sep 2012
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IC compared sociopath OW to a vampire. They move on eventually but in a time of crisis they come back for blood from their familiar. How often they bounce back depends on you. You give them blood(any contact at all) and they will keep coming back forever as long as you or H give them blood. Do not do it. I would bet something has blown in her life and it needs a fix.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1187 | Registered: May 2012 | From: South
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((EvenKeel)))

OW outed the LTA to me. WH#2 didn't have the guts to do it and she was tired of being lied to herself. I found out alot of things from her that he would have never of told me otherwise. He was also playing her and had even gave her an engagement ring. He was living in his little fantasy world and playing two women at the same time.

However she knew he was married when she started the A with him. It's just like I told her..If he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you and is that what kind of man you really want?? She only saw the loving sexual part, she wasn't seeing the everyday married part of WH#2. It's like it never occured to her why he stopped seeing her and started dating me and married me. If he had truely loved her, he would have never married me.

I had two seperate conversations on the phone with her about the A. They were old fuck buddies from before we started dating and got married. She of course blamed him and he blamed her for how it started again. I will never know which one initiated it and it really doesn't matter.

The only part I regret in speaking to her was that I felt so hurt by what she said and it has caused me pain ever since. Sometimes I wished there were things I never knew happened. She tried her best to make me D him and still attempts to break NC in a way that I will find out. On DDay#2, she left me a note in my jewlery box. These OW will do their best to try and break up your marriage so they can have the prized WH. All they are really getting is a mixed up, broken person who they helped bring down. That is why so few of the relationships with WS's marrying the AP work.

I would suggest that you break all contact with the skank. She is only trying to hurt you and distroy your marriage. Some of the things she says may be true, some of it may not. You need to now concentrate on your own healing and continued contact with the skank will not promote that. (((HUGS)))


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry, Foghater..I must've gotten you confused with someone else.

And..yeah...I say NC...but I would have read that message... .


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: R? I don't know..ask me tomorrow..it changes rapidly.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 6630 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
alphakitte
♀ Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, first, this by AJsmom, caused me to split my side:

Vacuum the cat instead.

FogHater, you posted,

Maybe she feels she has lost him to me and now is reaching out to me trying to stir up trouble.

Who knows what she feels. If she was secure and happy, she probably wouldn't be bothered contacting you, right? Assume she isn't happy. Maybe she wants revenge. Regardless, it is most probable that contactingyou is self-serving, for her! There is probably not even a sliver of a chance that she is contacting you for your own good. (Many OW know that our WSs had other affairs and consider themselves enlightening us that they weren't the only affair.)

I doubt any BS gets the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Were we the ones to have cheated we probably wouldn't tell the whole truth either. It's just human nature not to, I think.

If your spouse is remorseful and commited to reconciliation, and fidelity, then that is what matters the most, I think.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 332 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH just says she has threatened me.

Sounds like Skank could use a visit from a police officer, or a process server serving her with a restraining order and a court date. Maybe both. She sounds like a person in serious need of a wake-up call.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
FogHater
♀ Member
Member # 33156
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She also asked if I wanted the naked pics of him he sent to her....
She could be lying but if I said yes don't know if I could see them knowing they were to her....
What do I ask her?
Don't want to give her to much
Don't want to encourage her.
I guess crickets would be appropriate.


I don't know what I'm doing
but I know what I'm not doing

Posts: 1301 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Illinois
heartache101
♀ Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i would have to see those pics. That is just me.


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3133 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 44
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.