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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Mad at myself: Don't look at Owife's FB page!
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 10:32 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*slapping hand with ruler*

Yuck! Shame on me! Why did I search!?!?!?

NC NC NC NC NC NC NC

*whispers* On the bright side, though, she's really unattractive. I've never seen her up close. Her profile pic is... *shudder*

Now where was I?

NC NC NC NC NC NC NC

Reminder to all: No good comes of looking them up. Really, it doesn't. It's irritating, to say the least, and an emotional setback at worst. I must be getting closer to meh, though, because it didn't bother me as much as it would have months ago. It still annoyed me, and I shouldn't have done it. She's posting about her faux life, and it only riles me because she's such a hypocrite.

Headed off to block her...


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
wannabenormal
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You already hit nail on head...

We look because, of course!, we are curious. We want to 'see' the draw.

We look...we wonder WTF the draw is?! So we, or maybe friends look if you don't have a social network page ( insert whistling smilie here) we don't see 'the draw'.

Then we feel silly - now I looked, for what? For nothing! She sucks, XH or WH sucks. Now I feel crummy for 'caring'. Rinse and repeat.

I don't personally FB or really otherwise social network because I'm a bit old-school and don't get it. I talk to those I want to talk to...BUT my bestiest friend in the world DOES do all that. And she updates me on OWifey (as a BFF should! LOL!). Okay, so ignore me... we're looking at OWife's page again.

Of course it's full of totally neato things and great pics!

When's the last time YOU posted a selfie of your PMS'ing belly? When did you last post of money shortage with bills coming or the fact that family pet just crapped on the floor?! Probably never!

I don't know, as much as I hated being curious - I was. I wanted to GET what was so great. My BFF would tell me stuff and I'd think, I guess it's all neat.

But in the end, it ends up being 'real life' for them too. Bills, kids, pets...bullshit.

While I don't love this is how is turned out, I do like that it's only me and kids I have to worry about. Not someone else spending my money, calling shots and so on.

Fuck them! (but I totally get checking in, it's a sickness! LOL!)

[This message edited by wannabenormal at 10:57 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)]



Posts: 14389 | Registered: Jun 2008
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, September 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, it's there annnddd.... You said it. Its irritating or a setback, but somehow we just have to.

But I got a kick out of one of the wedding photos slut has on hers. There's xpos walking ahead of her, pulling her along (a reference from another thread about the way that can reveal the health of the M! ) and her dress reveals her kankles and fat arms as she hurries to keep up. And then I saw the one of a smiling DS. I know he hated it but just the same..... there's that smile that was captured.

It's a mixed bag, likely better left alone. NC NC NC NC. (((ta74)))


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2388 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 4:26 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Block, block, block. None of this does you any good. You know that ...

((TA74))


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 767 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't even shame you for it. I'm like a detective. I know everything there is to know. Maybe it makes me feel more in control. I don't know...


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3416 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Gajit
♀ Member
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I looked up OW on facebook as well. The only pic I could find of her was one someone tagged her in a year ago. Nothing like me at all.

Then I blocked her.


Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
Snapdragon
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What kind of idiot has their fb open to the public? Isn't that the first thing you do it make it friends only? Or am I particularly private?

Yeah... block her. I have my ex, the stripper exgf of his, and all his family blocked.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3086 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, BTDT.
I recently got the urge after ex-shat's 10,000 word "I still love you" text bullshit. But then I thought to myself, "What the fuck? Go do something awesome for yourself instead of checking in on the train wreck." Because all she posts is the sparkly, glittery shit, pics of my son, and pics of her vain, trashy-ass self. Seriously, I got better shit to do. At least that is what I repeat to myself until the urge passes.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I look because it's another way to protect my kids. When my youngest turns 18 I will stop looking. I also look at the court website though. I would love to be able to stop looking but I'm dealing with two nut cases.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I blocked her last night. I don't want to be tempted. I still find myself feeling pretty nauseated about her and XWH's incredible levels of hypocrisy, and her FB page is just an extension of that-- playing at perfect mommy, pretending that she's an intellectual, etc. You know, the typical FB front that screwed-up people put on.

Anyway, blocked and ignored. I did take pleasure in the fact that we only had one mutual friend (a LD friend who is really XWH's friend, and we're not the least bit close). I'd like to think that the rest of the mutual friends that XWH and I have might actually have some standards and morals. (Yeah, it's probably because she just hasn't sent them friend requests yet... )


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, September 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Guilty (raising hand!) OW blocked me, why? I have no idea. I have only spoken to the skanky bitch once. But she is stupid enough to not have her FB private. (Who does that???) So out of extreme curiosity, I created a fake person so I could see it. I was just curios what kind of a person she was that she could do something like she did. At first, it was kind of healing to see how she was totally over my EX. She used him just like he used me.

But then I found myself getting really angry after reading her page because she is SUCH an fucking hypocrite...she joined a non-profit service group that helps at risk teens and does a lot for her students at work and everyone thinks she is just WONDERFUL...what a great, giving, sweet person she is to do this! I found myself answering her posts in my head calling her a fucking hypocrite, etc. So I had to just stop. I was driving myself crazy.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
jackfish
♂ Member
Member # 40257
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TryingAgain
Good job in blocking her. Just stick with it. I had to block my adulterous wife cuz I would plainly see things she'd put on her wall or comment that just made me either sick or angry. Not really angry but blood would boil, and it would ruin the rest of the day. I do not look at his profile, nor anyone tied to him.

Basically, I'm trying to get rid of all negativity, all evidence of her (cleaning out house, etc), no contact (except for Son-facts or business), dropping the memories, no more reminiscing, just letting go. Focussing on me, what I want, having fun with my son, friends, family. Becoming happy with all the good things I have. Just consciously trying to change to a positive world.

IT IS WORKING. Actually, I happened to see stbxw the other day when she dropped son off. Absolutely no attraction to her at all! Used to worship the ground she walked on (shudder). I have found that this healing and moving forward stuff does take time. But, little by little, it's getting better.

So ya, no FB checks, no photo albums, old love letters/cards, no "memories". Went thru all of that, but moving on. Kinda divide-and-conquer mentality, but it's working.

Ps, venting of this site has helped too.

[This message edited by jackfish at 2:59 PM, September 27th (Friday)]


Posts: 88 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 12

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